〈Turning back time belongs to the realm of purity… yet I was greedy.〉

My eyes were constantly taking in everything around me, but that was all. None of the passing scenery captured my heart.

‘Should I dip my feet in?’

If I were a bit younger, I would have jumped right into the cool stream, but I was already too old for that. I consoled myself with this thought as I turned toward the brook that cut through the cherry tree forest.

The gurgling sound of water flowing through the narrow gap was refreshingly pleasant.

By the time I reached the stepping stones scattered here and there, a wide rock caught my eye.

Just as I fully exposed myself to the sunlight, a crimson bird that had been preening its feathers on the rock suddenly flew up into the sky.

〈My madness ultimately… ruined the flow of time.〉

I tied my horse to a tree and immediately lifted the hem of my skirt. The guards following at a distance quickly turned their heads away.

〈Why didn’t I realize it? That the time I forcibly turned back would become a disaster for you.〉

I settled on the rock where the crimson bird had just been sitting and stretched my feet toward the flowing stream. Instantly, the cold sensation traveled from my toes up to my calves.

Despite the rather hot day, my body hair stood on end.

‘Just like Lukian.’

The child’s consistently cool body temperature, despite his fire attribute, seemed similar.

Before the smile that had just appeared on my lips could fade, I dipped my hands into the cold stream and swirled them around. The water’s surface, which had been flowing in one direction, spread wide and then narrowed again repeatedly in response to my hand movements.

〈Time has a compulsory nature. If it’s returned in an incomplete state… it would be even more so. Your time, not fully free from the previous life’s state…〉

For that moment, I could return to being a child. Only after playing with the water a few more times could I finally withdraw my hands.

The cold sensation now occupied even my mind.

Without time to fully straighten my bent back, I lowered my gaze from the sky to beneath the water’s surface. Then I propped my elbows on my knees and rested my chin.

While watching the gently rippling surface, small fish swam around my feet.

‘That’s not the way. You should follow the current.’

The tiny fish kept trying to swim upstream, unable to move from their spot. It looked quite strenuous just to watch.

〈It will draw you into the flow of your previous life. No matter how much you struggle, it will be difficult to escape from it.〉

‘Will that happen to me too?’

〈The end… has already been determined.〉

‘Even so, I’m already grateful. Without you, I wouldn’t have had the chance to live again.’

〈Because of me… Because of my madness…〉

‘So don’t think like that. Don’t torment yourself.’

At that moment, one fish, seemingly the smallest of the group, pushed forward. Once it gained momentum, the next part was easier. Due to the sunlight and the shadows on the water’s surface, the small fish quickly disappeared from sight.

Giving up on following it with my eyes, I raised my gaze. Once again, the chirping of birds traveling through the cherry tree forest brushed past my ears.

“I determine my own end. Even if time forces me, I’ll struggle until the very end.”

I slowly stood up. Water droplets slid down my calves as they emerged from the water.

I needed to head back soon, as Lukian’s lessons would be ending. So he wouldn’t worry.

※※※

The child’s words were unexpected. I had thought this new life was something to simply accept gratefully, but it came with an attachment. A very severe one at that.

‘I’m going to die?’

Yes, people are bound to die someday. The only difference is when and how.

Time with its compulsory nature will pull me back to the past, and at this rate, I’ll die in ten years. Once again bearing betrayal and disgrace.

‘But is ten years really accurate?’

The current flow contains events mixed from just before my death in the past life. This means the time I have left might be shorter than I think.

‘When will it be? Five years? Ten years?’

Or if not, since rumors about me are already rampant, it might even be in one or two years.

‘But so what?’

Whether it’s one year, five years, or ten years. What will happen will certainly happen, and I’ll fight against it, that’s all.

The longer the time given to me, the better it will be to correct my mistakes, but even if not, it doesn’t matter. I will live according to my will, and I won’t let the child’s sacrifice go to waste.

Because that’s my repayment to you who revived me.

‘Yes, that’s all there is to it. Life isn’t that big a deal.’

Just as every event has a cause and effect, if I cut off the causes in this life, I can surely live a different life.

