The coming-of-age ceremony was already tomorrow. It couldn’t be canceled. Some nobles had ridden on horseback for weeks to get there, she’d been told. Moreover, it was an occasion where the Emperor himself would be in attendance. If she were to say now that she couldn’t attend the coming-of-age ceremony, that would create its own significant problem.

Ceres tilted her head slightly and spoke as if soothing a child. To Ceres, who was over fifty, Snow, not yet twenty, really did feel like a child.

“Holy Maiden. Are you worried about making a mistake in front of so many people tomorrow?”

“Something like that.”

Snow lowered her head weakly. She felt too ashamed to face Ceres. But unexpectedly, Ceres Martadia’s soft laughter was heard.

“It’s alright to make mistakes.”

Snow looked at Ceres with wide eyes. Had she misheard? Ceres never lied. But there was no way it could be alright to make mistakes at such an important occasion. Snow couldn’t understand what Ceres had said.

“Holy Maiden. Tomorrow, it’s alright if you get the prayer wrong, it’s alright if you stumble and fall. It’s alright if you stop in the middle of speaking, and it’s alright if your legs give out and you sit down.”

‘Legs giving out and sitting down? That would be a major disaster!’

The range of mistakes Ceres was willing to permit was much larger than Snow had imagined. Snow had been thinking at most of her voice trembling or stuttering, but Ceres was saying it would be alright even if Snow collapsed.

“It’s not alright.”

Snow said.

“I’m actually just… afraid of the coming-of-age ceremony itself tomorrow.”

She was uncomfortable with the Emperor whom she had never seen, and uncomfortable with nobles she had never met. She felt distance from things that were both high and splendid, things that should have made her comfortable. While she, being the holy maiden, had too many emotions she had to suppress.

Ceres gazed into the holy maiden’s clear silver eyes with her deep light brown eyes for a long time. And she understood that there was a more fundamental issue in the young holy maiden’s mind than the worry about making mistakes at tomorrow’s ceremony.

Ceres repeatedly tapped the glass table with her finger. After some thought, Ceres said:

“It might be difficult to cancel the coming-of-age ceremony, but we could postpone it a little. If we say the Holy Maiden is unwell, everyone will understand. How about taking a few days to sort out your feelings?”

“…If I want to, can it be postponed?”

“Of course. It’s the Holy Maiden’s coming-of-age ceremony, so your will is the most important.”

Ceres spoke as if it were no problem. But it was already past noon. The sun would set soon, and if they suddenly announced the postponement of the coming-of-age ceremony now, even the temple would not be viewed favorably by the nobles.

The temple had not received the goddess’s revelations for a long time, and although things had improved somewhat with the birth of the holy maiden, priestly authority was still overshadowed by imperial authority. Though she had lived almost confined to the Santarium, Snow was aware of this situation.

If the coming-of-age ceremony were postponed, the entire temple would be viewed unfavorably. However, if the ceremony proceeded as scheduled, Snow would only need to strengthen her resolve until tomorrow. She made her decision.

“There’s no need for that.”

Snow said. Ceres stared at the holy maiden as if she had heard a somewhat unexpected answer. Snow’s lips opened again.

“Is it really alright if I make mistakes?”

Ceres smiled as if proud.

“Of course. The Holy Maiden is especially loved by the Goddess Amir. People look up to the Holy Maiden not because she is a flawless, perfect girl. What does it matter if you make some mistakes? Have confidence in each of your actions. You are certainly someone who can be allowed that.”

As always, each word from Ceres Martadia became nourishment that helped Snow grow. Snow expressed her gratitude to Ceres. But her insides were still churning.

“I want to calm my mind alone.”

Ceres smiled kindly and told her to do so. After she left, Snow was left alone in the room. Perhaps under Ceres’s instructions, Arianne did not return either.

Snow looked out the window. The weather was still terrible. A wind that could almost be called a typhoon was blowing. Just from being nervous, it was this bad. What would happen to this country if something more serious happened to her?

She soon shook off the burdensome thought. There was no need to deliberately think negative thoughts.

Snow sat in the chair and tilted her head back. Due to the low height of the backrest, the white, round ceiling came directly into her view.

At first, she stared at the ceiling for quite a long time. Then she lowered her head and lay down with her cheek against the glass table. After staying like that in a daze for about an hour, she got down from the chair and lay flat on her back on the marble floor. The cool sensation seemed to cool her heated mind a little.

