Chapter 17: The Informant (2)

I stood and walked away from him without looking back. Only after stepping fully into the room and hearing the door click shut behind me did I collapse in front of it.

‘…No. That’s not true. I need you.’

Not even tears would come anymore. Like a broken doll, I repeated it over and over again.

I need you.

I need you.

I need you…

I must have cried myself to sleep. The sound of knocking roused me from a dazed slumber.

Peering out the window, I saw the sky was still dark—dawn had yet to break. My fingers froze on the door handle, hesitating.

“…It’s still early… Who is it?”

A wave of fear washed over me. What if it was Lucio on the other side?

Clutching the locked doorknob tightly, I shouted,

“Alicia.”

The gentle voice beyond the door melted the tension that had gripped my heart. And yet… I couldn’t allow myself to simply welcome him with open arms.

“What brings you here at this hour? Today isn’t even the day for the Prayer Mass, is it? If it’s not urgent, please just go back.”

“…There’s been a summons from the Central Temple. I’m afraid we need to leave immediately.”

“And since when do you report that sort of thing to me? You usually just come and go as you please.”

It was exhausting to force that curt tone into my voice. Deep down, my heart was screaming—not to make him hate me.

“…The thing is, you need to come with me this time.”

At Father Edwin’s words, I instinctively pulled the doorknob. Beneath the pale moonlight, he stood there—his eyes swollen and red like a startled rabbit.

“I have to come with you?”

It wasn’t unusual for priests from the monasteries to be summoned to the Central Temple. Edwin and Daniel went back and forth as routinely as eating meals.

But only ordained priests were permitted to attend meetings at the Central Temple. I was just a humble nun—there should be no reason for me to be summoned as well.

“It’s nothing serious, so don’t worry. Even if there is some trouble, I’ll take care of it. You only need to stay close to me.”

If it were truly nothing, would they have summoned even someone like me? A creeping sense of dread began to stir.

“Are we the only ones who’ve been summoned?”

“They’ve called in all clergy who attended the Prayer Mass. So… yes, there’s one more.”

Lucio—just the thought of his eerie violet eyes brought a string of unpleasant, impossible imaginings to mind.

No. That can’t be. Lucio promised, didn’t he? As long as I obeyed, he swore he wouldn’t lay a hand on Father Edwin.

“Don’t worry about anything.”

Father Edwin’s large hand came down gently on my head. Just like always, he softly patted my hair. Even though his eyes were red and swollen like a rabbit’s, he forced the corners of his lips into a smile.

“We’ll know what’s going on once we’re there. But from now on, don’t touch me without permission.”

I brushed his hand away coldly. For a moment, a flicker of pain crossed his face—and only then did I realize.

His right hand still hadn’t recovered from the aftereffects of the plague. That hand, which still burned so badly he couldn’t even hold a pen, was the one I had so harshly pushed aside.

“I’m sor—!”

“I’m fine. Just get ready and come down. I’ll be waiting.”

I didn’t even get to properly apologize. And just like that, his back turned and faded from view.

Alicia, what have you done?

Overwhelmed by a wave of self-loathing, I gripped the golden thread at my neck and twisted it in my fists.

‘Serves you right, Alicia. Someone like you doesn’t deserve to be loved by anyone.’

I collapsed like a tragic heroine in a third-rate play. But then I clenched my teeth and stood back up.

***

Inside the carriage, everything felt stiflingly cramped. With two grown men already seated, there was barely enough room left for anyone else.

“Sister Alicia, I’m small, so you can sit next to me.”

Lucio smiled brightly as he scooted over to make space. It made her uneasy, but she had no choice. She pressed herself tightly against the carriage wall, careful not to let her body touch his.

“You’re both awfully quiet today.”

A subtle tension swirled in the cramped, rattling carriage. Father Edwin stared silently out the window, while Lucio—oblivious as ever—kept picking at wounds.

“Anyway, I wonder what this summons is about? Since they even called me and Sister Alicia, it must be related to the Prayer Mass, right?”

At Lucio’s idle remark, delivered with a carefree grin, Father Edwin, who had remained silent, snapped sharply.

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

“Oh, I was just curious, that’s all. No need to be so sensitive, Father. You’re scaring me… If someone overheard you, they might think you’ve got something to hide.”

Her chest felt so tight she could hardly breathe. She leaned out the carriage window, dry-heaving. The guilt and fear churned into a knot inside her, stuck beneath her sternum, refusing to come up. It wasn’t until she stepped out of the carriage and spent a long moment coughing that her mind cleared.

“Alicia, are you alright?”

How she wanted to lean into Edwin’s broad chest and catch her breath. But with Lucio right there beside him, she took a step back instead.

“I’m fine. I think I just got a little motion sick.”

She would never get used to lying to him so shamelessly. Just looking at the looming Central Temple ahead made her dizzy.