If I fail at that, I’ll make another choice, and if that fails too, I’ll make yet another choice. No matter how much the time of the past attacks me, I will fight and fight again to cut off the past.

‘Who knows? Whether my death will be in ten years or twenty years.’

My mind is becoming increasingly clear. Time that seemed to have stopped is starting to pedal forward.

“I should have said it earlier.”

‘It’s not your fault.’

At that moment, I pictured the child’s back as he left the room with slumped shoulders.

“I should have at least hugged him.”

Stroked his head, patted his back. If I had looked into the eyes of the child sinking into sadness and said even one word of thanks for reviving me, he might not have been so dejected.

As these thoughts came to me, a feeling of guilt rose up. I kicked the horse’s belly hard to increase speed. The horse that had been strolling through the summer garden began to gallop toward the mansion.

By the time I arrived at the entrance of the mansion, a familiar carriage caught my eye.

I was about to enter without paying much attention, thinking it was Viscount Soriano who had come to see Father, when my brother suddenly appeared and spoke.

“Why is that woman here again?”

“That woman? Who?”

“Your accomplice in that runaway incident.”

‘Accomplice?’

“Don’t you remember? How long has it been that you’ve already forgotten?”

Only then did I understand who he was referring to. I immediately asked my brother:

“Lorena?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know? We didn’t have any appointment.”

If she had come to see me, she would have sought permission in advance. It’s impossible for me to answer if someone asks me the reason.

I raised my eyes toward my brother with a look that said ‘I know nothing.’

“So where is she now?”

“In a meeting with Father.”

“Ah… Then it seems she has business with Father, not me.”

“That doesn’t seem to be the case.”

My brother twisted the corners of his mouth with an irritated expression. After a moment, the way he clicked his tongue looked extremely displeased.

“Did something happen?”

“Nothing like that. I’m just saying she seems to have a lot of luggage. Why, wasn’t this a common occurrence before?”

“Huh?”

I blinked and stared at my brother. Of course, there had been many ladies who packed up and came here before.

But now no one volunteered. Becoming my lady’s maid meant having one’s self-esteem diminished that much.

‘But Lorena, who once ran away saying she hated it, has come back?’

That was clearly what my brother was saying.

“You should go in now. I need to go work out a bit.”

My brother made a gesture of bending his arms and rotating them, then patted my shoulder and turned toward the training ground.

Just as I was about to enter the front door after handing the reins to a servant, my brother called me again.

“Iella!”

“What?”

When I turned to look back, my brother hesitated for a moment before speaking.

“You might as well put your specialty to use! You know what I mean, right?”

※※※

It wasn’t long after I returned to my room when Lorena Soriano came to see me, just as my brother had said.

Unlike before, she greeted me with a clear face and displayed a pleasant smile.

“It’s been a while, Lorena. Please sit down.”

At my invitation, Lorena sat down and smoothed the folds of her voluminous dress before raising her eyes to me.

“I apologize for visiting without an appointment, Miss.”

“That’s fine. But what brings you here?”

“What brings me? You know there’s still unfinished business between us.”

“Ah… that matter.”

I had previously turned away Lorena when she came demanding unreasonable compensation. Though it was rude of her to suddenly appear to conclude this matter, I didn’t point it out.

“Do you have compensation in mind?”

Instead, I asked directly.

Lorena smiled brightly and answered my question.

“Yes. After careful consideration, I spoke with His Grace today.”

‘With Father?’

Though this was clearly a deal between us, Lorena mentioned Father.

‘Surely she didn’t make another unreasonable compensation request to Father…’

Before I could complete my thought, Lorena spoke first.

“Ah! Just in case, I want you to know that His Grace was the one who proposed this to me first.”

‘Father proposed?’

This is getting more confusing.

Besides, if she met with Father separately to negotiate, it means she’s already gotten what she wanted…

I wanted to take responsibility for my own actions if possible. Not with help from Father or other family members. I thought that was the least I could do.

But she’s already finished talking with Father.

‘What did they discuss?’

