But there was no way I would smile at you.

“No, Mother. Why would I smile?”

The sight of your face makes my blood boil and my stomach turn. Simply being in this house makes my skin crawl with how much I hate it, so there is no way I would smile at you.

“Are you saying I’m lying right now! Oh. My health has been getting worse and worse ever since that child came into this house.”

My mother-in-law swayed like she might collapse at any moment. Dertosse rushed to catch her at the waist like a devoted son, going pale as a sheet as though the world were crumbling around him.

“Mother! Are you all right?!”

“Oh… I feel dizzy, Dert. At this rate, I might die young.”

“I’ll call for a physician at once.”

“Dert, no. A sickness of the heart won’t heal just by calling a physician…”

Well, would you look at that. My face stiffened on its own at the sight of such laughable acting.

“Haah. I… I should just die.”

“What are you saying?”

“No. I’ve lived too long. I’ve lived so long that I’ve had to witness things no one should have to see.”

“That’s right, Mother. Your eyes must have gotten worse with age. I hear they’re selling something called spectacles at the capital market these days. When Dertosse and I go to pick up your jewelry, I’ll bring back a pair for you too.”

Go ahead and see how it feels.

The very same things you did to me.

Choke on your own frustration.

“Wh, wh…! D, did you just say my eyes are bad!”

“Yes… Mother. They say it’s only natural for one’s eyesight to weaken with age. So please don’t be too upset.”

“You, you!”

“Oh my. You looked like you were about to faint just a moment ago, but you seem to have recovered.”

You were always like this. Pretending you knew nothing, pretending to be the one wronged. I was always the one who suffered, but in this life, I’m sorry to say I’ll be doing exactly what you did.

“Wh, wh!”

“You’re right! Mother. You just sprang right back up!”

A beat behind, Dertosse broke into a bright smile as my mother-in-law snapped upright.

“…Ha.”

“Mother. I do worry about you so. You’re not as young as you used to be, and I’m afraid something terrible might happen if you get too worked up. You must stay by our side always.”

I stepped past Dertosse and grabbed her by the arm, hard.

“Ow, that hurts! What do you think you’re doing!”

“Goodness, Dert. She must have grown so frail that even my grip hurts her. We’ll need to get her something to build up her strength first thing tomorrow.”

“Evie. You really are so caring.”

“Wh, wh…! Right now…!”

Dertosse, easily swayed fool that he was, jumped at the chance to echo my words. Thanks to that, Mother Rose’s insides must have been burning.

“So please go inside now, Mother.”

“…I… I really.”

She seemed to want to say “to think I raised that boy,” but her mouth only opened and closed without a sound.

“Ha… fine. I give up. I shouldn’t even bother! Anyway… don’t even think about going to fetch that jewelry.”

“But you were the one who told me to bring it back.”

“Forget it. Ha… forget that, so now… now go inside and rest.”

Perhaps deciding there was no point in saying more, my mother-in-law finally shot me one last glare and went into her room. It would be such a shame to end things here.

“Dertosse. Mother seems very upset…”

Just like she used to do. Just like she would grab Dertosse every time something happened between us and play the victim, I let my voice ring out loud and clear. Loud enough for her to hear from inside her room.

“Don’t worry. Mother isn’t like that.”

“But… when she went inside just now…”

One thing to be grateful for, in my past life and in this one, was that Dertosse was thoroughly stupid. He draped an arm around my shoulders and slowly urged me along.

“Don’t think too much about it. Let’s head back now.”

“All right.”

I hadn’t let my guard down yet. Every eye and ear in the marquis’s household belonged to Mother. I deliberately let myself go limp and pressed close against him as we walked.

“I feel like Mother hates me so much…”

“That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

What had it been like before? 

I had gotten angry at him for not believing me, and cried from the injustice of it all. Begging him to please just listen to me. But every time, Dertosse, who had claimed to believe me, would run straight to my mother-in-law the very next day and repeat everything I had said back to her. Asking whether Mother really didn’t trust Evian. Whether she really was making things hard for her.

And of course, every time that happened, Mother would either collapse or burst into tears and pour out her own grievances. On top of that, my sisters-in-law would step in and rage at him, asking why he couldn’t see that Evian was trying to drive a wedge between him and his mother.

‘So this time, I won’t do that.’

