I didn’t want to open my eyes. I was too sleepy—so unbearably sleepy. I just wanted to keep sleeping, but someone kept calling my name.

It annoyed me.

‘Stop calling me.’

I was so tired, it was unbearable.

Frowning, I forced my heavy eyelids open.

“Ms. Lee Jae, are you conscious?”

…Patient?

Why are they calling me a patient?

Confused, I parted my lips, but my throat was dry—no proper sound came out.

“Do you know where you are?”

“Whe…re… am I?”

“You’re in a hospital. I’ll call your guardian.”

I closed my eyes again and tried to think.

My last memory…

It was—

My eyes snapped open.

I pushed myself up and immediately looked down at my stomach.

“Ah…”

My vision shattered.

My trembling pupils were swallowed by tears.

Footsteps approached—but I couldn’t lift my head.

I could only trace my flattened stomach with my hand.

I had gone to see Mom.

I had seen him off as he left for work.

And then, there was an accident.

“Ugh…!”

It felt like someone was strangling me.

Blood rushed to my face.

It felt like my eyes would burst.

Even as it felt like every vessel would rupture, I couldn’t close them.

“Lee Jae.”

To protect me, the bodyguard, who had just gotten married not long ago, had thrown himself in front of the car.

He had been hit.

And then…

I—

I…

“Lee Jae.”

That low, heavy voice pierced my ears.

It sounded like the same voice that had been calling me, pulling me from sleep.

Slowly—

I lifted my head.

“…”

When I swallowed, my throat burned as if it were tearing apart. I frowned.

“You’ve been unconscious for over a week.”

There was something I wanted to ask, but I was too afraid to say it.

The memory of blood flowing between my legs came back vividly, and every hair on my body stood on end.

My lips moved soundlessly for a long time.

“…The baby?”

My voice came out broken, splitting into fragments.

My throat stung, but I forced myself to ask what mattered most.

“The body…guard?”

It was selfish.

I was a terrible person.

More than the one who had protected me, my child mattered more.

Filled with guilt, I looked at him.

But—he hesitated.

Kang-heon… hesitating?

That wasn’t like him. And that made me afraid.

I clenched my trembling fingers into a fist.

“Our baby…?”

I stared at him, but he looked as if he were choosing his words.

“It’s gone.”

I blinked slowly.

I lowered my gaze to my stomach once, then looked back at him.

“…Gone?”

My voice was hollow, my eyes empty as I whispered.

Maybe…it was a mistake to think of naming the baby Happiness.

I knew happiness always slips away.

And yet I spoke of it.

I tried to become happy.

Me.

Someone like me.

Daring to—

“…What about the bodyguard?”

“He’s fine. Not seriously injured.”

“That’s… a relief.”

I thought I would be devastated.

I thought I would cry endlessly, because the child that had been inside me was gone. But everything felt unreal.

Like a lie.

Not a single tear came.

I just…wanted to rest.

“…I’m sleepy.”

I wanted to do nothing, just sleep. I wanted to escape this reality I couldn’t accept.

Curling up on the bed like a child, I drew into myself.

If the baby was gone, shouldn’t my body feel lighter?

Then why did it feel so heavy?

I didn’t even have the strength to move a finger.

He pulled the blanket up over me.

I turned my head slightly and looked at him.

“…Should we try again?”

Next time—

I won’t name the baby Happiness.

But instead of agreeing, his expression hardened.

Only then did I remember.

He didn’t want a child.

Which meant—

“…Are you happy… that the baby is gone?”

The words slipped out before I could stop them—sharp, like claws aimed at him.

But the one who was hurt was me.

“I’m not having a child again.”

“……”

“If you want one, we’ll adopt. I don’t want children.”

Even as he saw the pain on my face he didn’t waver.

That’s right. He was that kind of person. Someone who never held back what he wanted to say, someone who never postponed his decisions.

“…I want to be discharged. It’s suffocating here.”

It felt like my chest had been hollowed out.

I pulled the blanket over my head and shut my eyes tightly.

I just wanted to fall asleep right now.

***

“Madam… please try to eat a little, alright?”

At the housemaid’s worried voice, I opened my eyes. But even answering felt like too much effort, so I closed them again.

“Oh dear… Madam… if you keep this up, something terrible will happen to you.”

