“You’re the one who rejected me, Rechel.”

“Hoho. I find myself regretting it now. I only realized after you married what a wonderful man you are.”

Right. What a cozy little trio. Princess Rechel wouldn’t know, never having gone through it herself. That this household is full of nothing but madpeople. Then again, she probably never would have to go through it. Her family name was far more powerful than mine.

“Speaking of which, Dertosse.”

“Yeah?”

“If you could go back to that time, would you choose me instead of that foolish woman?”

The sudden question landed squarely on Dertosse.

The atmosphere in the dining hall went cold in an instant, like someone had upended a pot of tea. But this was something I had already lived through before. The moment those words left her mouth, Dertosse had chosen her.

But this time was subtly different.

The answer that in the past would have come without a moment’s hesitation was slow in coming today. He wasn’t even answering. He was just staring blankly at me. At me, busy pouring tea for them.

“Why aren’t you answering?”

When the answer that was supposed to come “naturally” didn’t come “naturally,” Rechel’s voice hardened in an instant. She seemed just as startled as I was.

Tap, tap. Her well-kept, prettily grown nails drummed against the table at a steady pace.

“Dertosse.”

The way she drew out the end of his name made her irritation plain.

“D, Dertosse. The princess is asking you a question. Answer her.”

Only after my mother-in-law stepped in did Dertosse finally open his mouth, stumbling over his words.

“…What do you mean, no answer. It’s just. It didn’t seem like something to say here.”

“…What? Is that something you should say to my face? What’s something to say here, and what isn’t?”

The face of the pretty, kind, gracious princess sharpened in an instant. Take your quarrel outside, please. Why are you doing this here?

“…More importantly, Rechel. You said you brought a handmaid. Shouldn’t you introduce her first? That was why you asked to be invited to today’s meal, wasn’t it.”

The people in this household seemed to think it perfectly natural to take out their tempers on me whenever anything didn’t go their way. Rechel, who had been glaring at Dertosse just a moment before, looked at me with the same contempt she had worn when I was dying, then crooked a finger.

A brown-haired woman who had been standing not far away stepped up beside her.

“Mary Soltian. A handmaid from the ducal household. One of those I trust. She’ll straighten out that scatterbrained new mistress.”

What kind of mindset does it take to speak like that about someone right in front of them? I would rather be talked about behind my back. Having her insult me to my face like this made me want to hit her.

“I am Mary Soltian.”

She gave a short bow. She had a slight, lean frame and wore small spectacles. Mary, who looked strict to anyone’s eye, greeted my mother-in-law and Dertosse before looking me up and down. She seemed quite displeased, pushing her spectacles up as she did it.

‘But why have I never seen this woman before?’

Rechel had never once brought anything to this house. Not a person, not a thing. She only ever said things like “Next time I’ll bring Mother a gift she’ll love,” or “Next time I come I’ll bring something rare and hard to find.” Just words.

And yet this Rechel had personally brought someone?

I wondered for a moment whether she might be connected to Isen, but the only things in the gaze she turned on me were negative feelings, discomfort and something close to hatred.

On top of that, the fact that Rechel trusted her made it even less likely she had any connection to Isen. In short, this was the moment it became clear she was someone sent here to make my life harder.

“She looks quite sharp. Princess.”

“She’s been helping me with my manners since I was young. We’re very close. And yet she never does anything carelessly. I can say with confidence that she is more exacting than anyone.”

“Oh. So you’re giving her to the marquis’s household?”

“For a time. I do hope my gift is to Mother’s and Dertosse’s liking.”

“Your simply coming here is already a great gift, never mind anything else.”

Her cheeks flushed a pleased pink, and she laughed with her cheekbones rising before she turned to look at me.

“I hope you’ll get yourself together as well.”

Princess Rechel lifted one corner of her mouth at me. I had no idea what I was supposed to get together, but I let it go in one ear and out the other.

“It breaks my heart that such a lovely princess is not my daughter-in-law.”

My empty stomach lurched with nausea. If being like that was what it took to be loved, then the me of the past would not have died so senselessly.

The late-night snacks I made hoping Mother Rose would be pleased, the tea I poured with my own hands, the dress I stitched for her stitch by stitch, none of it had ever satisfied her.

She disliked me when I worked hard, and she disliked me when I did as I was told. My two sisters-in-law went without saying. To them, I was a daughter-in-law who could do nothing right no matter what she did.

