“Most alcohol in the North has high proof. Wine should be fine, but if anyone offers you liquor, you should refuse. You never know how strong it might be.”

“Yes. I will.”

While Etia silently berated herself, Derek quietly filled their glasses. Etia picked up the wine glass in front of her, smelled the aroma once, and carefully took a sip. 

The wine’s fragrance spreading through her mouth wasn’t bad. Though she didn’t know much about wine, it seemed the claim about it being a good vintage wasn’t false.

When she took a sip, Derek, sitting across from her, took a sip as well. The glass he held was identical to hers, yet somehow it looked slightly smaller, Etia thought.

Come to think of it, Etia had never thought about her husband’s appearance. She’d even forgotten what he looked like before he returned, so it was truly accurate to say she’d given it no thought. Two full years after marriage, Etia finally faced her husband properly.

Her assessment was brief. Anyone who saw him would surely compliment him as handsome, Etia thought. 

Black hair with black eyebrows. His prominent nose exuded masculinity rather than being overbearing, and beneath it, his full lips bore a red tint that suited the wine perfectly.

Etia found his eyes particularly striking—his deep blue irises looked like gazing into the ocean depths. Strangely, they were eyes that made her want to keep looking into them.

After studying his face for a while, Etia recalled other noble ladies praising his appearance. 

They’d each blushed and gushed about his looks, only too intimidated to approach him because of the cold atmosphere he radiated.

Many ladies had lamented that it was such a shame he was lord of the frontier—the North, no less. She even seemed to remember hearing complaints about servants stealing glances at him, being told to know their place. 

There had been more explicit talk too, but she couldn’t recall that far back.

Back then, not knowing him well, she’d just quietly nodded along, but now Etia understood a bit of what they’d been saying.

“Is there something on my face?”

While she was lost in thought, Derek, who’d been silent, suddenly asked her a question.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry. I made you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not uncomfortable to that degree.”

“I see…”

Etia’s face flushed at Derek’s sudden question. She’d been staring too intently at someone right in front of her. Flustered, Etia quickly averted her gaze.

Her sense of reality seemed somewhat diminished. Etia hadn’t seen her husband for two years, and even after his return, they’d never properly conversed, so even with him in front of her, she’d treated him like viewing a portrait. 

Though not a major mistake, Etia felt somewhat embarrassed. She drank the wine in front of her a bit hastily for no reason.

“Do I make you uncomfortable?”

“Ah…”

When the words between them ceased for a moment, Derek was the first to speak.

“I know I’m not good husband material. I also know this wasn’t a marriage you wanted.”

“…”

“Even if I couldn’t be like other couples, I should have paid more attention to you all this time, but I failed to do so. I’m sorry. I was too complacent.”

Etia, who’d been fidgeting with the glass in her hand, felt somewhat flustered by his words. No appropriate response came to mind. 

After deliberating for quite a while, Etia couldn’t say anything to his words and simply looked at Derek. Meeting his gaze, Etia belatedly added an explanation.

“No. Everyone in the castle was kind, so adapting wasn’t difficult.”

It didn’t seem like a sufficient answer, but no other words came to mind. That said, she couldn’t tell him the honest truth.

Recalling when she first came to the North, she couldn’t say it had been good, even as a lie. Adapting to the North hadn’t been easy.

Etia had never visited the North, not even for travel. Her father’s strong aversion to the Land of Fire made it even more so. 

All the stories about the North that came from her father’s mouth were negative, making the unknown land she’d never visited seem to exist only as fantasy, like something from mythology.

Naturally, since stories about Derek had reached the South and the capital, she knew it wasn’t an illusion, but unexperienced lands planted fear all too easily. 

Having to settle in such a place, Etia’s heart had always been uncomfortable.

There wasn’t even anyone she knew here. Derek was all she knew. Originally, she’d planned to bring along the personal maid who’d served her at her family home, but that maid had also moved to another region for marriage, making it impossible.

So truly, not as metaphor, Etia came to the North “alone.” To that barren land with its harsh cold.

But she couldn’t show signs of struggling. She was none other than the “Duchess.” 

Though kind-hearted people knew she struggled adapting to the North alone, they couldn’t abandon their expectations of her as “Duchess.”

It had been the mistress’s position left vacant. They must have anticipated it from when the marriage was announced. Hoping their new mistress would be wise and good. 

That she’d adapt to this North, grow old with the master, and bear many children. These were things one could know without asking anyone. Amid such expectations, Etia “dared” not show signs of struggling.

