Emily’s expression changed instantly. Her eyes held both questioning why I would be curious about such a thing and a hint of suspicion. The tense atmosphere made me lie without thinking.

“Oh, I actually fought with Rebecca yesterday, so I thought it might be awkward if we ran into each other.”

“Rebecca… no one’s seen her since last night. Charles has been going around asking everyone if they’ve seen her.”

Rebecca’s disappearance probably wasn’t just a coincidence. Though I couldn’t be certain of anything, it seemed connected to the strange man I’d seen last night. Just when I was wondering whether I should tell Emily what I witnessed, she added:

“I heard earlier that people are whispering again about how the Herlin family specter took another woman. Does that even make sense? She probably just left on her own because something came up.”

“But doesn’t that seem… strange somehow?”

“What’s strange about it?”

“She bragged in front of everyone about how she’d move out and live with Charles in two months. For someone like that to disappear without a word….”

“Well, Rebecca must have her own reasons. Or maybe she found herself another decent man.”

“But….”

“Do you actually believe some mansion specter that might not even exist took Rebecca? Even a five-year-old wouldn’t believe such ridiculous nonsense.”

“I suppose that’s true….”

“Now that you’ve come to your senses, get up and let’s go to work. Chef Ralph is already on edge because there’s a lot of vegetables to prep today.”

Emily shook her head, clearly not wanting to discuss it further. Her firm attitude left me no choice but to get up. I decided I’d tell her later when another opportunity arose.

A worker’s day at the Herlin estate was simple. Kitchen maids like Emily and me took turns preparing breakfast, then worked together on lunch and dinner. 

Usually our work finished before evening, leaving us with plenty of free time. At other estates, we would have worked day and night without rest, so in that regard, the Herlin estate could be called paradise.

Actually, the best part was that the estate’s master never showed his face to the servants. Apart from the butler who’d been here so long that people couldn’t even remember when he arrived, none of us knew who our employer was, what he looked like, whether he was a wealthy commoner or a noble of high rank.

Even Chef Ralph in the kitchen said he’d never prepared separate meals for the master, so we weren’t even sure if he was still alive.

Instead of this unknown employer, the butler managed the estate, giving us simple tasks and ensuring we received our wages punctually. So once people started working here, they stayed at the Herlin estate where they didn’t need to worry about temperamental nobles and received generous pay.

Just when I thought today would end peacefully like any other, Charles approached me with an urgent expression.

“Eliat, do you have a moment?”

Charles, usually known for his neat appearance, looked completely disheveled today. He hadn’t shaved, leaving his chin dark with stubble, and his hair stuck out in unruly tufts. His reddened eyes showed anxiety and unease.

I could guess why he’d come to find me without hearing his reason.

‘It must be about Rebecca.’

From what I’d heard, Charles was going around asking everyone about Rebecca’s whereabouts. And just like I expected, no one had any news of her.

“Say what you need to say.”

“Have you… seen Rebecca today by any chance? She’s not the type to go somewhere without telling me… she just suddenly disappeared….”

At that moment, I briefly considered whether to tell him what I’d witnessed last night. From all appearances, the man with golden eyes seemed connected to Rebecca’s disappearance.

But I had no evidence beyond floating rumors to make such a claim. Besides, how could I tell him that his girlfriend had been sucking another man’s member in the middle of the night?

No matter how gentle Charles’s nature, he might fly into a rage upon hearing my words. I had no choice but to shake my head.

“No, I haven’t seen her.”

“I see…. Sorry for interrupting your work. I know you and Rebecca weren’t on good terms, but I’m just so frustrated…. If you happen to see her later, could you please let me know?”

“Sure, I will.”

I felt sorry watching Charles’s dejected figure trudging away. Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t look away easily. I watched him until he left the kitchen, then resumed my interrupted work.

The day passed quickly. Unlike yesterday, I visited the bathroom three times before bed tonight. I lay down after promising myself several times not to make the same mistake as yesterday.

‘Come to think of it, what really happened to Rebecca? Could that man actually be the Herlin family specter from the rumors? But he seemed like a living person….’

I’d pondered this question intermittently while working, but there were limits to what I could discover. This estate had no portraits of the master’s family, and no one claimed to have seen them.

It would be suspicious to suddenly visit the butler and interrogate him about the master’s family. Besides, I’d already told Charles I knew nothing.

‘Of course, I’m curious about what happened… but I need to work at this estate for the money for the longest time possible. That’s the only way I can support my family.’

I had too many younger siblings to take risks just to satisfy simple curiosity. Seven younger siblings, to be exact. I wasn’t even the eldest—I had three older siblings above me.

Our mother brought men home whenever she needed money, whenever she needed something, whenever she was hungry. We didn’t know who they were. We didn’t try to find out either.

One thing was certain: when strange men came to our house, another nightmarish evening would begin. Even with all of us present in that cramped, crumbling house, mother and the men paid no attention. They focused entirely on becoming one with strangers, screaming like beasts driven by instinct.

When their gasping cries struck like lightning, sticky, lewd smells would linger around our noses. 

Some were violent men who seemed ready to beat mother to death, others tried to assault us children. One young sibling died stabbed by a stranger’s knife.

Back then, I didn’t understand why we had to endure such things, why my siblings all looked different, why the neighbors pointed fingers at us calling us dirty. When I finally learned the truth, what mother and those strange men had done became sin in my eyes.

Things that shouldn’t be done—dirty, vile things.

When these stained memories filled the nights of my childhood like stars in the night sky, I left home and started working. I sent every penny I earned home without spending any on myself. Just occasionally confirming that my siblings were doing well provided great comfort.

‘This time I must buy Maria some pencils. She’s been quiet since Matia died… maybe drawing pictures she loves will help her feel a little better.’

Such thoughts actually calmed my mind. What mattered most was family. So the guilt I felt about missing Rebecca and Charles searching for her would fade away someday, just like with the others who had disappeared before.

Just when I was slowly closing my eyes to fall asleep, when my clear consciousness was about to fade like a candle flickering in the wind, the face of the golden-eyed man suddenly appeared.

Though the boundary between boy and young man remained ambiguous, his eyes were dried out like an old man faded by long years.

Rebecca’s moans that had filled the surroundings, the hot heat, and his beautiful appearance kept flickering in my mind. Then he smiled brightly at me. It was a smile beautiful enough to melt one’s breath.

The n*ked Rebecca disappeared, and suddenly only he and I existed in this place. I couldn’t tell if this was a dream or reality. The sensation was vivid to the point of being terrible.

This time he gestured toward me. I couldn’t muster the courage to approach and just watched his face from afar. What was truly strange was that even though I didn’t move, the distance between us slowly narrowed. And before I knew it, I had reached him.

Just meeting the jewel-like beautiful man’s eyes bound my heart tight. My entire body felt tied up with rope, unable to move even a finger. All my senses focused solely on his gaze and gestures. Finally, his red lips curved in a graceful arc and slowly moved.

『Eliat.』

It wasn’t the cold voice he’d used toward Rebecca. It was a voice warm like sunlight and gentle like spring breeze. Just hearing my name from his lips made my chest swell. I couldn’t breathe. One side of my chest tingled and seemed to fill with hot flames.