That Night, The Beast Unfailingly Sought Me Out

A bitter smile formed on Belita’s face as she looked out the window, reminiscing about the past. The memory still made her heart ache.

“I was unknowingly hurt many times and had no feelings for His Grace. He always maintained a boundary, and I had to linger outside that line. It was always uncomfortable. But Crazy Rian was different.”

Font let out a chuckle at the term “Crazy Rian” coming from Belita’s mouth. He seemed to agree.

“At first, I was really scared. He looked like he would devour me. And the fact that he transformed every time it thundered made him seem like a monster. But he made me feel various emotions. He was always self-centered and forceful, but he was the first nobleman to protect me, and he completely revealed his inner feelings. I think I had many thoughts while talking with him. And strangely, in front of Crazy Rian, different sides of myself would pop out too.”

“So that’s why you only think of the crazy one.”

“At first, I felt a bit sorry for His Grace’s personality. For some reason, I couldn’t show my true self in front of that personality. I felt like I had to be a proper Grand Duchess by his side. But at some point, His Grace started changing like Crazy Rian. And Crazy Rian started changing like His Grace.”

For the first time, a smile spread across Belita’s face as she thought of Rian.

“That’s when I realized that both personalities were that man, both aspects of Rian’s character. After that, it became meaningless to separate the two.”

“It seems you understand Rian’s psychology better than I do now.”

“Somehow, I think if Rian woke up with a single personality, the two personalities would have mixed appropriately. I saw them compromising with each other towards the end. Of course, it would be nice if only the good traits mixed.”

“I’m even more curious now. Which one woke up? Are they still two? Or maybe three?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. The most important thing to me is that he woke up.”

Belita’s face, smiling gently and speaking calmly, was clearly that of someone in love. Her sparkling pink eyes were as beautiful as spring flower petals. Seeing her brave appearance, Font felt envious of Rian but also hoped for his happiness. He wished his friend would forget the past and truly live a happy life from now on.

After getting off the carriage, Belita ran without stopping and caught her breath in front of the door where Rian was. Font, who had run along with her, panted and grumbled.

“How can you run so fast? Huff, huff….”

“Hoo…. I built up my stamina while training for the territorial war. I might have needed to run away with the child if necessary.”

“My, you didn’t trust the knights?”

“Think of it as preparing for contingencies. Hoo…! Shall we go in?”

“Somehow I feel more nervous than His Grace.”

Belita’s heart was racing too wildly to respond to Font’s last remark. Trying to calm her flushed face, she carefully opened the door. The moment her eyes met Rian’s, who was sitting up against the bed, her heart sank.

A moment of silence passed as their gazes remained fixed on each other. Unable to hold back, tears streamed down her face again. She quickly wiped them away and called his name cautiously.

“R-Rian…?”

As she struggled to call his name, the expressionless man who had been staring intensely at her reached out his hand. Belita hesitantly stepped forward, grasped her husband’s hand whom she hadn’t seen for so long, and asked with a trembling voice.

“Do, do you know who I am?”

Despite her anxious voice, Rian just stared at her blankly without any expression or response. She became frightened, wondering if he really didn’t recognize her. Her chest ached at the thought that she might be part of the past memories he wanted to erase, as Font had suggested. Eventually, tears flowed ceaselessly, and she bit her lip hard, trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to burst out.

“Rian? Are you okay? Do you recognize who I am?”

Font, who had followed her in, worriedly asked about Rian’s concerning state. He soon stuck out his tongue at the voice he heard.

“You, get out.”

“What?”

“I’m in a hurry, so get out.”

“……Ha, Her Grace’s wish came true—the crazy one came out.”

“Rian?”

Font, immediately understanding Rian’s meaning, grumbled but left the room with a smile. Bewildered by the situation, Belita stared intently at Rian’s face, trying to determine which personality he was.

“Belita.”

“Huh, Crazy Rian, ah, no. Is it Rian?”

Having talked about “Crazy Rian” with Font the entire way, Belita was flustered by her own slip of the tongue. She shook her head and pulled herself together. Then she looked back and forth between his bright yellow eyes, waiting for his answer.