The memory of their contemptuous eyes as they killed me without mercy, even after I told them I carried a child, came back to me. My blood ran hot through my whole body. I couldn’t hold down the churning in my stomach and pressed my hand over my mouth.

I thought of the child who had let me know they were there, nudging gently against my belly. My child, who had to die at their father’s hands without ever seeing the light of the world, without me ever giving them a name.

Unable to bear the sight of them laughing and enjoying themselves, I pressed a hand over my chest to steady myself and looked at my mother-in-law Rose.

“I’ll take my leave.”

“Go or don’t. Actually. I’d rather not have you in my sight.”

But unlike my mother-in-law, who was ready to let me go, Rechel stopped me.

“You don’t look well.”

“No. My stomach is not at all well.”

I had no idea what ripple those words would send out. That those words would freeze the dining hall’s atmosphere solid and give Rechel something to misunderstand.

My only priority was steadying the nausea threatening to overtake me, so the moment I had permission I ran out without thinking.

“Ha… I really don’t know what this is supposed to be.”

There was no time to even make it to my room. I had nearly been sick all over the corridor. I ended up retching in the washroom attached to the parlor not far from the dining hall, then looked at myself in the mirror as I washed my face. There was nothing left to come up, but the nausea lingered for quite a while. My already plain face looked even worse for it.

Sunken cheeks, hair in complete disarray.

No comparison at all to the princess I had seen earlier. To think the face I had once thought beautiful could become this.

But what did my appearance matter at this point.

I dampened my hands, smoothed my hair as best I could, and stepped outside.

What now? They were probably still eating in the dining hall, so should I go to my room? Should I find something to do to pass the time? I was just thinking I might as well do some laundry to get my mind off things, when, contrary to my expectation that the corridor would be empty, my mother-in-law Rose was there to meet me, her face full of fury.

Why was she here when she should have been in the dining hall?

“Mother?”

Her hand moved in a threatening way, like she might grab me by the hair at any moment.

“Ha… really… you, you…!”

Her face was flushed red, nothing like the warm and cheerful expression she had worn when I left the dining hall. This was no bolt from the blue, it was me coming out after being sick, and she was already like this.

“Why are you out here?”

“It’s all your fault.”

What was she picking a fight over this time? I was used to being hit and being screamed at, so I simply bowed my head.

It was less severe now, but in the time just before I died, being beaten nearly to death was not uncommon. My mother-in-law had broken my leg for not being quick enough, and poured boiling water over my face for not wanting to look at my eyes.

At least she isn’t carrying hot water or a blunt object right now. Small mercies.

Just then.

“Your very existence is a sin!! Because of someone like you, because of you…!”

What is it now? What has made Mother this furious again.

“Did something happen?”

Every part of me wanted to lift my head and tell her to stop, but it was not yet “time.” So I asked as gently as I could.

“What?”

I slowly raised my head and met her eyes.

“I only came out because my stomach was unwell. What happened?”

“How dare you walk out like that!”

“I couldn’t very well be sick in there, Mother. And you were the one who told me to leave.”

Come to think of it, Dertosse was not here. So it seemed all right to push back against my mother-in-law a little more in line with my true nature. Whether I spoke nicely or not, she was going to say nothing but bad things about me to him anyway.

“Ha? I want to cut out that loose tongue of yours! You walking out saying your stomach was unwell made the princess suspicious! So go back in there right now and tell her it was nothing! Go bow your head and apologize this instant.”

Where does she find the nerve?

I had been ready to let it pass, but the absurdity of it finally made my face go stiff.

“…What do you mean? What misunderstanding, what misunderstanding did she have? What apology?”

“Shut your mouth and do as I say! Where do you get off talking back? Talking back, really. Do you need a beating to get your head straight?”

My mother-in-law was as unreasonable as ever. Cutting out all context and telling me to say it was nothing. Running out because I felt like I was going to be sick from being around them… in that moment, I remembered the look Rechel had given me.

If I had simply gone out to be sick, there would be nothing for Rechel to misunderstand. But the fact that my mother-in-law was making this much of a scene meant Rechel had almost certainly misunderstood something quite seriously.

There was only one thing someone could misunderstand about me being sick.

‘Don’t tell me, she thinks I’m nauseous because I’m carrying a child?’