Two years like that. Time spent adapting to a strange land without anyone to lean on, without even a husband. So Etia couldn’t bring herself to fabricate lies. It would all be exposed anyway.

“If you need anything, please speak comfortably. I’ll provide whatever you need.”

“…”

“I hope your time here leaves you with good memories, at least.”

Had he noticed Etia’s momentary gloom over old memories? Derek spoke to her in a softer voice than before. But Etia looked up at the man sitting across from her with slightly surprised eyes.

“While I’m here?”

His kindness wasn’t what surprised her. 

“While you’re here.” 

That expression made Etia belatedly recall why she was wearing such clothes and doing this. She was here to sound him out about divorce.

Yet Derek brought up that topic first, while Etia had completely forgotten about it. Though it was hard to be certain since he hadn’t said “divorce.”

“Is there nothing you need?”

But Derek changed the subject too obviously. There was no evasive answer to her question either. When he blocked her question with another as though he’d heard nothing at all, Etia closed her mouth in bewilderment.

Sharp, deep blue eyes slightly hidden by black hair turned toward Etia. Etia stiffened without realizing it. The cold gaze somehow seemed to reproach her. Etia just felt flustered. 

What on earth was this man thinking?

“…No.”

“You need not worry about finances. Our funds are sufficient.”

“It’s not about worrying over money. I really don’t need anything.”

“…”

She wanted to demand why he was deflecting, but Etia forcibly swallowed her frustration. She had a hunch she wouldn’t be able to sound him out about divorce tonight.

Etia downed wine for no reason to soothe her frustrated heart. Having drunk rapidly since earlier, she felt heat gradually rising in her body, but Etia ignored it and refilled her empty glass.

“You seem to be drinking too hastily. Please stop now…”

“I’m fine. I can drink more. The wine tastes good.”

“…”

Etia couldn’t shake the thought that she’d done something pointless. Given this man’s personality, even if he was planning divorce, he wouldn’t spill all his plans. 

From the start, saying he wouldn’t drink because of tomorrow’s schedule was like a signal that all her plans had gone awry. 

Yet it seemed certain Derek was thinking about divorce somehow, leaving only Etia frustrated.

In truth, there was something she’d been deceiving even herself about—that Etia didn’t want a divorce.

Not because she loved him. Not because she wanted to grow old with him. Etia feared what would come after divorce.

Her homeland, where divorce was difficult only for women, showed a somewhat cruel side to women who became single after divorce. 

People pointing fingers and speaking ill wherever they went. Caught up in baseless prejudice, they inflated nonexistent incidents and were desperate to torment divorced women. And this unfolded even more severely for noble women.

Nobles valued honor above all else. That’s why they adorned themselves and threw lavish parties. Flaunting their wealth was more important to them than having money piled in warehouses. 

Even without money, they had to throw parties. Because it mustn’t be discovered that their family lacked funds.

For such a noble woman to divorce. Divorce was what dragged the honor they valued so highly to rock bottom. No noble could understand it.

They thought married noble women should live in luxury for life on their husbands’ money. They thought men were the ones who worked hard and earned money, while women spent that money living comfortably for life without any effort or hardship. 

They had to understand even if husbands cheated, even if they fell into drink and gambling. Because women lived happily on their husbands’ money.

Etia couldn’t escape such gazes either. She feared all such situations.

“My lady. Please, really stop now…”

“Do you want a child?”

And that imagination was enough to provoke impulse.

“What suddenly…”

“I asked if you want children.”

“…”

“Is it a difficult question?”

“You seem quite drunk. You should sleep now.”

Having already drunk much wine, Etia, with intoxication rising, found it difficult to control her emotions. She spoke whatever came from her mouth. 

Even while stopping Derek’s hand from taking away her glass, she continued asking him. But seeing Derek’s troubled expression as he avoided answering again, Etia began growing angry.

“Answer me!”

“…”

“Do you want to have children?”

“Is that an important question to you, my lady?”

“Yes. It’s important.”

“Why?”

“If you want them, I’ll have them.”

“…”

“If you want children, let’s have them.”

Etia, not even realizing she was angry or drunk, finally stood up and approached him. Though a short distance, Etia swayed after just a few steps. 

Startled, Derek hastily caught her waist. The distance between them abruptly closed.

Etia, pressing her hand against his shoulder, stared at his face now close to hers, then sat on his lap. Her view became somewhat level, bringing him even closer into view.