“I’ve lived my entire life in confinement. I’ve rarely gone out properly except to visit the temple like this, and my brother was the only person I could talk to comfortably. When I was younger than I am now, I lived in constant fear of not knowing when I might die. Have you ever wondered if you’ll see tomorrow’s sun after today’s sunset? I thought about that every day.”

Freia spoke as if pleading. Ikanel said nothing.

“I know my illness better than anyone. It’s not something that can be cured. It’s not an illness that gets better with medicine, nor is it one where I’ll suddenly stop breathing if I don’t take medicine. Since meeting you, each day has become new for me. I finally feel alive. I spend every day counting down to when I’ll meet you again.”

“…Listen.”

“Now that I’ve finally started to truly live, don’t take my life away from me.”

Freia finally began to cry steadily.

“Do you think I’m so foolish that I’d force myself out with this sick body for no reason?”

Her voice was somewhat whining. Ikanel asked in a husky voice.

“Then why?”

“Because I… you.”

She couldn’t bring herself to say more after that. Freia looked straight into his eyes. His dark pupils trembled like ripples on a water surface. Evidence that he wasn’t the only one feeling nervous.

“I, I… you.”

She opened her mouth again but got stuck at the same point. Her heart was beating wildly. Freia gave up trying to express her feelings in words. Instead, she moved closer to him. Soon they were close enough that their breaths mingled. Ikanel neither closed his eyes nor stepped back. Freia couldn’t bring herself to look at him directly. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his.

To Freia, who was burning with fever, Ikanel’s lips felt lukewarm and slightly rough. The ticklish feeling was pleasant, but that was all. The sound of their breathing seemed abnormally loud, and her clenched fists trembled with tension.

Why do people want to kiss someone they like if this is what’s supposed to be so wonderful? Freia thought. Her face felt like it would explode with embarrassment. Only then did a sense of reality return. As she hurriedly tried to pull away, Ikanel firmly gripped her shoulders.

Ikanel kissed her more deeply. Freia felt like she was dreaming. She couldn’t tell whether her current dizziness was due to her fever or the kiss.

“Do you know why I, who has no religious faith, came here almost every day to lean against the wall and read books?”

She heard his low whisper.

“It was because I wanted to meet you.”

“I know.”

Ikanel laughed softly at her bold response. Then he kissed her again.

Freia changed her mind. Kissing someone you love is indeed wonderful in itself.

After that day, Ikanel and Freia became lovers.

♣ ♣ ♣

Ikanel Riman Akelan was someone Freia could never define in a single word. A mischievous person who often teased her. An unparalleled friend with whom she shared similar thoughts. A strange man who could appear completely cold but then flare up in anger.

Remarkably, someone who could be infinitely annoying yet infinitely tender. Someone who could be infinitely vexing yet infinitely precious.

That was who he was.

Both of them held important positions, which meant they couldn’t marry just anyone. Nevertheless, they came to consider each other as serious partners. They already cherished each other more than anyone else.

One day, Ikanel suggested with a slightly anxious face that they should reveal their family backgrounds to each other. Freia readily agreed. They already had a serious and genuine relationship. Mere family backgrounds wouldn’t shake their feelings.

Or so she thought.

She was very surprised when she learned about Ikanel’s identity. It was understandable. Judging by his somewhat arrogant attitude, confident demeanor, and extensive knowledge, she had guessed he was a nobleman of high status, but she could never have imagined that he was Prince Ikanel Riman Akelan, heir to the imperial throne. However, after the initial surprise faded, she thought it suited him well.

Freia was fine with it. No, for a very brief moment, she even thought it was fortunate. The daughters of the Nigritia family were traditionally used as offerings to the imperial family, and Freia’s precarious position within the family was due to her weak constitution making her unsuitable for such a role. Even the Duke of Nigritia would face criticism if he pushed a frail, sickly woman as a candidate for the future empress.

But if Ikanel himself loved Freia, the situation would be different. Instead of marrying someone they didn’t love, Freia and Ikanel could spend their lives together, and her father, the Duke of Nigritia, could continue the lineage of “Empress from the Ducal Family” that had been broken when the previous Duke had no daughters.

