6.4 

Now that the misunderstandings had been cleared, Ellen thought it might be time to accept Leon again. No, it felt like she had to.  

Though he had rejected her once, he had traveled far to apologize and ask for a new start. So, perhaps it was alright to accept him again. After all, Leon was the man Ellen had loved, and that love hadn’t completely disappeared.  

That’s what she thought in her head. Yet, strangely, she couldn’t look at him with the same feelings as before.  

Why?  

In the past, even after being rejected twice, she had tried to hold on to him. But now, knowing she had only been rejected once, her feelings didn’t suddenly grow stronger.  

If anything, she wished she could love the man who now pleaded for her affection with the same heart as before, but she couldn’t.  

Why was that? Had she sorted out her feelings and moved on from her love for him? Had her heart grown cold?  

Ellen’s gaze trembled as she looked at Leon.  

Before, even knowing it was a bet, even knowing he was using her, she had liked him so much. But now, why….  

“Why don’t you ask me about the bet? Didn’t Donna tell you? That I met you with a light heart before marriage, that I toyed with you, and that I trampled on your pride. Didn’t hearing Donna’s words upset you?”  

Ellen rambled without making sense.  

Even she didn’t know why she brought up the bet. Perhaps she wanted Leon to say something cruel to her.  

She was afraid of starting over with him, someone she was already trying to sort out in her heart. It was unsettling to feel like she should love him again but couldn’t. Ellen herself found those feelings unfamiliar.  

She didn’t even know what kind of emotion it was.  

So, perhaps it would be easier to end things with him now, just like before, by getting hurt again. She had grown used to the pain he caused, almost as if she had adapted to it.  

That’s what she should do. No, that’s what she had to do. Instead of rambling and being ambiguous, it would be better to make things clear with him.  

“I didn’t believe her words. And I can’t be upset. It’s true that I used you under the pretense of a bet. It was my fault from the beginning. And, to be fair, I was the one who acted rudely first, even though I knew I shouldn’t have. I’m truly sorry for using you. I wanted to bring up the bet earlier, but I refrained because I was afraid it might hurt you.”  

Leon stood up and bowed his head at a 90-degree angle. Then, straightening his posture, he spoke again.  

“But I don’t regret using you. If I were placed in the same situation again, I would still accept Logan’s proposal. If it meant I could get closer to you, I would accept it as many times as it took. I’m sorry.”  

His apologetic gaze carried a firm resolve.  

Just as Ellen had used the bet as an excuse to get close to Leon, so had he.  

No. Why are you saying this? You weren’t like this before. You used to push me away, no matter what I said or did, without caring.  

Leon’s response was not what Ellen had expected. She knew his feelings for her had changed. She even knew they were now directed toward her.  

But she couldn’t understand why she kept wishing he would push her away.  

What was even more baffling was that, when he didn’t say anything hurtful, Ellen found herself feeling relieved without realizing it.  

She didn’t understand her own feelings. Did she want him to hate her, or did she not want to be hated?  

“Now that you know the truth, do you feel even a little inclined to love me?”  

Leon’s lips curved into a confident smile. However, when Ellen remained unresponsive, his head tilted slightly.  

“Still not enough, I see.”  

“….”  

Then, with a mischievous smile, he approached Ellen and whispered into her ear.  

“Have you ever seen a place where you can easily witness a clear lake, endless green meadows, and vibrant flowers showing off their colors? If you’ve only stayed in Melchia, you probably haven’t. That place is where I live. It’s a countryside village, but it’s peaceful and serene—a wonderful place to live. Even you could enjoy a vacation there, Sir….”  

Suddenly, Leon began reciting lines as if he had memorized them.  

“W-Wait a moment.”  

Ellen’s face turned bright red as she tried to push him away by placing her hands on his chest.  

“Shall I recite more?”  

But Leon leaned in closer and whispered again.  

“No, how….”  

What he was reciting were the words from the letters she had written to him.  

She had never mentioned the contents of those letters before, so she naturally assumed he hadn’t read them. Yet, he was reciting them word for word without a single mistake.  

“Of course, I read the letters you sent me. I read them hundreds of times, and now they’re just etched into my memory. Shall I recite the contents of another letter you sent?”  

“That’s enough. Please stop. Why are you suddenly bringing up the letters? Please, stop.”  

Ellen held up her palms and lowered her head.  

“I’m trying to show you. I want you to know how much I missed you after you left, how much I longed for the traces of our time together.”  

“….”  

At that moment, Ellen’s gaze quivered. For the first time, she felt the sincerity of his heart, something she hadn’t felt from his sweet words, his touch, or even his apologies.  

“I wanted you to know how much I missed you after you left. I didn’t just read the letters. I revisited the places we dated and the spots where we talked, trying to find traces of you.”  

“….”  

“I was wrong. Before you left, I didn’t even realize my own feelings. That’s why I tried to deny them, to reject them. But after you were gone, I realized how much I loved you.”  

Once he began speaking, Leon couldn’t stop. The words he had been unable to say before poured out with fervor.  

Leon knelt on one knee before Ellen, took her hand, and placed a brief kiss on the back of it. It resembled the solemn vows knights made.  

“You must think I’m foolish. I didn’t realize it while you were by my side, didn’t notice it, and only understood after you were gone. Even I think I’m foolish—how much more foolish must I seem to you? I’ve shown you such a shameful side of myself.”  

Leon’s eyes, looking up at her, seemed lifeless and dim.  

“….” 

As Leon confessed his heartfelt feelings, Ellen’s mind grew even more chaotic.  

She could have brushed off his confessions before, but his earnest demeanor made it impossible to ignore. She couldn’t just let it slide.  

If she accepted him now, she could start over with Leon—not as a fake lover bound by a bet, but as a real couple.  

It was something she had longed for in the past. She should have been happy, but for some reason, Ellen didn’t feel the same excitement or thrill as before.  

Ah. So that’s what it was.  

Ellen finally began to understand why she had been so confused earlier, both when the misunderstandings were cleared and when she heard his confession.  

It was Ellen who had closed her heart because of the wounds inflicted by him. And now, he was trying to open that door, too late.