18. It’ll Be Soon—I’m Your Husband

“You’ll carry me?”  

At Judy’s question, Theo nodded lightly.  

“Yeah.”  

“It’s not like I’m a kid…….”  

“Since it hurts…… sleeping on your stomach the whole time would be uncomfortable, wouldn’t it?”  

His gaze flicked toward Judy’s backside, then hurriedly shifted elsewhere. It was only the briefest touch of eyes, but it was so embarrassing that her face heated up again. Theo, seeming utterly unaware of how she felt, bent forward and sat, offering his broad, dependable back.  

“Get on.”  

“No. That’s embarrassing.”  

“You used to get on just fine. Sometimes you’d even fall asleep while mumbling.”  

“That was when we were kids. And there are plenty of eyes here.”  

“Where?”  

Theo looked around. Cruelly enough, at this moment there was not even an ant passing through. But whether anyone was watching or not, the embarrassment did not vanish, so Judy gently pushed at Theo’s back. He did not budge. As if he had decided he would absolutely carry her today.  

“And even if someone sees, so what? We’re an engaged couple anyway. They’ll just think, ‘Ah, their marriage is full of affection.’”  

“If we divorce, people will be confused.”  

“Why take your thoughts that far? And why would we have to care whether people are confused?”  

“Well, that’s true, but.”  

When longing for her mother surged without warning like something enormous, it had always been that back—offered so she could lean on it, and soothed. Of course, back then their sizes had been similar, so he could not carry her far; he would soon be breathing hard, drenched in sweat, and she would have to get down quickly.  

But when she remembered the wind that had blown then, and the steady beat of Theo’s heart by her ear, it felt as if all worries disappeared and only peace remained at her side.  

She snapped out of those old memories she had been shoved into when Theo, having reached his limit, grabbed her wrist and tugged.  

“Hey.”  

Before she knew it, Judy was on his back. She patted his shoulder, making a pointless attempt to resist, telling him to put her down. It did not work on him at all.  

“Rest comfortably.”  

It was embarrassing how hard she had refused—his back was still comfortable. Without realizing it, Judy relaxed into him and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.  

“Since it’s come to this, sing too.”  

“……That’s a bit.”  

Maybe he remembered his unimpressive self-composed song—Theo reacted lukewarmly. But to Judy, that song was as good as a lullaby her beloved mother had sung.  

“Flutter-flutter, the butterfly brought spring. It brought spring because it missed our baby…….”  

“…….”  

“Breeze-breeze, the wind brought summer. It brought summer because it missed our baby…….”  

“…….”  

“Rustle-rustle, the fallen leaves brought autumn. It brought autumn because it missed our baby……. But the lyrics are really simple.”  

Judy sang Theo’s lullaby, then chuckled at the meaning. She must have been around nine, old enough not to need a lullaby, but she gladly listened to Theo’s childish lyrics, and Theo worked hard to prepare them for her.

“I guess I just wanted to tell you that your mom is with you in every season. I wanted you to be happy, not sad.”

Thinking that young Theo must have written those lyrics so earnestly to soothe her loneliness and longing, Judy’s throat tightened for no reason, and tears rose.  

“Are you crying?”  

Hearing the sniffle by his ear, Theo stopped for a moment and asked.  

“Ah, I’ve been so tearful lately…”

“…….”  

“I don’t know why.”

Judy buried her face as she spoke. The faint thumping of his heart traveled clearly into her. The little boy who wished for her happiness had grown up to walk beside her through her lonely days, leading her so reliably.

She cried because she was grateful for that. And she cried again because she felt so sorry for that.  

Before she knew it, Theo’s clothes were soaked through with Judy’s hot tears, but he said nothing.  

He simply kept taking slow steps, so that she could rest comfortably.  

***

Carrying the sleeping Judy into the bedroom, Theo felt briefly at a loss and let out a deep sigh through parted lips. As he set down Judy, whose backside hurt, he worried incessantly that he might wake her.  

So he lay down on the bed first, face-down, then carefully slipped Judy’s arms—wrapped tightly around his neck—off to the side, slowly moved, and only then managed to set her down.  

“Hah.”  