If she had thought a bit more, she might have realized how Ikanel’s position could become precarious under the weight of the powerful Nigritia family as in-laws. But the intelligent Freia, just for that moment, only thought of what pleased her. Perhaps she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“I don’t care who you are. Ikanel. Ikanel Riman Akelan. I’m happy to know your name.”

Freia said. She smiled. But Ikanel did not.

“What did you say your name was?”

He asked again. As the Crown Prince, he surely knew about the Nigritia Ducal family. Freia pronounced her name clearly once more.

“Freia Nigritia.”

“Freia?”

Ikanel called her name. Freia nodded. It was the first time her name had been spoken from his lips. It felt strange.

“Yes, Ikanel. I am Freia Nigritia.”

Was he thinking the same thing as she was, hearing his name called for the first time? Freia’s heart fluttered. But then Ikanel stepped back a few paces.

“You are the daughter of the Duke of Nigritia?”

Freia finally sensed something was wrong. As she approached him, Ikanel made an agonized expression as if being tortured.

“Ian Nigritia. The brother you’ve spoken of so much is Ian Nigritia.”

Ikanel muttered.

“And your strict father is the Duke of Nigritia.”

“…Ikanel?”

He stepped back a few more steps. Freia called his name, which still felt awkward to her, with an anxious voice. She reached out her hand to him. Ikanel knocked it away. His face contorted as if he was about to cry, and then he suddenly turned around.

“I didn’t care about your status, or your ideology. I would have been fine even if you were a spy sent by a political rival. But.”

Ikanel swallowed and continued. Time seemed to stop.

“Not Nigritia. Anything else would be fine, but not Nigritia.”

Freia knew he was crying. His voice was full of tears as he said that Nigritia was the one thing he couldn’t accept. But he had his back turned, so Freia couldn’t see his face.

“Ikanel, wait.”

“Don’t call my name. You and I have never met. We are strangers to each other.”

It was nonsense. Ikanel moved away as if escaping. He was getting farther away. Freia desperately tried to grab him. Suddenly, her head spun. She staggered and fell forward. Ikanel quickly turned around at the sound of her coughing as if she was about to die. Before she could even take out her handkerchief, bright red blood seeped through Freia’s white fingers as she covered her mouth. Ikanel gritted his teeth and turned away. “Huk, Ikanel. Ikanel!” Freia called out to him desperately, but he never looked back.

Ikanel had certainly loved Freia. But whether he still loved her now was uncertain.

♣ ♣ ♣

The Nigritia Ducal family was facing its most precarious situation since its establishment.

The current Duke deeply hated his father, the previous Duke. Everything was because of him. The previous Duke was the most foolish person among all the dukes in history.

The ducal family had built its power as the imperial family’s in-laws. If there was no woman in the family to become empress, they should have at least behaved prudently. But the previous Duke just ate, drank, and played, squandering the family fortune. Several major families that had followed Nigritia switched their allegiance to the Emperor due to the previous Duke’s stupidity, but he didn’t care. His only concerns were which beauty to bring to his bed for how much money, or how much to bet on gambling.

So the previous Duke’s young son wished that his father would die quickly. He was confident that if he inherited the title, he could put Nigritia back on solid ground.

But the Duke lived disgustingly long. Sixty years. It wasn’t actually that long, but it seemed so from his son’s perspective. He was only able to take the Duke’s position after turning thirty. He had one son with his wife from a political marriage, and after becoming Duke, his wife gave birth to a daughter.

His wife died while giving birth to their daughter. The Duke of Nigritia felt some grief that the woman he had lived with as a spouse had died, but that was all. It didn’t matter much. A daughter had been born, and if he could make his daughter the empress, he could revive the declining ducal family—that thought was stronger.

But a problem arose. His young daughter breathed weakly as if she would die soon. Doctors said she wouldn’t live long. It was the moment when the Duke’s plan to make his daughter the empress fell apart.

He took several concubines, but none of them conceived any more children for the Duke. The Duke tried to find a female relative from a branch family to adopt as his daughter, but ironically, in the entire vast Nigritia Ducal family, Freia was the only female child. It seemed as if God had abandoned the ducal family.