The wooden door closed and she was out of the lady’s sight, and the tension released all at once. She couldn’t hold back the rising tide any longer.

Disgusting as it must have been, Eva lifted her apron and caught it. The thought that she should stop had long since been crushed under the pressure of her turning insides. She’d heave once and try to catch her breath, only for it to come again, her head aching like it was being wrung out, tears pouring from her eyes.

When it finally felt like she’d expelled her actual organs, she was shaking, and the sensation of Eva’s hands wiping her face clean of everything brought her back to herself. She could see the other maid gathering up Eva’s ruined apron to deal with it.

The corridor reeked of sourness. It’s disgusting…… it must be so disgusting…… The clearer her head became, the larger the guilt grew.

“I’m sorry, Eva.”

She forced the apology out through her raw throat, and Eva’s hand, holding the handkerchief, paused. Then she said in a firm voice:

“Don’t apologize.”

She folded the handkerchief to hide the soiled side, turned the clean face outward, and dabbed beneath her eyes as she said it again.

“You don’t need to apologize.”

Heat was visibly rising in Eva’s hands and face. Marilyn had nothing else to offer but silence, and she simply let herself be tended to.

“She needs to let you stop. This is *buse. Of course…… if you ask whether it wasn’t already *buse before, I can’t argue, but it keeps getting worse.”

Eva tidied her up roughly in the corridor and brought her to her room to wash her face and hands properly. When she saw her red, raw eyes and nose, Eva’s own face went redder than hers, and after fuming for a good while, she marched her to the butler’s room and delivered a passionate speech. Marilyn kept her head down, feeling guilty that she was causing a commotion between adults on her account.

The butler listened in silence, looked back and forth between Eva and Marilyn, and let out one long breath. The scrutiny made her feel even more self-conscious, and she was starting to fidget and wish she could just go home when he stepped toward her.

He gently swept the hair from her face with his hand and looked her over carefully. She wasn’t sure whether to close her eyes or meet his gaze, so she stared vaguely at the air somewhere in between and endured the uncomfortable stretch of time.

He finished his inspection shortly and returned to his seat, where he called another maid and gave her various instructions. Then he had Eva and Marilyn sit in chairs at a four-person table in one corner of the study. A fragrant cup of tea was set in front of her. It smelled of herbs and faint lemon, warm and sweet, and a single sip smoothed out her stomach.

“Finish that and have another cup. It’s good for the stomach and brings down a fever.”

At the butler’s words, she swallowed more eagerly. He watched her for a moment, then spoke.

“About two weeks now, hasn’t it? You’ve lasted longer than most. You’ve been right there beside her, so it’s hardly news to you, but the lady is…… rather singular.”

She could tell he was choosing his words carefully.

“The other children who quit after a few days, the reasons are all more or less the same. At first it seems bearable enough, but the next day it’s worse, and the day after that worse still, until there’s no enduring it.”

“If it gets any worse from here, we’ll be clearing away a body within days!”

“Calm down, Eva. Preventing that is our job.”

The butler gently settled Eva, who couldn’t seem to bring her temper down, and then told Marilyn things she could have died of happiness hearing. The time had come to change companions. He already had another candidate in mind, and the lady always grew bored quickly and loved novelty, so she’d never once held back a companion who said they wanted to quit.

Marilyn thought that was the lady’s one redeeming quality. She did feel sorry for whoever came next, but…… she wasn’t kind enough to want to be pitied in someone else’s place.

They’d tell the lady tomorrow, since her mood was foul tonight. The lady lost interest the moment she turned her head and forgot everything from the day before after sleeping, so once the timing was right and the next companion was called, Marilyn would be free. Free!

Every horrible thing that had happened until now felt as bright and warm as the tea she was drinking.

She’d miss the silver coins a little, but the thought that going to work as a maid in some other household and doing laundry all day would at least be easier on her mind made the regret vanish entirely. Her parents had been worried sick that she might do something wrong and earn a noble’s wrath, so if she told them she was quitting, they’d be relieved and glad.

Eva and the butler, seeing her expression brighten, let some of the tension ease from their own faces. They seemed genuinely troubled by the business of sending children in to the lady.

The strangest thing of all was that the lady herself, who bent so many people to her will and made their lives miserable, didn’t seem particularly happy either.

“You’ve worked hard……”

The butler smiled at her with his lightly lined face and glanced at Eva. He’d probably been about to say you’ve worked hard and call her by name, only to realize he didn’t know it and was silently asking Eva to tell him.

But Eva had no way of knowing a name nobody had ever asked about and that Marilyn had never offered, so she only looked back at her too. Feeling their eyes on her, Marilyn finally said her name aloud.

“It’s Marilyn.”

“Marilyn……?”

Both of them blinked in surprise for a moment, then their expressions settled into understanding. She took that well. If they’d responded to a girl’s name by asking why a boy had such a girlish name, or acted shocked as though they’d never suspected for a moment she might be a girl, she’d have been hurt, and she knew it.

“I see. Your parents are wise. A girl your age coming to a place like this alone, without a guardian, is cause for worry. I was aware that the lady’s…… reputation hadn’t spread in the most favorable way through the village.”

Her mother had simply bought boys’ clothes cheaply and put her in them, but Marilyn decided not to correct the butler. Even if unintentional, letting it reflect well on her parents was a form of filial piety, and she had never once failed to be a devoted daughter.

“I thought it was because you weren’t eating enough. You’re so small and slight…… oh, I mean for a boy. For a girl you’re just right. Forget I said anything.”

Eva pressed her lips to her cheek and stroked her hair as she said it. The warm touch of lips and hand made something soft and buoyant rise in her chest.

“The timing worked out. I understand why you dressed as a boy, but if the lady had found out, it could have caused real trouble. Well, they change so quickly, I suppose there wasn’t much chance of being found out.”

The butler rustled around at his desk for a moment, then came over and held out something small and glittering. A few chocolates wrapped in shiny paper. The chocolates, about the size of quail eggs, looked expensive even at a glance.

“I haven’t got much else to give you right now. Eat them on your way out.”

She tucked them carefully into her pocket and bowed in thanks. When she looked up, the butler’s face held the faint disappointment of someone who’d expected something and not received it.

Oh! She quickly fished one chocolate out of her pocket and popped it into her mouth.

What had been solid melted on her tongue like liquid the moment it touched her mouth. Not cloyingly sweet like sugar, but leaving behind a gentle fragrance and a soft, lingering flavor. She’d known chocolate existed but had never tasted it, and it was the kind of thing she’d steal to eat again.

“It’s so good!”

The butler’s face finally settled into satisfaction. He’d been waiting to see her light up over the chocolate.

“My daughter likes them too.”

The way he smiled saying it looked, somehow, a little sad.

“Now, be careful, it’s hot. The lady’s heart isn’t entirely rotten after all, it seems.”

What Eva held at the door wasn’t the usual bread but an earthenware pot with something brothy inside. It had a lid fitted over it and was wrapped in cloth, easy to carry by hand.

“What’s this?”

“Chicken soup. Made with a young bird, so there’s no gamey smell and the meat is very tender. The lady told them to give it to you.”

Even saying so, Eva didn’t tell her to be grateful to the lady, and Marilyn didn’t ask her to pass along any thanks. Eva slipped a silver coin into the pocket that didn’t hold the chocolates, then took both her hands and wrapped them firmly around the pot before letting go.