He quietly looked down at Judy, sunk into deep sleep on her stomach. Abundant, glossy pink hair, sharp but refreshing features, a highly voluptuous figure.  

This was not the appearance of the person Theo loved. Once Judy’s chattering soul fell asleep, it felt intensely unfamiliar, and it left him uneasy.  

Golden hair that glittered as if reflecting sunlight, blue eyes—slightly drooping—like the deep sea holding a deeper ocean, snow-white skin, small, plump lips full of life. He missed the cute Judy whose features were neat and delicate overall.  

Did she know? In the days when he could only look at her, the moments when he alone had to endure a heart in knots, when his life felt like it was crumbling.  

“Judy.”  

That was why he made a firm decision. The day he met perfect Judy again, he would make it so she could not leave him.  

He would seize this chance to love her—something he had longed for so desperately—and make her love him too, until she could not live without him.  

***

Judy stared at the neatly cleaned sardines with a deeply scrunched expression. It seemed she could not easily let go of her wariness toward unfamiliar things.  

“I’ll do it.”  

Beside Judy, Theo rolled up his sleeves and stepped in. Today was the day they would go to the social gathering at Visountess Yumelia’s invitation, and the two of them stood side by side in the kitchen to make a herring dish that would help ease Visountess Yumelia’s homesickness. Theo casually picked up the herring and sliced it into easy-to-eat pieces.  

Watching him, Judy rolled up her sleeves as well.  

“No. I think it’s better if I do it. If I make a face like this in front of Visountess Yumelia later, it’ll definitely sour her mood.”  

“…….”  

“If I make it myself, I’ll get used to it, so it should be fine.”  

The moment she touched the slippery herring, she was not shocked—its texture was better than she expected. Of course, the fishy smell unique to fish made it unpleasant for her, but it was not unbearable. She took the cleaned herring and added salt and vinegar, raw onion and sugar, and finely chopped pickled cucumber, then put it into bread.  

“You’re pretty good with a knife.”

“Yeah. I could have asked a servant, but I always dreamed of making my husband’s meals myself sometimes.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

When Judy’s eyes went wide, asking what he meant, he said it as if it were nothing.  

“It’ll be soon—I’m your husband.”  

She thought, “I wasn’t planning to do this for a fake husband,” but didn’t say it. There was no need to hurt Theo, who liked her, by making her true feelings clear. Besides, who knew how things would turn out? What if she ended up trapped in Asilly’s body for life, living as his wife, and they actually grew attached……  

“Is it done?”  

“Yeah. It’s done.”  

Judy suddenly felt embarrassed at the word ‘attached’ she had thought to herself, and at Theo’s question, without realizing it, she thr*st the sandwich forward.  

“To taste it?”  

“Huh? Yeah. Taste it.”  

Theo, who Judy thought would take it and eat it himself, took Judy’s hand and pulled it toward his mouth, taking a big bite. Startled by his unexpected touch, Judy flinched instinctively. Along the fingertips that gripped tight once and then released, it felt like a sharp, tingling sensation trailed after.  

The moment he took the first bite, he flinched and stopped chewing, but when he saw Judy—her cheeks now faintly red—staring at him with tense eyes, he began chewing again, slowly.  

Unlike that first bite, his sense of taste adapted to the unfamiliar food. Not that it was delicious enough to praise.  

“It’s not bad. Not good either.”  

Because Theo left such an ambiguous review, Judy hesitated to eat it. But if she wanted to win Countess Yumelia’s heart and somehow gain shared sympathy, she had no choice.  

Judy squeezed her eyes shut tight and took a big bite of the sandwich. She thought the fishy smell would be so strong she might gag, but……  

“Huh? It’s better than I expected?”  

“Right? The first taste is a bit strong, but it gets okay as you eat.”  

“Exactly. The nutty richness unique to herring and the sharpness of the onion go so well together.”  

Feeling awkward at the thought that she had held a needless prejudice against something she did not know, Judy finished eating the sandwich in her hands. After that, she also neatly packed the sandwiches she would give to Countess Yumelia.  

All the while forcing herself to ignore the fever and sticky sweat that came with her changing feelings.