16

After much deliberation, Elsia finally decided to let go of Adrian.

She chose to follow her mother’s advice, believing her feelings were temporary and that physical compatibility wasn’t important in life.

Besides, Adrian seemed to keep his distance from her at times. The wall she felt from him was not pleasant for Elsia.

“Let’s end this!”

Elsia made up her mind to sort out the man who dominated her thoughts and swayed her will.

She decided that the powerful magical attraction she felt for him was the reason she had been drawn to him all this time.

‘Yes, everything is temporary, and when I look back after years, it’ll just be a good memory.’

Suppressing her growing emotions, Elsia repeatedly whispered to herself, then glanced at the necklace Richel had gifted her.

“This necklace is the problem!”

The color of Adrian’s eyes matched the eyes of the child in her dream, which made her think that was why she was drawn to him.

Adrian’s dizzying, mesmerizing eyes were the problem. She convinced herself that everything had coincidentally overlapped, stimulating her only temporarily.

“It was supposed to end after just one time. Why did I drag it out so much?”

Though she told herself she’d ended it, when she tried to completely erase Adrian from her heart, Elsia felt an ache somewhere deep inside.

“If I don’t see his face anymore, the pain will gradually fade. I don’t dream nightmares anymore, so there’s no reason to meet him again.”

Elsia continued to forcefully suppress her feelings.

“Mars will be a good father, and I just need to raise our child well. Yes, that’s enough.”

Even if she couldn’t be a good lover with Mars, she could at least form a good family relationship.

She kept reassuring herself this way.

Elsia had finished sorting her feelings, so all she had left was to let Adrian go from her heart. It was truly time to say goodbye.

Elsia put the necklace Richel had given her into the trash can.

She felt sorry for throwing away a gift, but she thought she shouldn’t see the necklace if she wanted to move on.

A single tear slid down her cheek and fell to the floor with a ‘plop.’

She had finally steadied her wavering heart, so why was she crying? It should be over once she let go.

Trying to completely erase Adrian from her heart made her whole body protest. Tears fell, and her body trembled. It was agonizing.

The thought that she would never see Adrian again made her lips feel dry and her insides twist.

A sadness she couldn’t express kept stabbing at her chest.

‘Is this the feeling of love? Wanting to cut him off, but feeling as if half my heart has been severed…’

Now that she was truly letting Adrian go, Elsia realized something.

‘Maybe my feelings for him are love.’

At first, she thought she’d been bewitched by magic. The second time, she thought she’d been seduced by his body.

But that wasn’t it. What she felt from his body wasn’t just pleasure.

What she felt with him was happiness. Being held in his arms made her happy.

So she became greedy and wanted more. What she truly wanted was Adrian’s love for her.

But reality was harsh for Elsia. His feelings didn’t go the way she wanted.

Adrian had told her from the start. He’d said there was a girl he wanted to protect.

“If I’d known my feelings would grow this much, I shouldn’t have gone to his villa…”

Elsia always decided not to visit Adrian after meeting him, but each time, she found herself drawn to him as if by gravity.

Every time she went to see him, she made excuses, because her pride wouldn’t allow her to admit it.

She didn’t want to acknowledge that he didn’t love her.

Adrian probably thought their meetings were casual, but Elsia didn’t.

So Elsia didn’t want to admit it was a one-sided love.

She couldn’t bear being dumped by Adrian, so she couldn’t tell him her true feelings.

“Now, as I try to sort out my feelings, I finally understand them…”

Even she found it absurd, but as soon as she realized it, Elsia had to let go of that love.

She knew her feelings for him were one-sided, so she had to let go even more.

Lightning flashed outside the window. Normally, she would have been scared and trembling, but not now.

Elsia walked to the window and opened it. Heavy raindrops poured down.

Was the sky crying for her?

The rain slapped her face and soaked her clothes, but Elsia didn’t want to close the window.

She wanted the cold night air and rough wind to carry her frustration away somewhere.

