Chapter 4.4

Liz sat blankly in the attic.  

The attic, once a familiar and comfortable space, no longer felt so to Liz.  

It was because memories of the time she had spent with him lingered everywhere.  

She had first met him sitting on the windowsill, and she had drawn him sitting on a chair.  

She had embraced him while sitting on the windowsill, and she had drawn him while sitting on a chair.

“Ha….”

Liz let out a deep sigh.  

The more she thought about it, the gloomier she felt, but she didn’t want to just sit idly.  

That wasn’t in her nature.  

Liz forced herself to get up.  

Her belongings, hastily moved to the attic, were piled up haphazardly.

“Well, this is good. Let’s tidy up.”

Cleaning her surroundings when her mind was troubled was Liz’s habit.  

Liz began to unpack her belongings but then hesitated.

‘I won’t be staying in this attic forever….’

Of course, this attic was more than just an attic; it even had a small bathroom.  

So, if she wanted to, she could live here.  

But she didn’t think she would stay here for long.  

She couldn’t, and she didn’t want to.  

So Liz changed her mind and began organizing only the essentials.  

Instead, she stored the easel, painting board, and other art supplies in the built-in closet.

‘After all, I won’t be painting for a while.’

The room slowly transformed from a romantic atelier into an ordinary living space.  

As she tidied the room, Liz discovered something.

“This is….”

Liz frowned.  

Deep inside the wardrobe, she found the portrait she had painted of Valentine.  

The very portrait he had torn in half with his own hands.  

Liz carefully pulled out the painting.  

The portrait was torn in half, separating Isabel and Valentine.  

Liz traced the torn edges with a peculiar expression.  

The rough texture of the canvas brushed against her fingertips.  

Perhaps, just perhaps, there might come a day when Valentine would need this painting again.  

Thinking this, Liz let out a bitter smile.

-Knock, knock.

A knock sounded on the door.  

Liz quickly put the portrait away and approached the door.

“Valentine?”

But it wasn’t Valentine who entered.

“Excuse me. May I come in for a moment?”

The visitor was none other than Gerald.  

Caught off guard by Gerald’s sudden visit, Liz swallowed nervously.  

Back then, she could face him confidently, but now the situation was different.  

She didn’t feel like having a conversation.

“…I was under the impression that only His Grace could enter this room, Lord.”

Liz spoke defensively.  

Fortunately, Gerald didn’t argue and simply nodded.

“Understood. Then I will only deliver this.”

“This? What is it…?”

Liz asked, puzzled.  

Gerald lowered his voice as he spoke.

“I’ve been withholding it under His Grace’s orders….”

From his coat, Gerald pulled out a document envelope.

“These are the letters addressed to ‘Miss Liz Garrett’ that have arrived during this time.”

“Ah…?”

Letters for Liz Garrett? It was an item she hadn’t expected to see from Gerald.  

But thinking back to what her father or Theodore had said, it made sense.  

It seemed Valentine had been restricting letters sent to Liz.

“They were originally supposed to be returned, but… I gathered them here instead. If you don’t want them, I’ll dispose of them.”

Gerald held out the envelope.

“What will you do?”

Liz could guess why Gerald was handing her the letters.  

It was probably his way of telling her to return to being Liz Garrett.  

She hadn’t made up her mind yet, but she didn’t want to live in ignorance.

“…Give them to me.”

Liz took the envelope. Her eyes met Gerald’s.

Liz quietly asked,  

“Do you dislike me, Lord?”  

Gerald shook his head.  

“No. On the contrary, I hold you in high regard. Haven’t I told you this before?”  

Gerald let out a long sigh.  

“It’s a shame. A truly regrettable and unfortunate matter. However….”  

However.  

Liz hated that word.  

The words that always followed “however” had always made Liz sad.  

“Liz, you’re very precious, too.”  

However, because her father was struggling. Because her mother was ill. Because her brother was better.  

In front of that “however,” Liz always had to take a step back.  

This time was no different.  

“However, I care for Winchester a little more.”  

“Yes, I know.”  

Liz responded with a familiar smile.  

When would she be able to erase the “however” that lingered behind her?  

Gerald quietly looked at Liz before bowing with proper etiquette.  

It was clearly the kind of bow reserved for a superior.  

“…Thank you, Lord.”  

After Gerald left, Liz quietly locked the door and opened the document envelope.  