I forced myself to move, step by reluctant step. The inside of the Central Temple was so quiet, you could hear the chirping of birds echoing through the halls.

When we opened the door to the conference room and stepped inside, Father Revencio greeted us with exaggerated gestures.

“Ah, I’ve been waiting for you all—so long, I thought my neck would stretch.”

The sharp stares from the priests seated at the table pierced like arrows.

“…It seems there’s one chair missing.”

There were clearly three of us, yet only two seats had been prepared.

“We arranged the seating according to the number of clergy. Two chairs is correct.”

A loaded statement. Lucio bowed politely toward Father Revencio and offered,

“Shall I fetch another chair, Father? Or, since I’m only a seminarian, would it be better if I waited outside?”

“No, you sit. And the little lady—pardon, the sister—so adored by Father Marco, should take a seat as well.”

***

He was ordering us to sit while leaving Father Edwin standing alone. My legs froze in place. I couldn’t shake the growing unease. I turned to Lucio, searching his face. According to our agreement, they weren’t supposed to touch Father Edwin. Lucio gave me a crooked smile and tilted his head.

“How many times do I have to say it…? If you’re going to misbehave, at least don’t get caught.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re implying.”

Barely had the words left Edwin’s mouth when Father Revencio raised his hand high. I instinctively squeezed my eyes shut—but there was no slap, no sound at all.

Instead, Father Revencio calmly set something down on the table.

It was a neatly folded handkerchief—a deep blue cloth embroidered with white thread, the emblem of the Archelio Monastery. The very handkerchief I had clumsily embroidered with Sara.

Ah… My heart plunged straight into the abyss.

“It was found in the corridor between the Emperor’s palace and the Yeongbin Palace—right by the terrace step.”

“That handkerchief is mine.”

Father Edwin spoke up without a moment of hesitation.

No, that’s my handkerchief.

I must have dropped it on the way to meet Abigail.

I could have just said it fell while I was on my way to dispose of some trash—but why… why would you…?

“So you’re saying this is yours.”

“Yes. It is. I must have dropped it while tidying up after the mass.”

“Yes, yes. I figured that’s what you’d say. But what a shame… tsk tsk…”

Revencio’s dull pupils narrowed in on Edwin. The look in his eyes was chilling, as if he might reach out and strangle him at any moment.

“So it’s reached even an old man’s ears—that a priest from the Archelio Monastery has been secretly meeting with the Saintess on a regular basis.”

Father Edwin glanced behind him, fixing his silent gaze on Lucio.

Lucio’s lips twitched, trembling faintly as if trying to stifle a laugh.

He never intended to keep his promise.

All Lucio ever wanted was to humiliate Edwin and me—to watch us fall apart.

There had never been a real deal, no agreement, nothing binding between us.

“You’d best not deny it. You’ll only make yourself look more pitiful.

Father Edwin, if you wish to preserve your honor as a priest, tell us the truth. Why did you meet with the Saintess in secret, away from everyone’s eyes?”

Tell them it’s not true.

Say it wasn’t you.

Tell them it was me who met the Saintess.

“…Does a man need a reason to visit a woman?”

With just that one sentence, the conference room erupted into chaos.

Father Edwin simply lifted his chin, looking down on Father Revencio with the proud air of an aristocrat.

“They said her beauty was divine—worthy of God’s own selection. I was intrigued. She acted all high and mighty just because she’s a Saintess, so I told her I’d back off if she gave up the bishop’s seat.”

Edwin… no. That’s not it. Please—don’t say anything more.

I reached out to stop him, but under the table, Lucio twisted my wrist ruthlessly.

“So she readily agreed to hand over the bishop’s position. I was going to take it a step further—refuse the bishop’s seat and demand the papacy instead. And if she refused, I planned to threaten her—spread rumors that she was a lustful Saintess consorting with a priest.”

At Edwin’s words, Father Revencio burst into manic laughter, his cheek twitching wildly as he clapped.

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.

Sharp applause echoed throughout the room.

“Yes, yes—now that you mention it, the Saintess did recently offer you the bishop’s seat.

How noble and pitiful she must be. How much she must’ve suffered, unable to tell a soul…”

It was clear Revencio was thoroughly entertained by Edwin’s theatrical confession.

“I do wonder, though, if all this warranted a summons to the Central Temple at the crack of dawn. After all, among us gathered here today, I’m sure there are other priests who secretly exploit women’s bodies.”

Father Edwin swept his damp silver hair back, speaking coolly:

“Those bloated with greed, who violate the bodies of nuns and believers as they please—yet sit here silently, draped in pure white robes.”

His gaze slowly swept the room, pausing as if to meet the eyes of each priest in turn.

“…No priest in this room has committed blasphemy as grave as yours.

Shameless to the core, Edwin. I knew from the start—you were the kind of seed that would one day rot the water.”

Father Revencio’s eyes gleamed with madness.