Track 01. He and I Are Childhood Friends (Part 2)

Since it was a weekday, she couldn’t avoid going to work. But perhaps because the storm of emotions had passed, she could face Kanin with a calmer heart than yesterday.  

She greeted Kanin, who was wearing a black uniform for work, with a bright smile.  

“Hello, Kanin.”  

“Hello, Vivi.”  

Because of her fire attribute, she was excused from wearing the uniform in summer. Today, she was the only one in the knight order wearing a light white dress.  

Kanin walked straight over to her. Then he tilted his head to meet her eyes. His deep blue eyes were like a vast sea, revealing nothing of what he was thinking.  

“Are you okay today?”  

“What do you mean?”  

“You seemed a bit out of it yesterday. Was it a cold?”  

At Kanin’s words, she burst into laughter.  

‘What is he saying?’  

“Fire mages don’t catch colds.”  

“But you were really strange yesterday.”  

“Sorry for making you worry.”  

Though she was smiling, her heart ached.  

Despite his stern and cold appearance, his words were kind and made her happy. But today, his kindness made her sad.  

‘This kindness isn’t mine.’  

She had to give up her place beside Kanin and his kindness to the woman Kanin loved.  

‘Kanin worked hard, taking care of me all this time. I can’t interfere with his love life.’  

Thinking that, she took a step back from Kanin. His eyebrows twitched slightly.  

“You……”  

Just then, Vice Commander Linhardt spoke loudly.  

“The Commander has something to say about the upcoming field training. Please take your seats!”  

“Yes!”  

Because mages are individualistic, the knight order operated with a lot of freedom.  

Each person had their own laboratory, and as long as they didn’t go outside, they could stay anywhere freely.  

But there were official tasks, so there was a large meeting room, though seats weren’t assigned.  

Her seat was usually the second row from the front, but today she sat elsewhere. She did it for Kanin.  

‘The woman might be one of our members.’  

It wasn’t just a possibility; it was almost 100% certain. Kanin, being from a ducal family, focused more on living as a mage than on social activities. He spent most of his time in the knight order.  

‘Looking back, we were too close.’  

From the day she met him until now, at twenty-three, she had followed Kanin everywhere. Maybe there were relationships he missed because of her, even if she didn’t realize it.  

‘My stomach feels uneasy.’  

Even though she tried to understand and step back, her stomach ached strangely.  

‘I didn’t even eat breakfast.’  

Thinking it odd, she rubbed her stomach with her palm.  

She sensed someone nearby and looked up to see Kanin.  

“Huh?”  

She made a foolish sound. Kanin naturally pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. She blinked.  

“You’re sitting here?”  

At her question, Kanin’s voice lowered.  

“……Did someone else plan to sit here?”  

“Ah, no.”

There was no way anyone would sit next to her. She was like a ticking time bomb.  

‘I thought Kanin wouldn’t sit next to me anymore.’  

Even though it was a regular occurrence for Kanin to sit next to her, she felt like her hair was standing on end.  

‘Uncomfortable.’  

She hunched her shoulders. But once again, it was only her who was tense, as Kanin sat with his arms crossed, looking straight ahead.  

His clean, pale face, sharp profile, and determined gaze.  

‘To think he sent such a message with such a cold face.’  

She was so shocked that the message came to mind word for word.  

[I want to lick the bright red tip that rises from your soft, peach-like flesh.]  

But thinking about it, it was natural. Kanin was a young man full of energy; he couldn’t be cold even in matters of love.  

‘Kanin had a woman he was in such a relationship with.’  

She tried to imagine Kanin sharing love with another woman but failed. She couldn’t even picture them holding hands.  

She hadn’t considered the obvious fact that Kanin could belong to someone else.  

‘It’s not strange since Kanin is of marriageable age. Some of our peers are already married.’  

She had been so attached to him that she didn’t realize. Kanin was a grown man, and many people were attracted to him.  

But how would those people see her, who always depended on Kanin?  

‘If I were a woman dating Kanin, I wouldn’t like it either.’  

Even if it was just someone who needed help, having a woman constantly by his side would be unpleasant.  

‘I should stop sitting next to Kanin.’  

Just as she made that resolution, Kanin suddenly met her eyes with a sparkle.  

“Why are you acting like this? Did something happen?”

“Ah, no.”

‘Ugh, he noticed I was watching him.’  

She scratched her temple and answered.  

“It’s just… you looked unfamiliar today.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

At her words, Kanin chuckled. It was a slight smile, curving his neat lips just a little.  

Unless someone had watched Kanin for a long time, they wouldn’t even notice it was a smile.  

