“Was I that strange?”

“You asked so many questions.”

Then, as if a memory had come back, Yun-seo shook her head vigorously.

“At one point, when you asked what democracy was, I thought you were a time traveler from the past. You even forgot how to use a cell phone—isn’t that something your body remembers? Or is it something you do with your head?”

Yun-seo rolled her eyes in confusion.

“But it’s all fine now that you’ve woken up. If you have any questions, just ask anytime. And sis, if you ever felt hurt by me, forget it all. I’ll really be good to you from now on. I was so scared thinking I might lose you.”

As Yun-seo started to sniffle again, she stroked her grown sister’s head for the first time in a long while.

“Thank you, Yun-seo.”

After Yun-seo fell asleep on the guardian’s bed, she carefully got up, walked to the window, and looked at the sky.

A bright full moon had risen, flaunting its radiant light.

Seeing the same moon she had seen when she left, tears that she had been holding back began to flow like a broken dam.

She missed Charte so much and longed for him.

She had endlessly brainwashed herself that she was fine, but she wasn’t fine at all.

She sat down and cried endlessly, stifling her sobs.

After being discharged, her family was busy taking care of her at home.

It was no less enviable than her time as empress.

After resting for a few days, her mom quietly called her.

“Yun-ah, you’re currently on leave from work, but I think it would be fine if you quit.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I want to work.”

“Your body hasn’t fully recovered yet. I’m too worried that something might happen to you again. I can’t bear it if you’re not in my sight.”

“I hate that idea. Do you know how much I wanted to get a job? I never want to be unemployed again, Mom. And I’ll be fine now. I’ll be careful too. I won’t cause you such worry again.”

Her soul had properly returned, and her body was already fully recovered.

Her mom continued to look reluctant, so she spoke again.

“I want to live diligently. Not wasting my life. And I need to live well.”

Because I promised him.

I need to live diligently with gratitude for everything I’m given, whether it’s work or anything else.

That’s what living well means, right?

My happiness.

And right now, I’m in too much pain because I think of him all the time.

I can’t bear being alone, so I want to work to feel even a little better.

She wanted to add these words but couldn’t say them aloud, so she only repeated them in her mind.

She really wanted to work.

During the day, she could somewhat endure because she was with other people, but when night came, she couldn’t bear thinking about Charte.

She missed him, longed for him, and worried about him.

Imagining Charte being lonely by himself made her feel as if her entire body was being torn apart.

Not having confidence to continue with this pain, she wanted to work and exhaust her body.

Looking at her mom’s still worried face, she felt she was still a selfish daughter.

Even now, she was making choices for herself, to endure life without Charte, rather than considering her mom’s concerns.

Charte, I miss you. Are you doing well?

* * *

It was her first day back at work after the accident.

In the unfamiliar environment, she could feel tension and trembling enveloping her entire body after a long time.

There was more to learn than she had expected, so she was overwhelmed, and adapting to her first social life was quite difficult.

Her daily routine became going to work, working, voluntarily staying late, and then returning home to collapse in exhaustion and sleep.

Somehow, she endured day by day, and before she knew it, half a year had passed.

As time flowed and she seemed to have adapted somewhat, sleepless nights began again.

Despite being tired and exhausted, she couldn’t fall asleep.

Having experienced it herself, she now understood why Charte had been unable to sleep.

Whenever she was alone, she was completely dominated by thoughts of Charte.

She still couldn’t believe that she would never see him again.

She gradually withered away from the pain she couldn’t share with anyone, and her family worried that her accident had left severe aftereffects.

She pretended to be fine for her family’s sake, but it was difficult.

Her only consolation was that Charte’s time moved faster than hers.

Though she was still struggling because time passed slowly here, she hoped that Charte, who had experienced more time, might be suffering less by now. That was her only support.

Even if she was suffering, she hoped Charte wasn’t.

Things had improved slightly compared to when she first returned.

Perhaps if she endured long enough, it would get better.

Still, occasionally, a profound loneliness would visit her, making her shiver and cry.

“What a cruel person you are, you could at least appear in my dreams. Acting all high and mighty, just like an emperor.”

On days when she missed Charte terribly, she wanted to see him even if only in dreams.

She wanted to look into Charte’s eyes in her dreams, touch his face, embrace him, and share his warmth.

A disappointed sigh escaped her at the things she couldn’t control.

She really needed to bury it all as memories now and live well as promised, but she felt pathetic for seemingly making no progress.

Before returning, she had confidently told Charte she would date and live happily, but she couldn’t even keep the words that had come from her own mouth.

At this rate, her time as the magnificent empress would disappear without a trace, and she would return to the crumpled, shriveled life she had led as a job seeker.

The confidence and self-esteem she had gained in the empire were disappearing day by day.

When alone, her mind was always cluttered with countless thoughts.

The time she spent working was the most comfortable.

As she was returning from lunch with her department colleagues as usual, a senior colleague she was close with carefully broached a subject.

“Yun-ah, would you like to go on a blind date?”

“A blind date? I’m not interested.”

“He’s really great, that’s why. If he weren’t already married, I’d want to meet him myself. He’s my brother’s friend, and I feel bad setting him up with someone I don’t know.”

“I’m fine. Please set someone else up.”

Her senior persistently urged her to meet him, and finally resorted to a last measure.

“Actually, I recently broke up with my boyfriend, so I’m really not interested right now.”