No matter how she looked at him, he felt like Crazy Rian. Or perhaps both personalities still coexisted?

“Which one do you want me to be?”

“W-want? I just….”

“Tell me which personality you prefer from the two you’ve seen. I’ll live as that one for you.”

“What? No, no…. That’s not it….”

His words snapped her back to reality. Why had she been trying to determine who he was? She had just said it didn’t matter who he was. She should have first said she was glad he woke up and thanked him for protecting her, but she felt sorry for focusing only on which personality he was.

As her head began to droop with self-reproach

“I’m sorry.”

A tender, moist voice settled in her ear.

“……What?”

Her drooping head rose again at the man’s unexpected apology when she was the one who should be sorry. Belita looked up at him with blinking, tear-filled eyes, confused by his apology.

He gently embraced her and exhaled a deep breath. At that moment, the tears that had briefly stopped started flowing again. Whether from joy or from the warmth of his embrace, she didn’t know. Tears flowed endlessly as if her tear ducts were broken.

“I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

Ah…. At his words, a hot emotion welled up from within her chest.

“I’m sorry for making you give birth to our child alone when you must have been scared.”

“Sob.”

Because his words were so warm.

“I’m sorry for leaving such a heavy burden to you alone while I just slept.”

“Sob sob.“

Because his words comforted her.

“And thank you. For staying safe, for protecting our child, for enduring everything so bravely.”

“Sob sob sob…! Waaah…!”

His final sincerity finally made her burst into the sorrow she had been holding back.

She wanted to cry so many times, but she endured it. But now, feeling that he understood her feelings, the sorrow in her heart burst forth like a breaking dam.

When she gave birth to their child alone, she was truly scared and struggled. What hurt the most was not having anyone by her side to hold her hand. While preparing for the territorial war, she was always anxious. She was scared and afraid, wondering if she was doing well, if she might lose all these people. But when Rian soothed all of that, she felt as if all the sorrow and anxiety she had kept bottled up were being swept away.

So she released the resentment she had been holding back. It was perhaps the first genuine feeling she had ever conveyed to him.

“You’re bad, why did you sleep so long. Sob sob, I was, sob, so scared, sob sob, that you wouldn’t wake up, do you, sob, know!? Hic….”

“Yes, you worked hard. I’ll make up for all the heartache I caused you. I’ll do everything you ask. So stop crying now. How does a woman tear a person’s heart like this just by crying.”

Strangely, when Belita cried, it felt like his heart was being cut. So whenever she cried, he deliberately teased her. Because seeing her angry was better than seeing her crying sorrowfully.

Rian tightly embraced her as she sobbed. He was proud of how she had accomplished so much with her small, delicate body. He kept stroking her head and back while smiling bitterly.

“Sob sob, compared to how you tore my heart, this is nothing! Waaah…!”

“Aiyoo, you’re such a baby. I guess I’ll have to raise two children.”

“Wh-what did you say!? Look who’s talking!”

As expected, the quick-witted Belita glared at him and snapped back.

How cute.

Rian’s lips curled with mischief at Belita’s predictable reaction.

“Pfft, why have you become such a wild filly? Who made my wife like this?”

“You! You did this! I became like this because of you! Waaah!”

She pounded his chest and even spoke informally, looking especially adorable today. Yet his heart still ached. She could have hit him harder. That would have made him feel less guilty.

But Rian couldn’t stop teasing her despite seeing her tantrum after so long.

“Are you seducing me again? My muscles may have atrophied so I can’t walk, but I’m not paralyzed down there. Above all, my c*ck wasn’t injured at all. I’m already like this—can you handle it?”

“Gasp!”

Belita’s crying stopped abruptly at his sinister voice whispering in her ear. She felt something hard against her hand as he guided it. Though she was still sniffling from her unresolved sorrow, she squirmed, trying to escape his embrace.

But Rian refused to let her go. Instead, he pulled her firmly by the waist and settled her onto his thigh, making his intentions clear. Trapped facing Rian, Belita twisted her body with startled eyes, trying to get off his leg.