2.1 – Temptation

“How is it, dating Sir Guilford? Do you like it?”  

About a week into their relationship, Donna, who hadn’t asked anything before, suddenly brought up the topic. Though she didn’t approve of Ellen dating Leon, she seemed curious about how things were going between them.  

“He’s polite, courteous… I like him.”  

“You don’t look like someone in love. And polite and courteous? Is that something a person in a relationship would say? It sounds like you’re describing an acquaintance.”  

Donna’s blunt remark hit Ellen right in the heart, and a sigh naturally escaped her lips.  

“Well, you see… He’s too polite.”  

As if she were addressing a stranger, not a lover. Ellen let out a deep sigh.  

So far, Ellen had gone on about three dates with Leon. There was nothing special about their relationship; whenever they met, they either had tea together or went for a walk.  

She had thought that dating the man she liked would make her incredibly happy. Just seeing his face would brighten her day, and it would be an opportunity to create cherished memories. Ellen had been full of anticipation.  

But reality was far from her expectations. She wasn’t nearly as happy as she had imagined.  

For starters, she had sent him daily letters as a way of greeting, worried that he might forget about her. But his responses were always businesslike.  

[Then I will meet you tomorrow afternoon at the Mont Blanc dessert shop.]  

While she hadn’t sent the letters expecting affectionate replies, it would be a lie to say that she didn’t feel disappointed.  

Moreover, Leon never visited the Courtney Earldom to escort her. This, at least, was somewhat better. He didn’t even ask where she was staying. He likely didn’t know that she was currently staying at the Courtney Earldom.  

The fact that Leon showed no interest in her was painfully evident, so Ellen couldn’t even bring herself to ask him to accompany her to a ball.  

His cold demeanor made her feel that others would doubt whether they were truly in a relationship.  

Still, she thought she could endure it up to this point.  

What made Ellen feel the most dejected was Leon’s attitude when they were together.  

‘Isn’t the weather lovely today?’  

‘Yes, it is.’ 

They didn’t have long conversations when they met. If she initiated a topic, his responses were perfunctory. His gaze often wandered aimlessly, as though signaling her not to talk to him.  

At such moments, Ellen would quietly sip her tea. She would steal glances at Leon, and whenever their eyes met, she would smile bashfully.  

‘Do you have something to say to me?’  

‘No, not at all.’ 

Even when his questions were formal, Ellen smiled. She didn’t mind looking foolish.  

Part of her wanted to show that she cherished even these moments, and in truth, just looking at him made her happy. Even the time spent having tea together was a precious memory for her.  

She felt happy whenever she met him. Yet… his unwillingness to let her get close left her feeling blocked, as though something was stuck in her chest.  

Still, she thought, at least he hadn’t suggested breaking up.  

Fortunately, Leon didn’t seem inclined to end their fake relationship just yet.  

‘Let’s head back now.’

After having a meal and tea together, Leon always acted as though his duties were done and prepared to return to his estate.  

It felt as if he were saying, “I don’t want to date you, but I’m meeting you because I have to.”  

‘Let’s spend a little more time together. How about a walk?’ 

Though Ellen didn’t like clinging to someone who didn’t want to be with her, she set aside her pride and asked to extend their time together, just to spend a little more time with Leon.  

‘…Fine.’

So he really doesn’t like being with me.  

Even though he agreed, Leon’s reluctant expression made Ellen feel both happy and disheartened. Even when she smiled at him, her heart felt like crying.  

The two would silently walk through the square before parting ways. This pattern had repeated in all their dates so far.  

Ellen always decided when their dates began, and Leon always decided when they ended. He consistently ended them earlier than she expected, and she always had to persuade him to stay longer. 

After parting ways, she would feel strange. Her lips might be smiling, but her eyes didn’t seem to reflect the same emotion.  

“Idiot! That’s not what a relationship is! Tell him to send you affectionate letters instead of those businesslike ones!”  

Frustrated, Donna spoke bluntly.  

“….”  

Ellen, too, was aware of it. This wasn’t how lovers behaved. How could it be considered a date when she couldn’t say what she wanted and had to constantly gauge his mood?  

It didn’t feel like a relationship of equals. It felt like she was the only one holding on.  

Though she didn’t want to admit it, Donna’s straightforward words pierced her heart like a dagger.  

“I write the letters for my own satisfaction. So I don’t want to force Sir Guilford to write anything other than what he wants. And for now… he’s still walking with me and having tea with me, just as I wanted.”  

Even though her wishes were being fulfilled, Ellen’s eyes started to glisten with moisture.  

No, I’m happy and content, so why do I feel like crying?  

She wanted to show Donna a happy, fulfilled version of herself, but she couldn’t. She tried to force a smile, but the emotions she had been holding back threatened to spill over.  

“You fool!”  

“….”  

Ellen thought it would be too selfish to demand that Leon act the way she wanted.  

But couldn’t he at least let her get a little closer? Instead, he kept her at arm’s length.  

Though he seemed kind, his demeanor was cold. While he had good manners, he maintained a certain distance, as if silently warning her not to approach. He behaved as though he had resolved never to touch her.  

He had said he had no prior lovers, but Leon truly seemed like an impenetrable fortress.  

It seemed that the gods didn’t grant everything to a person. Thinking this, Ellen tried to be grateful for even this much. She tried to think positively. 

This was a love that would never come to fruition. Perhaps the gods were giving her time to let go of her feelings.  

At this rate, she thought she could move on from her first love. It felt as though she was being given the time to prepare her heart to leave without regrets, and for that, she was thankful.  

But the longer they spent together, the more a lump seemed to form in her chest.  

Another heavy sigh escaped Ellen’s lips.  

“Don’t get too hurt. At least you can take this opportunity to move on from your unrequited love. But I really hate that your marriage partner is Baron Aran. I’d rather see you end up with Sir Guilford than with Baron Aran. No matter how impenetrable a fortress is, it’ll collapse someday… But Sir Guilford’s walls are something else. They’re beyond imagination.”  

Clicking her tongue, Donna shook her head. Her eyes reflected a sense of regret. Even though she didn’t approve of Leon, she clearly thought he was better than the baron.  

“Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll just be content with this much. I don’t want to be greedy. After all, I came to Melchia just to catch a glimpse of Sir Guilford before my marriage.”  

Although her time with Leon hadn’t turned out as she had hoped, Ellen didn’t want to push her luck.  

“Don’t you feel like it’s a waste to end things like this? After all, Sir Guilford is your lover now. Why not take advantage of the situation?”  

Somehow, Donna seemed more regretful than Ellen.