“Then you should go out even more. People forget people with other people. People are better medicine than time. Why wait painfully for time to pass when you could take a quick, effective remedy? This time is precious in your life too, and you shouldn’t waste it on someone who isn’t meant for you. Usually when the crappy car leaves, a Mercedes arrives.”

She couldn’t help but laugh.

Could she meet someone better than Charte?

She couldn’t even imagine what kind of man she would have to meet to consider Charte a “crappy car.”

“At times like this, you should go out on weekends. Staying home makes you more depressed and makes you think about him more, which makes it harder.”

She hesitated to answer because she felt bad continuing to refuse when her senior was thinking of her, and taking her hesitation as wavering, her senior encouraged her again.

“He’s really a good person. How about meeting him once without pressure and then deciding?”

In the end, she nodded reluctantly.

To be honest, she was afraid of being alone on the weekend and needed a way to pass the time.

* * *

As she was putting on makeup to go on the blind date, she remembered the toilette from the empire.

She used to always dress up before meeting Charte.

Seeing how thoughts of Charte came to her from the very start, she knew it would be another difficult day.

But if she could shake off thoughts of Charte even for a moment, that would be enough.

She entered the cafe where they had agreed to meet and looked around.

There were many men of similar age sitting around, and just as she was thinking she might need to call, she made eye contact with a man of decent appearance and neat attire who stood up.

As her senior had said, his first impression seemed good.

If she had met him while living an ordinary life, she would probably have liked him.

“Are you Jo Yun-ah? I’m Park Ji-hoon.”

After awkwardly exchanging greetings, they drank coffee.

The man called Park Ji-hoon seemed to have a friendly personality and quickly began to lead the conversation.

“Would you like to go for a meal?”

“Yes.”

He opened and closed the car door for her, and at the restaurant, he pulled out her chair and showed a lot of consideration.

He also attentively took care of everything needed during the meal.

He seemed deeply considerate and warm.

Though it was strange that he occasionally showed glimpses of loneliness.

After the meal, Ji-hoon drove her home.

“Next week, there’s a movie coming out with an actor you like. Would you like to go see it together?”

They say people forget people with other people, but throughout the time she spent with him, she was in pain thinking of Charte.

If it were Charte, he would have done this in this situation.

Thoughts of “if it were Charte” and “if he were Charte” endlessly tormented her.

She felt this wasn’t fair to the other person.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Yun-ah, actually, I was hesitant about coming out today too, but I decided to come after hearing about you.”

“What?”

“People around me have been pestering me for months, saying they can’t stand seeing me moping anymore. After rejecting everyone, I thought that if it were you, you might understand these feelings I can’t tell others. I also thought I might be able to comfort you.”

Now she understood why this person’s eyes looked so lonely.

“How about we become friends who can meet without pressure and have meals together? I felt much better today than being alone. Let’s just be comfortable friends.”

She was tempted but still thought she should refuse, when he quickly spoke again.

“Next time, I think we could talk about what we most want to say but can’t tell others. What do you think?”

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind.

Perhaps she could talk about her love to someone who wouldn’t cross the line of an appropriate relationship…

She found herself nodding, thinking that while she couldn’t tell close friends, she might be able to talk to this person who was in a similar situation.

“Then let’s meet next weekend, Yun-ah.”

“Yes. Take care on your way back.”

Though she had hesitated at first, before she knew it, she had become someone who naturally met Ji-hoon on weekends to share drinks.

We talked about past loves that we could no longer discuss with others.

Some days we cried, some days we cursed, some days we resigned ourselves, and some days we wished them happiness.

We were in the process of breaking up together.

She was enduring by telling Ji-hoon things she couldn’t tell her family or close friends.

It was much better than suffering in silence without telling anyone.

Perhaps because she could unburden her heart that had been aching silently like a mute with a cold furnace, she could sleep on days when she met Ji-hoon.

So she continued to meet Ji-hoon to survive.

Ji-hoon said he had been suddenly rejected when his girlfriend of eight years decided to marry a man with better circumstances.

Moreover, he later found out she had been two-timing for six months.

“I hate her, I hate her to death, but I can’t hate her. I feel like it’s my fault for being incompetent and not treating her well enough, so she left, and it all seems like my fault. Ye-rin was really a good person.”

Coincidentally, her name was also Ye-rin, so the feeling was somewhat similar in various ways.

Hearing Ji-hoon’s story made her think of Charte again.

Though only Charte didn’t know, Yasrin’s affairs had also continued for quite a long time, they said.

She had secretly met with nobles and knights from the empire and kingdoms.

The closest confidants in the empress’s palace knew about it, but the emperor loved the empress too deeply to believe it, and they were too afraid of Yasrin to bring it up carelessly.

Like Charte, Ji-hoon also seemed to be either quite insensitive when in love or someone who trusted as deeply as he loved.

And as if he had received harsh training from his ex-girlfriend, his consideration and care were excellent.

The more she met Ji-hoon, the more she found similarities with Charte, which made her feel a sense of familiarity.

Ji-hoon and she had been meeting every weekend for three months, acting out without getting tired of it.

Sometimes they would scold each other for being pathetic, but it was a comforting time.

Ji-hoon, who had a lower alcohol tolerance than her, was slightly tipsy and kept smiling brightly.

He was truly a good person, so it seemed better that he had broken up with someone who didn’t recognize his value.

She hoped he would meet someone who would appreciate Ji-hoon’s worth.