Chapter 8

Hakan bent down again, sucking her br*ast. The moist, soft sensation against his tongue sent shivers through his body. Watching her writhe and m*an every time his tongue moved was intoxicating. Before he held her, he only wanted to protect her, but now, strangely, he wanted her to cry out and suffer a little more beneath him.

“Haa… ah! Kan, Kan!”

Was a name ever this sweet? Even if it wasn’t his real name, it sounded like an affectionate nickname, and Hakan liked that. He wished she would keep saying his name. When he gently bit the tip of her n*pple with his front teeth, the legs wrapped around his waist squeezed tighter.

Hakan slowly climbed onto the bed. When he laid Eria down straight, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her eyes, glazed with excitement, shone beautifully—though she herself didn’t know it. It made his mind hazy.

He’d heard that sometimes the seniors would bring good-looking female war prisoners into their tents. Some forced themselves on them, but most prisoners wanted to offer their bodies to save their lives. Hearing men boast about such things made relationships with women seem animalistic, like beasts in heat who drooled over any woman. Having such men in his own army was shameful.

Yet now, Hakan felt he was just like that. He wasn’t forcing himself on her, nor was she a war prisoner, but being unable to break away from Eria made him feel like a beast. How could he have lived without knowing this pleasure? And he felt he could only experience it with her—he wanted it to be that way.

Hakan left gentle red marks wherever his lips touched her skin.

“Dame Eria, you are mine now. Only I can hold you.”

“Mm…! Hnn.”

“And you can only be held by me, Dame Eria.”

He wanted to swallow up even her flushed cheeks. Kan threw off his pants and rubbed against her below. Looking down at her, legs spread, crying out, he felt a wicked urge to hold her tighter and make her cry out even more. But just as it was his first time, it was Eria’s first time too. Firsts were precious. Because it was precious to him, it was precious to her as well. So he tried his best, slowly, not rushing.

“Kan, now… mm. Please, do something… hnn.”

He first used his fingers to gently caress her, so her body wouldn’t be startled. Soon, Eria begged, her voice leaking out slowly with m*ans. When he withdrew his fingers and, as she pleaded, entered her where his hand had just been, her m*ans grew louder.

“Ahh…”

“Aah!”

So this was how it felt.

Hakan gritted his teeth. The pleasure was different from sucking her skin. He could feel the trembling of her thighs. But more than that, her body gripped him tightly, making him feel as though he might burst at any moment. His mind went blank.

“Hnn, it’s… so good.”

She was so tight. He wanted to lose himself completely, to hold Eria like a true beast. But worried he might hurt her if he moved too hard, he moved his hips gently, and she bit her lower lip, looking up at him.

“Are you alright? Does it hurt?”

At Hakan’s question, Eria shook her head and pulled him closer. Ah! Ha, ah! Her breath and m*ans at his ear made Hakan lose more of his self-control.

“Kan! Hnn, nn! Harder…! Ah!”

He thought he might go crazy. Even with her constantly swallowing him, it wasn’t enough; he wanted to bury himself to the very root. Kan abandoned all thought and followed his instincts.

It was so good. He felt like he was walking on clouds every time their bodies rubbed together. He wanted to conquer her even deeper. Thrusting hard, Hakan held Eria tightly and moved intensely. Their bodies joined for a long time, and only after Eria screamed and fainted did Hakan finally let her go.

“Haa…”

Hakan kissed her forehead and licked away the tears at the corner of her eyes.

Beautiful.

No matter how much he looked at her face, he never tired of it. His heart kept pounding.

* * *

“Ugh… My head.”

Her head felt like it was splitting. As she slowly opened her eyes, Eria saw the now-familiar ceiling of the tent. It was a place she knew well, so why did it feel so empty and unfamiliar? Eria rolled her eyes toward the unfamiliar sensation beside her and sighed.

‘This is crazy.’

The memories of last night, which she’d thought were just a dream, came back in vivid detail. She’d drunk a lot, probably rambled on a bit.

