“No!”

Helia screamed, her voice piercing the chaos, but the *ssault did not relent. Each arrow that struck Ruben sent a jolt through his body, and the force was transmitted to Helia beneath him. It was a horrifying sensation.

No nightmare could be as terrible as this. Not even when you turned your back on me did I feel such terror. 

With trembling hands, Helia turned Ruben’s face toward her. His eyelids fluttered, struggling to stay open. The hands that clung to her with all their strength—those same hands that had hesitated to even brush against her not long ago—were now holding her as if seeking salvation. And it terrified her. Those hands seemed to signal the end.

“Stay with me, Ruben. Please.”

Ruben could feel the warmth beneath his fingertips growing fainter. Panic surged within him as he wondered if something had happened to her. He tried to move his hand, but it wouldn’t respond. It seemed he had lost all sensation in the hand that clung to her. Relief followed. It wasn’t her warmth fading; the problem lay with him.

“This can’t be it. Ruben, if you die, I won’t forgive you. I mean it. So, open your eyes!”

Helia’s words spilled out in a frenzied murmur. Ruben wanted to respond, but blood filled his throat, choking any words that might have escaped. It seemed he would leave this world without saying a single thing.

A whirlwind of emotions brushed past him, leaving behind only regret. His impending death didn’t trouble him; he had made peace with it. Though it came sooner than expected, dying to protect her was the ending he had always wanted. But he knew the agony left behind for those who remained. He knew what it felt like to sit desolate on barren ground, unable to move despite willing himself to. He hoped Helia wouldn’t feel such pain for him. He wished she wouldn’t miss him too much. He hoped he wouldn’t leave too deep a wound.

“Your Highness!“

“Your Grace!”

Distant voices echoed, calling for them. As they did, Ruben’s eyes shut for the last time. Helia’s scream tore through the night sky, shattering its mournful silence.

***

“Your Highness, you’ve arrived.”

“How is the Duke?“

“He has not yet awakened.”

Helia gave a curt nod and stepped into the room. The physicians attending Ruben quickly withdrew upon noticing her presence. She approached the bed where Ruben lay. Silence filled the room once everyone else had left.

It had been a week since Ruben fell. Thanks to Lette’s healing magic, his wounds had been mended, but he had already lost too much blood. While several knights who had collapsed alongside him—including some of his most loyal guards—were now back on their feet, only Ruben remained unconscious. He was immediately returned to the duchy, where the family physician examined him. “If he doesn’t wake soon, you should prepare for the worst,“ the doctor had said somberly.

Helia had spent sleepless nights at his bedside. By the following day, however, she resumed her duties. A pivotal moment in their cause loomed ahead. The royal family of Baileys was already mobilizing their forces, and Xeroth had requested reinforcements from nobles across the land. Uncertain who among them supported the revolution, Helia instructed their allies to feign compliance and delay deploying troops, buying precious time. It was a strategic move to disrupt Xeroth’s preparations before launching a decisive blow. Yet, no matter how practical, waiting for Ruben to awaken was a luxury they could not afford.

Even so, the revolutionaries were disheartened. Ruben had been their guiding force, their commander. Without him, their morale waned, and their movements faltered like a ship adrift without direction. But no one voiced such concerns aloud. Helia, who should have been most devastated, carried on without hesitation. She donned her usual air of regal dignity like armor, issuing orders and leading as though unaffected. Thanks to her unwavering resolve, the preparations for the coronation ceremony, scheduled for the next day, proceeded without a hitch. Those paralyzed by grief found themselves spurred to action under her command.

For an entire week, Helia had not returned to Ruben’s side. Her responsibilities consumed her, and she maintained a strict routine, eating and sleeping at regular intervals. She understood that in times of crisis, a leader must remain steadfast. How could others trust an unstable ruler? She saw this as an opportunity to show her resilience.

Many who watched her drew strength from her fortitude, reaffirming their resolve in adversity. Helia’s ability to inspire confidence solidified her role as a true leader.

However, as she walks down the street, her vision suddenly darkens. While eating, she suddenly feels short of breath, and in the middle of receiving a report, a ringing noise pierces her ears. One moment, she’s okay; the next, she’s not. Of course, these moments are fleeting. Soon, she walked again, chewing her food and giving instructions. And yet, in each of those fleeting moments, she plunges into the depths of hell.

Will this be how I long for you from now on? Facing hell in my daily life, only to be pulled back to it as I try to carry on. Not that I would give up on life or abandon myself, of course. I will live well and surely build the future we dreamed of. Even so, the tomorrow that comes every day feels a bit overwhelming.

“Ruben…”

Helia murmured his name softly as if reciting a poem. Ruben, who lay with his eyes closed, did not respond. Gently, Helia reached out and brushed aside the hair resting on his forehead. His soft strands tangled lightly around her fingers. The warmth of his forehead, faint but clear, lingered against her touch.

What stubborn pride had driven me to such reckless bravery? I always knew your face, twisted with guilt, as you reached for me with hands that could never quite reach. And yet, I pretended not to notice. Because I, too, didn’t know how to pull at the taut string stretched between us. Even knowing you were clinging desperately to the end of that thread, I hesitated, afraid your hands might hurt if I tugged too hard. But now, looking back, none of that mattered. None of it had any meaning at all. Ruben, without you—

Will I ever forget this loss?

“……”

It was then. Beneath the smooth line of the forehead she had been stroking, his eyelashes quivered like delicate blades of grass trembling under the weight of dew. Startled, Helia opened her eyes wide, wondering if she had imagined it. The muscles around his eyebrows twitched, and then his brows furrowed deeply. Helia’s gaze darted downward. His fingers, which had been motionless like dead wood, twitched slightly.

“Ruben!”

Helia cried out. As if in response, Ruben’s eyelids slowly and laboriously opened. Helia covered her mouth with both hands, unable to believe the miracle unfolding before her. When his green eyes, wandering aimlessly, finally focused on her, Ruben spoke.

“Are you… hurt?”

Even now, she felt a surge of anger toward him for worrying about her. You’re the one who’s hurt, you fool. If she could have spoken, she indeed would have said that. But her voice choked with emotion, refused to come out.

Instead, she shook her head, trying to reassure him. Perhaps too reassured by her gesture, Ruben’s eyes began to close again, a satisfied expression crossing his face. Alarmed, Helia quickly called for the physician.

“Physician!”

The people waiting anxiously outside the room burst in at her call. Those worried about Ruben crowded in, with the physician at the forefront. Ikael, who had been frozen in fear that Ruben might have passed away, and Enoch, whose face had turned pale, hurried in after them. The room erupted into chaos.

Thanks to the healing magic poured in by Lette and Vivian, Ruben’s condition was relatively stable. He soon moved quickly, but the astonished physician forced him to lie again, insisting on absolute rest. At the physician’s stern orders, everyone reluctantly left the room, essentially being shooed out. Even Helia was advised to rest, but she silently shook her head. Unable to insist further, the physician left her behind and closed the door.

As soon as the door closed, Helia spun around to face Ruben. Unable to stay still, he had already propped himself up and sat on the bed’s edge.

“Have I been lying here long?“

“A week.”