And that night, Elsia had another nightmare.

It wasn’t in the forest. Someone approached her as she lay down and spoke.

—You brought this on yourself. Who forced you to go there? How does it feel to see everyone unhappy because of you?…got kicked out because of you, right? Everything happened because of you, and you don’t even have the courage to admit it, yet you pretend to smile. Ugh, creepy.

“Ah!”

When Elsia opened her eyes, it was still the dark of night, and she could hear the heavy rain pouring outside her window.

She sat up. Her body was drenched in cold sweat, so she took a towel from the drawer and wiped her forehead.

“Who could it be? Who would say such harsh things to me?”

The boy’s last words echoed in Elsia’s ears.

—Creepy.

It was a voice she’d heard before.

“Could my lost memories be related to that boy?”

Elsia tried to recall the past, but her head started throbbing again.

The pain was so intense she couldn’t sleep, and she ended up staying awake all night.

In the morning, Marie entered Elsia’s room and asked, seemingly surprised,

“You didn’t sleep well again, did you? You don’t look well.”

Elsia took out her mirror at Marie’s words. She thought she’d recovered, but her lifeless face stared back at her.

“I just… have a lot on my mind.”

She planned to meet Adrian today and say goodbye, but in this condition, she couldn’t face him. She worried he might think she couldn’t sleep because she didn’t want to break up.

She couldn’t let Adrian think that.

Elsia applied makeup more thickly than usual. Marie tried to stop her, but Elsia wanted to cover and hide everything with makeup.

* * *

Elsia stood in front of Adrian’s villa with a resolute heart.

She remembered the first time she came to his villa. Back then, she’d hesitated to enter, and she was hesitating again, but for a completely different reason.

That time, she was scared because it was the beginning; now, she was scared because it was the end.

Elsia couldn’t be sure her decision was right. But she had to end it, so there was no choice.

Knock knock.

Elsia took a deep breath and knocked. The door opened, and Adrian looked at her without a word, without inviting her in.

He seemed to sense her mood, and even the air between them felt heavy.

“Is today our last meeting?”

Adrian spoke first, before Elsia could say anything.

Hearing Adrian’s voice, Elsia felt tears welling up.

She mustn’t cry. She wanted to firmly tell him this was their last meeting, to take care, and to live happily from now on.

But her throat was blocked, her lips parched. She needed to open her mouth and speak, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Elsia could only bow her head and slowly nod.

“…”

Adrian said nothing. Elsia wanted to look up and see his expression, but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

If their eyes met, a tear might drop, and that would show she still had lingering feelings for him.

She didn’t want to show it. She didn’t want Adrian to know she loved him, didn’t want her one-sided feelings to be exposed.

“May I ask the reason?”

“There’s… no reason.”

Elsia managed to speak in a trembling voice.

“Is that your final answer?”

She couldn’t answer Adrian’s question.

In her heart, she was shouting, ‘No. I don’t want to end things  with you.’ hundreds of times, but she couldn’t say it aloud. Elsia just nodded slightly.

“…”

As Adrian said nothing, silence fell between them.

Elsia wondered what he was thinking now, but didn’t really want to know. She assumed he’d just accept it.

“…What if I refuse your proposal?”

But Adrian’s unexpected words shattered the silence.

Hearing something she hadn’t anticipated, Elsia unconsciously looked up at Adrian.

He frowned, as if in pain.

Perhaps her words had hurt him, for he too seemed to have moist eyes, like Elsia.

Looking at Adrian’s trembling blue eyes, she saw her own anxious expression reflected in them.

‘Is that the face I’ve been making?’

Elsia quickly bowed her head and turned her back to Adrian.

She had promised herself not to show any emotion, but her face was full of regret.

She didn’t want Adrian to see her lingering feelings. She had no intention of ever seeing him again, so why was she hesitating….

Elsia took a deep breath and finally squeezed out her voice that wouldn’t come out of her throat.