She didn’t feel entirely comfortable keeping secrets from Valentine, but for now, there was no other choice.  

Not only for herself but also for Gerald, who would be put in a difficult position.  

Liz rationalized it this way as she poured the letters onto the table.  

“…There are more than I expected.”  

Liz scanned the letters with surprised eyes.  

A few were from her father, but more than twenty were from Theodore.  

Liz swallowed nervously and picked up one of Theodore’s letters.  

Before opening it, she glanced at the door.  

‘I locked it, so… no one can come in, right?’  

Murmuring to herself, Liz opened the letter.  

All the envelopes had already been opened.  

This meant that Valentine had read them first.  

Realizing this, Liz frowned slightly.  

Reading someone else’s letters without permission.  

No matter how close their relationship was, it was an uncomfortable thing.  

But it was too late to complain now.  

Liz sighed and took out the oldest letter.  

The date was from spring, around the time Liz had first arrived at Winchester.  

Liz, it was so nice to see you after so long.  

Seeing you brought back so many memories. Back then….  

…Was Miss Isabel unwell?  

You must’ve had a hard time. But you looked beautiful.  

Let’s stay in touch from now on. If there’s anything I can help with, just let me know.  

Theodore must have thought this play was just a temporary arrangement.  

Not only Theodore, but most of the guests present at the time must have thought so. Even Liz herself had thought so.  

Liz let out a bitter smile as she pulled out the next letter.  

Liz, is it difficult for you to reply?  

I contacted Myra, and they said something outrageous.  

I couldn’t believe it, so I’m sending this letter to Winchester.  

I don’t know what happened between Myra and Winchester, but I hope you’re healthy and happy.  

I met Uncle Finley. He said you’re at Winchester, but my letters keep getting returned.  

Are you safe? Uncle will come to see you soon.  

I want to visit you myself, but… I’m not your family.  

At times like this, I wish we were family.  

Then we could talk more freely.  

Family. That word weighed heavily on Liz’s heart.  

Theodore had once truly felt like family to Liz.  

But they had already left their childhood behind.  

In the end, it was Liz who had asked Theodore to use formal language with her, essentially asking him to grow up.  

And the family Liz chose as an adult was Valentine Winchester.  

But what was Valentine doing now?  

“Right now, dealing with what’s happening comes first.”  

Liz bitterly recalled his words.  

At this moment, he was probably sitting face-to-face with Isabel.  

Of course, he was doing his best, but couldn’t he have spared even a moment to speak with her?  

Liz let out a long sigh and opened the next letter.  

“This… isn’t a letter addressed to me.”  

It was a letter Theodore had sent to Winchester.  

Did you really cast Liz out?  

Even if she’s just a mere maid to you, Your Grace, she’s a dear friend to me.  

I earnestly ask that you at least let me know her whereabouts.  

The firmly pressed handwriting tugged at her heart.  

There were three or four similar letters. Judging by their content, they seemed to have been ignored.  

This must have ultimately led Theodore to make the mistake of reaching out to Myra.  

Even the other letters contained no resentment toward Liz.  

Even after parting ways at the art gallery, his letters were filled with concern for her.  

After Liz officially appeared in society as the “Duchess of Winchester,” he had sent her several letters.  

The letters expressed concern about her reputation or suggested consulting with Finley.  

‘…So it really was Theodore who told my father.’  

The day Finley came to the Winchester Estate to find her had been emotionally overwhelming.  

She had felt humiliated, angry, and apologetic all at once.  

But now it seemed Theodore had tried to discuss it with her several times beforehand.  

‘And yet Valentine didn’t tell me anything.’  

If he had read these letters, he could have anticipated the situation.  

A sense of disappointment surged, but Liz quickly shook her head.  

“…Enough. I need to stop thinking like this.”  

Liz no longer wanted to read the letters. In the end, it would only increase her frustration with Valentine.  

Liz put the bundle of letters back into the document envelope.  

At that moment, one letter fell out of the envelope and onto the floor.  

The letter was crumpled as if it had been tightly gripped.  

‘……?’  

Most of the other letters had been neatly stored.  

Perhaps that’s why Liz’s hand instinctively reached for the crumpled letter.  

Liz carefully unfolded it.  

One sentence in the letter caught her eye.  

Marry me instead, Liz. Be my family.