That time of being foolishly victimized was over. I no longer get angry from the injustice, and I no longer cry. I simply do what Mother used to do.

“Dert.”

“Yeah.”

“I want to get along well with Mother. Dert, tell me. What do I have to do to get along with her.”

I trembled slightly and worked my mouth in silence. Like someone carrying a great deal of hurt. If I do this, you’ll go straight to Mother and repeat every word I said, Dertosse. Just like you did before.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get along soon enough. I’ll make sure to try my best to make that happen. So don’t be too sad.”

His hand brushed lightly over my cheek.

“And you know, Evie. You know I’m not doing this because I dislike you, right? Mother only settles down when I make a big fuss beside her, you know?”

Amusingly enough, the moment my mother-in-law stepped into her room, Dertosse’s behavior flipped completely. Like he fancied himself some great lover.

“You know how I feel, don’t you?”

How laughable. To think the me of the past had fallen for words like those.

When I kept walking without answering, he naturally wound his hand around mine.

“I’m going crazy lately too. She keeps acting like that, like she’s become a different person entirely… I’m at my wit’s end.”

As though that weren’t enough, the snake of a man swept a hand through my hair.

“Could it be because of my background?”

“What does your background matter? The more I look at you, the more captivating you are, Evie.”

“Thank you for thinking so.”

Every part of me wanted to hurl every insult I had at him, but it was not yet time. Like the first time I had met him, like the blank-faced Evian who had known nothing, I gave him a soft smile at his words.

“I’m so happy that you say that, Dert.”

“Right. So how about we have a passionate night tonight?”

He moved in slowly, like a creeping thing, and pulled my waist hard against him. Not satisfied with that, he even groped at me.

Just then we arrived at my room, and I shoved his arm away firmly.

“Sorry.”

“Why…”

“I want to rest now.”

“Right. Resting together with me is resting.”

“No.”

“…Evie. What’s gotten into you? Ever since the wedding, you’ve been acting like I’m some kind of bug, not even wanting me to touch you.”

Because you are a bug. Worse than a bug, in fact. He furrowed his brow with an expression of incomprehension, but I gave him a small smile.

“Dertosse.”

“Yeah.”

“Being with you keeps me up at night, Dert. I want to share a passionate night with you too, but I haven’t been feeling well lately. I’m sorry… I’m in so much pain.”

Obsessed with bed matters, this man. Despite my saying I wasn’t well, he was already easing his way through the door.

“I’ll be gentle.”

“Dert… Dert, does the bed matter more to you than my health?”

“N, no. Not at all. Never. It’s just… I heard that when bodies grow distant, hearts grow distant too…”

He was saying something that made no sense, and even he seemed to realize it as he said it, waving his hand awkwardly.

“That couldn’t be. You know how much I care for you, Dert. As long as you don’t abandon me, I will love you forever. My feelings will never change.”

Only then did Dertosse let out a long sigh and bow his head.

“Just once…”

“I’m the one who should be asking… Do you know how much I walked today to look for that jewelry… I’m exhausted.”

“…Fine. If that’s what you say, I suppose there’s nothing to be done. But promise me you’ll see a physician.”

“Please look after Mother more than me.”

“You’re too kind for your own good, you know that.”

His large hand wrapped around my neck. I couldn’t refuse even that, so I let him do as he pleased. Dertosse, taking it as his chance, pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“Don’t worry about Mother. I’ll handle everything.”

“All right. Good night, Dertosse.”

“Good night. My love.”

Every part of me wanted to pour out everything I had held inside onto him. To ask whether he had any idea how much he had put me through. I wanted to say it, but until Isen took my hand, there was still nothing I could do.

In the meantime, Dertosse walked away, and only then did I lock the door behind me.

* * *

A few days later, it was a day no different from any other.

Marchioness in name, but with no maid to speak of, I washed and readied myself alone in my room before heading down to the dining hall. But my destination was not the dining table. It was the kitchen where the meals were prepared.

“You’re late today.”

Sure enough, a pile of tasks had accumulated there for me, as naturally as ever. From the moment it came to light that my background had been fabricated by Dertosse, my lot in life had always been this. Treated worse than the servants and maids, I had to take on their work as well.

“The mistress is furious!”

At the maid’s words, I looked at her in silence.