※Please note that the settings and themes used in this work have been adapted and may differ from reality.
※This work contains content that may cause s*xual discomfort and trigger sensitive reactions.

After your funeral, I got on a plane back to Korea.

I hadn’t slept a wink during the entire service, and the blood vessels in my eyes had burst, leaving them bloodshot. Every blink brought a sting, a dull pain.

“Would you like an eye mask?”

Maybe my face looked terrible at first glance, because the flight attendant asked me carefully.

I was about to say no, thinking that even with an eye mask I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but in the end I just nodded.

Eun-sae.

I’ve called your name so many times that I’ve lost count.

– “Unni, I’ve fallen in love.”

You said that with the happiest smile in the world.

The man you loved so much didn’t come to your funeral.

All I could do was stare at your phone, which never rang.

How could you have loved someone so heartless?

I couldn’t wait any longer for a call that never came. Finally, I gave in and went through your phone, desperately trying to find that man. But all your contacts were stored under nicknames – no real names, no clues. I searched and searched, but nothing pointed to him.

So I started reading every message, one by one, tracing your words, your conversations, until – finally – I found someone who might have been him.

And then I cried.

God, I cried so much.

His messages were vile. Full of crude, dirty words – cold, degrading things that no one should ever say to someone they love. I read them over and over, hoping I was wrong, misunderstanding something.

But I wasn’t.

I just couldn’t understand.

How could you love someone who talked to you like that?

How could someone like that hold your heart?

From where I stood, it didn’t look like he ever loved you. Not even a little.

And yet, whenever he called, you went to him – you gave yourself to him, body and all.

Even to him.

Even to someone who, when you told him you were on your period, didn’t offer care or understanding, but just said, “Then use your mouth.”

I called his number right away.

Because no matter what kind of man he was, I thought he should at least know that you were gone.

I thought he owed you an apology.

Even if it was too late.

I didn’t expect him to fly in from Korea; that would have been too much.

But a gesture, a word – something to acknowledge you.

Something to say you mattered.

But all I got was a cold, automated voice telling me the number was no longer in service.

He had changed it.

Just like that.

So this man doesn’t even know you’re dead.

off, I stood there holding your useless phone, staring blankly at your face in the coffin.

It was you, but it was also me.

We were twins who looked so much alike that even our parents could be fooled when we deliberately imitated each other.

Eun-sae.

I always wanted to ask you.

Eun-sae, you were carrying a baby.

Did you know?

Did you die knowing that?