‘If someone saw this scene, they would criticize the fully grown holy maiden for behaving like this. It’s fortunate that no one is here.’

She thought. But she had a vague memory of having said something similar before. She soon recalled a spirited voice that seemed unlikely to have come from herself.

“And this is a secret, but even though I’m twelve years old, I still play with dolls when no one is watching. Do you still think I’m admirable?”

“Where in the world is someone remarkable from infancy?”

“Snow, my name is Snow.”

Ah, what a nostalgic memory.

The only friend of her own age she had ever made. A boy with black eyes and golden hair with a slight orange tint. It was a memory of him. How long ago was that now? Snow thought for a moment. She tried to focus more on this newly emerged thought to forget the nervousness about the coming-of-age ceremony. No, she didn’t even need to try. She was already immersed in that thought.

‘Back then, I couldn’t sleep and was watching the stars by the window.’

She climbed onto the bed. And like then, she crouched by the window. That day, countless stars had twinkled in the sky like scattered stardust, but today’s sky was a deep navy blue. It looked like thick paint poured onto black paper. There wasn’t a single star. That sky was also a reflection of her mood, so there was no one to blame.

But fortunately, the wind was gradually subsiding. Starting from around the Santarium where Snow was, the wind was slowly dying down. The snowflakes that had been floating and scattering in the wind settled back to the ground.

Snow carefully pushed the window open. As if reminiscing about that day, she looked up at the dark sky without a single star.

That child who had promised to return had never shown himself again.

For the first few months, Snow had waited for him with all her heart. Every night, she would open the window and stare intently at the lawn where he had first appeared. Some nights, she had even secretly slipped out of the Santarium and sat on the lawn waiting. Needless to say, this required tremendous courage from Snow at that time.

But he never came. Despite promising to return, he never showed his face. It remained the same after 1 year, and even after 2 years.

Snow understood him. No, she tried to understand. He had said he was close to the princes, so he must be a noble. Nobles wear fine clothes and associate closely with other nobles. He must be surrounded by so many more enjoyable things that he would easily forget about the day he had fun with Snow. So it couldn’t be helped.

But she was different. In a life that repeated the same every day, a life without particularly unhappy or sad events but also without particularly joyful or happy ones, that day with him was precious. She still couldn’t forget the sky they had watched together lying on the grass.

For a moment, Snow blinked, thinking she had seen the starry sky of that day. But what filled her eyes in that moment was still the deep sky without stars.

He was gone now. No, even if he existed, he would be in a different world from Snow.

Once, she had been at this window, and he had approached, stepping on the grass. She had called out to him softly, telling him to stop. Then he had looked up at her. And what had he said after that? Snow tried to recall, but couldn’t remember what came next.

At that moment.

“Snow.”

A low, earnest voice penetrated her ears.

Snow slowly, very slowly, lowered her head.

Someone was standing below the second-floor window. It was he who had called her. Snow couldn’t understand.

‘Snow’

The only priest in the temple who knew that name was Arianne.

At that moment, the yellow light of the crescent moon, which had been wrapped in clouds, broke through the murky smoke. The dark, cool night became faintly brighter. Like the moon appearing from behind clouds, the figure standing below the window gradually revealed itself.

The first thing visible was hair of an exquisite color like the rising sun. And those deep black eyes met Snow’s silver gaze head-on. Her snow-white eyelashes trembled slightly.

He looked so similar to someone Snow knew. But he was a bit different. The someone Snow knew didn’t have much of a size difference from her. He was small like her, and his cheeks had a rosy blush. His pretty face made it confusing at first glance whether he was a girl or a boy. His voice was much higher and clear.

But this person was not like that. His build didn’t look anything like Snow’s. His broad shoulders and tall height showed that he was clearly a young man. Though he was someone anyone would consider beautiful, his distinctly raised eyebrow bones and high nose bridge ensured that no one would mistake his gender by accident.

Nevertheless, Snow called out the name of the child she had known. Perhaps it was because of that deep, warm gaze that remained unchanged after several years.

“…El?”

At her words, he smiled as brightly as could be.

Seeing his bright smile that resembled lazy sunlight, she finally realized that he was indeed the very boy from her memories.

“It really is.”

Snow’s lips opened again.

“You really are the El I know.”

Her trembling voice was almost a whisper. It wasn’t because she was afraid of waking someone. Her body had gone so weak that she couldn’t produce a proper voice.