‘From the first time I saw you, Kan, you were really handsome.’

Or,

‘Will I ever get married before I die? Sigh, with my luck, marriage is a joke. If I just get to sleep with a man, that’s lucky.’

Just pointless complaints. And then she’d said something awful about asking Kan to help her with her first experience, and how it would be unfair to die as a v*rgin ghost in wartime. She wished she couldn’t remember, but she remembered everything far too clearly.

‘Stupid. Not even an animal…’

She was lucky not to be sued for s*xual harassment by a superior officer. Eria bit her tongue and suppressed the urge to die, trying to act composed as she hurriedly got dressed. Kan was still beside her, bare-chested, sleeping sweetly. Worried he’d wake and scream, she planned to slip away first.

Just as Eria finished putting on her underwear, Kan stirred and opened his eyes slightly. Their eyes met so directly that Eria froze, holding her breath like a thief caught in the act.

“Dame Eria?”

Kan called her in a sleepy voice. The voice that had called her while moving on top of her last night suddenly echoed in her ears, giving her goosebumps.

‘Forget it, forget it! Now that I’d had the first experience I’d so desperately wanted, I just wanted to forget it!’

“Is something wrong?”

Eria frowned and bowed her head, and Kan sat up, worried.

Eria shook her head vigorously and took a breath.

“First, um, put on some clothes.”

Thankfully, Kan didn’t panic. He just said, “Ah…” and reached for his clothes.

“And about what happened last night… I mean, we…”

“Yes. We slept together.”

When Eria hesitated, Kan answered for her. She nodded. Yes, that.

“This is a weird question, but… you weren’t a v*rgin, right?”

“It was my first time.”

At his answer, Eria felt despair. She felt like she’d ruined the future of a handsome young man, and even felt sorry for Kan.

“…Sorry. I drank too much last night.”

“I’m not sure what you’re apologizing for.”

“For taking your first time. You might not have wanted it… and I’m your superior.”

Eria couldn’t meet Kan’s eyes, looking everywhere else and stammering. After a moment, he replied.

“I liked it. It wasn’t something I did because my superior ordered me.”

“Huh?”

“I liked it.”

Kan smiled. Eria blinked and swallowed. Why was her heart racing?

“Then, well, it’s my first time too, so… let’s just think of it comfortably.”

Kan nodded.

“Haa…”

She said that, but she didn’t feel at ease at all. Kan said it was fine, but she still felt guilty and sorry. Eria sighed deeply, and Kan tilted his head.

“Was I bad last night?”

“No, it’s not that…”

Trying to act composed, Eria’s face went red. She’d hesitated because it was embarrassing to say out loud, but Kan asked so easily. And ‘Was I bad?’—she couldn’t even pretend not to remember. Suddenly, she was at a loss for words.

“So?”

“I have nothing to compare it to!”

Flustered, that was all she could say. Kan gave a faint smile at her words.

“Did you enjoy it too, Dame Eria?”

“Were you always this talkative?”

“Are you embarrassed now?”

Why did it feel like he was teasing her? She was dying of embarrassment, but Kan seemed perfectly relaxed. Eria glared and bit her lower lip.

“Who’s embarrassed? Not me.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

This time, his question was gentle and sincere. The sudden directness made Eria stare blankly before nodding hard.

“So, were you trying to run away just now?”

“Run away? What are you talking about…”

“If I hadn’t woken up, you would’ve sneaked out. You look exactly like someone about to run away.”

Eria was sitting on the edge of the small bed, dressing as quietly as possible—anyone would think she was trying to escape. But she denied it to the end.

“I just wanted to get some fresh air. Run away? What do you take me for?”

“You said you’d take responsibility for me last night. You can’t run away. Surely a knight doesn’t go back on their word?”

“Me? When did I…!”

‘Did I? Maybe I did.’ 

Eria stopped and pressed her lips together. Seeing her face, Kan realized she remembered and grinned.