I set aside my thoughts and asked Lorena.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh my! You haven’t heard yet? I thought the rumors would be widespread by now. Is the Roberos ducal residence slower with gossip than I expected?”

Lorena covered her mouth with exaggerated gestures and narrowed her eyes.

At that moment, I recalled the conversation with my brother. And his final words to me.

〈You might as well put your specialty to use! You know what I mean, right?〉

What that meant.

‘I suspected as much…’

As I narrowed my eyes, Lorena clapped her hands together.

“I’m so relieved! I was worried that the mighty Roberos might be weak in intelligence gathering.”

A slight mockery. Through it, Lorena was elevating herself.

I looked at her and slowly opened my lips.

“So you’re really saying you’ll become my lady’s maid?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

“Rather than a problem… it seems like a thankless task. And above all, I don’t need a lady’s maid.”

“Oh my! Why not?”

Lorena opened her eyes wide, as if she hadn’t expected this.

“I don’t particularly need a companion, and one maid is enough to attend to me.”

“But Miss, regardless of necessity, wouldn’t it be helpful for social activities? Considering your past behavior… I think having someone by your side would be beneficial.”

Lorena seemed to be recalling my behavior at gatherings of noblewomen or at banquets.

As she said, I often stood apart from others before slipping out of banquet halls, or ignored invitations to women’s tea times.

So her words were somewhat reasonable. The social scene is an important place for noble children to form connections, and as the second daughter of Roberos, I should be able to utilize them as much as possible.

Having even one more person on my side would be an important asset.

Of course, that would have been true for my past self. But for my current self, it wasn’t such an important issue.

‘It’s not like I have marriage plans.’

I only wish for a quiet life with Lukian. And if I might die at any moment, even more so…

“I appreciate your concern, Lorena.”

When I clearly expressed my refusal, Lorena’s expression hardened instead. Then, as if she had no choice, she revealed the content of her deal with Father.

“To be honest, I’ve already received sufficient compensation from His Grace. In addition, His Grace asked me to become your lady’s maid. I’ve already accepted his proposal, and if you refuse, our Soriano family will have to pay ten times the compensation amount to His Grace.”

“Ten times the compensation? That’s too…”

“Yes, you think it’s harsh, right? I think so too. But I never dreamed you would refuse.”

Her deep sigh made it seem as if the world had collapsed.

Though I didn’t need to feel guilty about something done without my permission, somehow I felt uncomfortable.

‘Well, I didn’t ask for her permission either when I did what I did.’

Should this be called karma? A faint sigh escaped me.

“Fine. You’ve probably already unpacked, so I look forward to working with you, Lorena.”

※※※

“Oh my! Who is this little young master?”

While we were having tea time together, all of Lukian’s lessons had ended. The child was standing outside the door, shrunk down with a cautious look, unlike his dejected appearance when he left.

Lorena fixed her gaze on Lukian, who was taking small steps backward, her eyes sparkling.

I rose from my seat and approached the child. Then I took his hesitant hand and led him inside.

“Say hello. This is Lorena Soriano, who will be my lady’s maid from today.”

Lukian stared at Lorena for a moment before hiding himself behind me.

“Oh my! He’s a shy young master, isn’t he?”

“He’s a bit wary of strangers. Please understand.”

“He does seem that way. Don’t worry, Miss. I don’t mind at all. But he’s such an adorable young master.”

Could he be the young master of the family? You don’t look alike at all. Lorena whispered softly in my ear.

How do they all have the same thoughts? Putting my question aside, I answered her.

“No, he’s a child our family is sponsoring. He’ll soon be registered under Aunt Yasmin of Svendel.”

“Ah! The one who’s still single at that late age? Oh my! I made a mistake.”

Lorena quickly covered her mouth and rolled her eyes. Knowing her tendency to speak her thoughts directly, I was going to let it pass but decided to give a brief caution.

“You should be careful. Depending on who hears it, such words could be offensive.”

“Yes, Miss. I’ll be more careful in the future.”

Her prompt agreement felt somewhat unfamiliar. I nodded and sat down with Lukian.