I knew the housemaid was worried, but I truly had no appetite.

“…Please tell him I already ate.”

“Yes, understood.”

I shifted my body and lay face down on the bed.

“……”

I used to hate silence. But these days, this quiet was the only thing I liked.

I would see him off when he left for work, then the moment I returned inside, I would lie down on the bed.

And sleep.

Then sleep again.

The strange thing was, every time I opened my eyes, hours had already passed.

If I stayed like that until he came home, the day would disappear in an instant.

And I liked that.

I planned to do the same today, but—

“Jae, my dear… are you alright?”

At the gentle hand stroking my hair, my eyes opened before I realized it.

Mother was looking at me, her eyes brimming with tears.

“…Mother.”

I pushed myself up into a sitting position.

“Jae… why have you become so thin? Are you eating properly?”

Thankfully, it seemed the housemaid hadn’t told her anything.

“Yes… I’m eating well… I just don’t gain weight. I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for? There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.”

I forced the corners of my lips into a smile.

As I brushed back my tangled hair, my hand trembled.

‘It must be because I haven’t been eating.’

“Seo-ah, you’re here?”

I deliberately brightened my voice.

Seo-ah hesitated before walking closer.

“Have you been well? Auntie… hasn’t been able to call lately. I’m sorry.”

“Auntie… please don’t be sick.”

I should have felt grateful for her kindness.

But something was wrong.

I just felt annoyed and wished they would leave quickly.

Even so, I acted.

As if I were fine.

As if nothing was wrong.

As if I were living normally.

Mother must have noticed.

When she stood to leave, saying she had to take Seo-ah to her academy, her eyes were wet.

‘You terrible person…’

‘Do you even realize how much she’s done for you?’

When I saw them off, it had only been a light drizzle but soon, rain poured down so heavily it blurred everything from view.

I stood in front of the wide window, quietly watching the winter rain.

The bodyguards who used to stand guard outside were all dismissed.

It was the first time I had gone against him.

The rain…felt like it was crying in my place.

So I stood there, staring blankly for a long time.

“What are you doing there?”

I hadn’t even noticed he was home.

“…You’re back.”

I lowered my gaze, not wanting to look at him as he approached.

“Take this.”

Only then did I notice, he was holding a large frame.

“What is it?”

I didn’t care.

I wasn’t interested.

I didn’t even want to take what he was offering.

I kept my head lowered stubbornly, and perhaps sensing my thoughts, he leaned the frame against the wall instead.

“It’s your mother’s painting—the one you were looking for.”

I froze. Slowly, I lifted my head and looked at him. Our eyes met for the first time in a while.

“You tore my mother’s painting apart back then.”

He had ripped it to shreds, the most precious thing I had, just because I ran away.

“That one was fake. This is the real painting.”

My eyes shook violently.

If that was true—

“Then… that means you lied?”

I demanded to know if what he had said before, as he tore apart my mother’s painting, had all been a lie.

He turned away without a word.

I wanted to shout—

Where are you going?

Why did you lie?

How am I supposed to believe this is real?

But even that felt too exhausting now.

So I gave up. I sank weakly in front of the painting. Reaching out, I tore away the paper wrapped around the frame.

“Ah…”

My hand flew to my mouth.

The moment I saw it—

I knew.

This was real.

My mother’s painting, the one I had searched for so desperately.

The painting, filled entirely with the yellow I loved most, depicted my mother holding a baby.

“Ugh…”

My chest felt like it was being torn apart.

“Hng… sob…!”

Just looking at it—

I could feel her heart.

I could feel, so completely, how much she had loved her child.

And the tears that had refused to fall until now poured down like a waterfall.

If I stayed here any longer, it felt like my heart would burst.

I sprang to my feet and ran out into the rain.

Sharp, icy drops pierced my entire body, but I didn’t move.

I just stood there in the downpour.

My jaw trembled uncontrollably, my hands and feet numb with cold yet I stood in the garden, staring silently at the ruined flowerbed.

“Lee Jae!”

In spring…

I had planned to make a garden here. I was going to plant cherry blossom trees and flowers bursting with brilliant colors.

But now…

“What are you doing?!”

I looked at him as he grabbed my wrist then closed my eyes.

“Lee Jae!!”

Even as his urgent voice rang out—

I couldn’t open them.