Chapter 5

Alberto realized the moment he finished speaking that he had just said something foolish. As if she could be buried somewhere in the lost corners of his memory. She was a woman who had lived cut off from the world ever since her accident.

The strange thing was that he couldn’t control his emotions the way he usually did. Asking her and then reacting as if he were angry was an overreaction. He admitted it—he was acting like a jealous man. He recognized that much.

It was ridiculous. There hadn’t been a shred of emotion in his decision to choose Rabiana. Yet, from the moment he saw her, his heart had begun to stir in inexplicable ways.

“…I see. I figured you’d say that.”

As conflicting logic and emotions clashed, Alberto’s mouth wouldn’t stop. He was desperate to deny everything. That was the rational thing to do. How long had they even known each other? Why should it matter what a woman he didn’t even love did?

“Don’t get the wrong idea. Everything we do is for the sake of producing an heir.”

Rabiana clenched her hand. Right. It was all for the heir. His apparent desperation—maybe it had just been her delusion.

Rabiana took a deep breath. At some point, her dress had fallen to the floor.

The gaze pouring over her stiff body was persistent. She didn’t know what to do under the eyes that scanned her thoroughly.

Even without sight, she could feel it. Alberto’s gaze touched her rounded shoulders, the collarbone raised with tension, and the hands clutching the blanket.

How long is he going to just stare?

It was strange that Alberto wasn’t doing anything. It was frightening and somehow made the tension worse.

Rabiana raised her arms and subtly covered her chest. She had never seen her own body. Was it hideous…? Maybe it was so repulsive he didn’t even want to touch it. The heat that had risen to her face seemed to grow hotter.

“D-Duke…”

“Yes.”

“Um, could I… have one more drink?”

It was better for her mind and body to just drink and pass out. Alberto touched Rabiana’s cheek. Her body flinched and stiffened, burning hot.

“If you drink more, you’ll pass out.”

“……”

“What? Can’t do it sober?”

Alberto brushed his thumb over Rabiana’s lips. His secretive caress set her abdomen aflame. Just as he said, even with what seemed to be the right amount of alcohol, that small gesture alone was already too much for her to handle.

“Hnng…….”

His thumb pressed firmly on the center of her lips, parting them. Just as it seemed like his hand would enter the slightly opened space, it withdrew.

As soon as Rabiana gasped sharply, Alberto’s lips pressed against hers. Hup. Rabiana held her breath. His hot, soft flesh was biting into her upper lip.

“Uh, mm….”

Rabiana barely parted her lips. Instinctively, she clutched at his shirt.

Alberto undressed Rabiana with practiced ease, not a trace of hesitation in his movements. The shirt crumpled in a spiral beneath his hands.

It was the first time.

The first time she had ever touched someone this deeply.

It was gentle, yet so intense she couldn’t breathe.

“Haah. Ha…”

Rabiana turned her head to the side. She couldn’t breathe. Alberto trailed kisses down her jawline as she gasped erratically. He sucked deeply on the pulse thudding wildly in her neck.

“Ah!”

He didn’t leave Rabiana alone. Like a beast devouring her neck, yet his hands gently caressed her. The hand that grabbed and released her soft flesh was burning hot.

Rabiana trembled and covered her mouth as if jolted. Strange sounds kept escaping. She was embarrassed by the nasal moans she had never made before. Noticing her, Alberto caught her hand and pulled it away.

“Don’t stop yourself.”

“…But…”

“Shouldn’t I at least know how to hold a woman?”

Alberto pressed down on Rabiana’s wrist. With her hand restrained by him, she couldn’t cover her mouth anymore.

Instead, she clenched her teeth.

Sorry to Alberto, but Rabiana simply couldn’t do as he wanted.

Alberto’s head moved beneath her chin. Hot… damp sensations wrapped around her skin.

His hand, which had tormented her until her skin deepened in color, stroked her belly. The way his hand circled around her navel tickled.