Lorena also sat back in her chair and continued speaking.

“By the way, I hear you’re leaving for the imperial palace soon?”

“Did Father tell you?”

“Yes, he earnestly asked me to look after you. He seemed very worried. That’s partly why I came so urgently.”

‘Look after me?’

Haah, Father.

Does he still see me as a child left by the water’s edge? I didn’t realize it because he sometimes asks for my opinion and readily engages in conversation.

It seems I still haven’t shed my image of being reckless and flighty.

“I suppose so. Meeting His Majesty the Emperor isn’t an easy matter. He said your mind and body would be very tired, so he asked me to take good care of you. But may I ask why you’re going?”

Lorena asked with curious eyes, as if she hadn’t heard the important part.

I briefly considered whether I should tell her the truth, but soon shook my head.

The Emperor’s treatment had to be kept strictly confidential, and it wasn’t something to be easily shared with those outside the parties involved and Roberos.

After all, I was the one who attached the confidentiality clause to the Emperor.

Regardless of my trust in Lorena, I needed to be as careful as possible.

“It’s a future daughter-in-law visiting her future father-in-law.”

“Ah. I forgot something so obvious.”

Fortunately, Lorena seemed to understand my position. But I could hear her clicking her tongue faintly, as if something didn’t quite add up.

‘Was she always this perceptive?’

I knew she had good business acumen, but to be so alert about these matters too?

I watched Lorena, who had quickly turned her attention to Lukian, and tightly held the child’s hand.

8. Identifying the Culprit

Unlike my first entry into the imperial palace, the second journey had more people.

Due to what might be an extended stay at the palace, I had to bring Lukian, along with Enya to attend to the child and me, and Lorena who had attached herself to us.

In addition, with one luggage cart following behind the carriage, a carriage for the servants, and about ten guard knights, it looked quite substantial.

‘I hope the Emperor won’t be angry.’

Since we were entering the imperial palace with private soldiers, I couldn’t help but be cautious.

Though Father had sought permission in advance, there would still be those who might find it strange.

‘And not just a few.’

In any case, he worries too much.

Whew, as I exhaled, Lukian tightly hugged my waist. His red eyes, clear as a ruby, looked up at me.

I smiled gently at him. Like it were nothing.

At that moment, Lorena, who had been looking out the window as if bored, opened her mouth.

“The young master really follows you well, Miss. I’m almost envious.”

“We’re practically family already. Right, Lukian?”

Lukian, who had been showing a strangely vigilant attitude since meeting Lorena, nodded with a “Mmm.” The child’s hair, now neatly combed to the side, swayed gently with the nod.

I met the child’s eyes and smiled as I tucked his now-shorter hair behind his ear.

‘But why is he so tense?’

It seemed too much to attribute it to visiting the imperial palace for the first time. Especially seeing how the child’s eyes kept glancing at Lorena.

He wasn’t like this when facing Father, my brother, servants, or teachers. The child was only hesitant during first meetings, but adapted quickly afterward. But now?

It feels like he’s carefully examining her, as if gauging the state of an object.

Just as some word was about to surface in my mind, Lorena spoke.

“Young master, do you like candy?”

Perhaps thinking he was just shy, Lorena took out candy from a small pouch she had brought along and showed it to Lukian.

It seemed she intended to befriend the child. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been drooling over him since their first meeting.

Lukian looked back and forth between the candy and me, then shook his head.

“Oh my! You don’t like this delicious thing? Too many sweets can rot your teeth, but if you just hold one in your mouth occasionally, it’s as sweet as honey and makes you feel good.”

Lorena showed some disappointment but didn’t give up. She popped the candy she had offered to Lukian into her own mouth and chewed it until one cheek bulged out.

“Aah, delicious. Is this what heaven tastes like?”

Shaking her head and actively expressing the taste with a stream of words, Lorena turned her gaze back to Lukian.

“Are you really sure you don’t want any? Then I’ll eat them all myself.”

Lukian shook his head again. Though there was a hint of hesitation, that was all.