‘But that woman would know. Because she loves Kanin.’  

Thinking that made her stomach uncomfortable again. She placed her hands on her churning stomach and impulsively asked Kanin,  

“Kanin, are you getting married?”  

At her words, Kanin turned to her again. His deep-set eyes flickered slightly.  

“What’s with the sudden question?”  

“No reason, just curious.”  

“You usually aren’t interested in such things.”  

He lowered his head slightly. His face came closer. The unique sharp scent from him tickled her nose.  

‘Too close. I want to run away.’  

The scent that had made her feel warm and fuzzy now strangely stimulated her.  

In a slightly lowered voice, he murmured,  

“Why did marriage suddenly come to mind?”  

“I told you it just came to mind.”

She couldn’t say it was because of his message, so she turned her head sharply and answered.  

‘He didn’t even tell me he was dating.’  

Her slightly flushed ear tip itched. She rubbed her ear with her index finger and bit her lip.  

How long had she waited for Kanin’s answer? As he sat back upright, he answered in a calm tone.  

“I have no plans.”  

“Liar.”  

“What?”  

She covered her mouth with her palm. The words she meant to keep to herself slipped out.  

“Nothing.”  

Kanin’s message was just one line, but it was filled with passion.  

Kanin, who was always calm and didn’t easily open up, wouldn’t send such a lewd message to a woman he didn’t promise a future with.  

‘But why won’t he tell me?’  

How long had she and Kanin known each other? She thought they were closer than family by now.  

‘Kanin doesn’t want to have serious conversations with me.’  

That was the only reason she could think of. She sighed softly.  

‘I thought he would tell me since we’re childhood friends.’  

Of course, Kanin had his private life, and he didn’t have to tell her everything.  

But somehow, she felt a little disappointed.  

* * *

As Kanin said, the field training location was the southern region. Specifically, the rugged Siskiya Mountains, known to be home to the Red Dragon.  

“Since it’s training, we won’t go deep into the mountains, so don’t worry too much.”  

The Commander said this to reassure them, but it wasn’t as simple as his words.  

‘The ground will be boiling.’  

The mountains, with lava flowing beneath them, were hot enough to give birth to a hot spring city. That was just at the foot of the mountains; deeper inside, the heat was beyond intense.  

‘It’s not called the Red Dragon’s home for nothing.’  

Just thinking about going to such a place was exhausting. Vivian shivered. Just then,  

“Vivi.”  

“Yes?”  

As she was about to stand up, Kanin stopped her.  

“When are you free?”  

“For what?”  

“We should practice together before the training, shouldn’t we?”

“Oh……”  

The hotter the place, the more unstable her magic became. It became more active.  

In such cases, Kanin’s ability to stabilize her was crucial. So they usually had a few days of intensive stabilization before field training.  

No matter how familiar the mana was, it was ultimately someone else’s. Mixing it recklessly was dangerous.  

‘But.’  

Hadn’t she realized she couldn’t be with Kanin forever? Instead of holding his hand, she took a step back.  

“It’s okay.”  

“What?”  

Kanin’s eyes widened at her answer. She forced an awkward smile. Though she didn’t feel like smiling, she forced it, causing her jaw to tremble.  

“It’s okay now. I’ll handle it myself.”  

“Vivi.”  

Kanin reached out to grab her, but she stepped back again, avoiding his hand.  

If she felt comfort by holding his hand now, she feared she wouldn’t be able to part with him again.  

She forced herself to speak in a cheerful voice.  

“I should be able to go on missions without you now. How long are you going to waste time stabilizing my magic, when you’re such a skilled mage?”  

“I never thought it was a waste.”  

“No, it is a waste.”  

As soon as she spoke, tears suddenly welled up.  

‘Yes. I’ve finally realized the truth.’  

She had been using the excuse of making herself comfortable to waste Kanin’s time.  

‘So now I have to get my act together so Kanin can enjoy his own life.’  

She bit her lip hard to keep from crying and clenched her hands into fists. She didn’t want to burden Kanin any longer.  

However, it seemed her awkwardness was evident on her face, as Kanin frowned.  

“Vivi, you’ve been acting strange since earlier……”  

“Vivi!”  

Conveniently, the Commander called her. She waved her hand at Kanin.  

“Oh, the Commander is calling me. Well, take care, Kanin.”  

She forced a smile in front of Kanin, but her face hardened as soon as she turned away. Even though she was just saying she would try her best, why did it hurt so much?  

‘It seems distancing myself was the right choice. If Kanin suddenly said he was getting married, my heart would have dropped.’  

Thinking that, she hurriedly followed the Commander.