Rabiana couldn’t push him away. He grabbed and released her thigh. The intense, surging heat left Rabiana unable to keep herself steady.

She clutched his arm, digging her neat nails into him.

It was unfamiliar and frightening. Not even knowing what exactly scared her, Rabiana panted with fear. Alberto, who grasped her jaw, kissed her.

The moment they were connected felt strange. It was overwhelming and difficult, and she wanted to run. Alberto bound her wrists so she couldn’t escape and covered her lips.

Creak, creak.

The bed shook violently.

“Why.”

Alberto’s brows furrowed as he pulled back. He wiped the corner of Rabiana’s eye with his fingers. Wet tears came away. She was crying.

“You didn’t expect even this?”

“…Hmph.”

“How were you planning to deal with that old man then.”

He wasn’t the type to go soft over a woman’s tears.

A marriage with a clear goal. He had no need to hesitate for his objective. He had no intention of stopping. He hadn’t expected anything, but Rabiana was surprisingly…

“I’m not stopping. I’m not done.”

He drove in deeply, holding her waist. Any guilt that weighed on his chest had already scattered into pleasure.

Still, he could at least show some consideration to Rabiana, who had been caught off guard, knowing nothing.

Alberto caressed her gently. Rabiana’s back arched as she shook her head.

“That’s not, no, just a little slower…..”

Rabiana was just a little scared. She had no intention of avoiding their marital duty. Already drained, she whispered. Still, breathing had become a little easier than before.

“If that’s all it was, you should’ve said so earlier.”

She could feel Alberto’s solid muscles. Rabiana fumbled over his arm.

Alberto, his breath ragged, had taken off his shirt moments ago. She held tightly onto his arm for support. She had to cling to something if she didn’t want to be swept away by the waves.

Her body, which had felt like it might break, seemed to be adjusting—it wasn’t as difficult as before.

It felt strange. She couldn’t believe she was doing something so intimate with a man she had just met. The unknown fear vanished whenever Alberto kissed her gently.

She didn’t dislike it. Rather, she clung to the tingling sensations that made her downy hairs stand on end.

He moved forward like someone diving deep underwater, gasping for breath. Alberto seemed like someone who only knew how to go straight. Her body, twitching beneath him, couldn’t escape.

Until now, Alberto had never had any interest in a woman’s body. He had never felt aroused. But then why… Rabiana held him tightly. Like a spider’s web. It made him let his guard down, only to swallow him whole from head to toe in an instant.

Alberto clenched his teeth, trying to shake off the thought.

This damn woman.

She was just a disposable tool for reproduction.

Erasing the cold sense of discomfort that spread through him, he clung to her. The night was growing deeper.

***

‘Well, if you close your eyes, you can feel better. You try it too. Close them and touch me.’

Rabiana was tracing the face of Vel, the stable keeper’s son. Despite being young, the features she felt at her fingertips were large and pronounced.

In truth, Rabiana wanted to open her eyes and look at Vel’s face as she touched it. But it was too embarrassing, and she feared that if they met eyes while she touched his face, Vel might realize how she felt—so she made up a strange excuse.

Thick eyebrows for such a young boy. A prominent nose bridge. She traced his long, stretched-out eyes over and over again.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget your face, Vel.”

Even if that face she carved with her eyes and hands changed someday, she was sure she’d recognize it. Young Rabiana, not knowing what the future held, had declared it so confidently.

***

Rabiana’s body, after the first night, felt as heavy as a water-soaked cotton. Blinking blankly as she awoke, she stared into space.

She had dreamed of that boy again. Unlike the past when she had confidently declared she would never forget him, his face was gradually fading from her memory.

Memories of the past stirred up gloom. The vivid physical pain she felt upon opening her eyes wouldn’t allow her to simply groan. She just wanted to fall asleep again.

She wanted to dream that dream again. No—she wanted to return to that time.

To when she could see, to when that boy was still alive…

‘Vel, Lawrence, the three of us will always be together.’