Chapter 1. A Fracturing Relationship

Like most arranged marriages among nobility, neither of us wanted this union. The cracks in our relationship, flawed from the beginning, became irreparable when my husband, Alex, took in a mistress.

My husband’s family, the Floredo County, had always been merchants who made their fortune in trade. Though not frequent, there were times when my husband personally ventured out to establish new business connections, as was the case this time.

In our third year of marriage, Alex returned home after a five-month absence for trade business. Though we weren’t particularly close, I had grown somewhat fond of him during our time together and was genuinely happy about his return.

If only that happiness could have lasted longer.

Standing awkwardly beside my returned husband was a young woman. She had a delicate frame that seemed almost weightless and fairy-like features. Yet strangely, she was wrapped in bandages from head to toe. Blood faintly seeped through the bandages on her arms. Removing those bandages would likely reveal horrific wounds.

A young, beautiful woman covered in terrible injuries. What connection could she possibly have with my husband that brought her all the way to the Floredo County mansion, located at the very edge of the Empire?

“Who is she?” I asked Alex out of genuine curiosity before suspicion. He cleared his throat a couple of times before answering.

That was when my foreboding became reality.

“I rescued her from pirates while on business.”

Pirates? Rescue? Up to that point, I could understand.

But…

“If you rescued her, that’s fine, but I don’t understand why you brought her to our home.”

The reason a man brings a beautiful woman home after rescuing her was all too obvious.

Nevertheless, I didn’t jump to conclusions. Despite his indifference toward me, Alex was a man who understood propriety.

At least, that’s what I believed then.

A belief that would soon shatter completely.

“I’m tired. I’d like to go in and rest. I was thinking we could give the girl a guest room.”

Alex refused further discussion. Instead, he decided the woman’s fate. His unilateral decision was closer to an order.

Though he asked with a seemingly accommodating tone, the look in his eyes was far from a request. An unmistakable coldness resided in those blue eyes.

A look I’d never seen before.

In that moment, I instinctively understood.

What this woman meant to Alex. That he hadn’t brought a mere maid or temporary guest.

And about a year later, when autumn returned again, I became certain my suspicions were correct.

Along with the path I needed to take.

✿✿✿

The woman my husband brought in was named Ilina, meaning “snowflake” in the old language.

True to her name, Ilina was an extremely frail yet beautiful woman. Even I felt something like a protective instinct when seeing her in the guest room.

The problem was that my husband might have felt the same protective instinct. And that his feelings might not stop at mere protection.

When Ilina had stayed in the guest room for about three months, my husband asked me to clean the second annex.

The count’s residence consisted of four buildings, each with its own purpose.

The first annex was for entertaining guests, the main building was Alex’s personal space, the inner quarters were my space as the mistress of the mansion.

And the second annex…

“Do you intend to make her your mistress?”

…was where previous counts had housed their mistresses and children born from those relationships.

From the time of the previous count, known for being devoted to his wife, to Alex, who had been far from women’s company with not even a rumor of romance before marriage, the second annex had been empty for quite some time.

Without human touch, dust had accumulated heavily, which was why Alex asked me to clean it.

In short, he meant to take Ilina as his mistress and wanted me to provide the fourth floor for her.

“Mistress? Don’t you think that’s too harsh a term?”

“…Too harsh?”

Yet despite the clarity of the situation, Alex denied the truth. When I asked again in disbelief, he nodded as if it were obvious and looked at me with evident displeasure.

“You seem to view my relationship with her too narrowly.”

“Narrow… ly?”

“Yes. I understand why you might misunderstand the situation. But it’s not like that. I simply want to protect her.”

Though he spoke like a benevolent guardian sponsoring an orphan, I remembered the look in his eyes when he first brought her. His eyes were those of a man desiring a woman.

Nevertheless, I pretended not to see that look. And this was the result.

“Ah, protection.”

I felt something crumbling inside my chest. Throughout the Empire, nobles generally kept two or three mistresses. So it wasn’t at all improper for him, as head of a count’s family, to take one mistress.

Yet he insisted to the end that providing the fourth floor for Ilina wasn’t about making her his mistress. I didn’t like his attitude.

I wished he would just be honest. Weren’t we husband and wife? And Alex…

‘No, perhaps it was all my misunderstanding.’

I swallowed the thought that suddenly crossed my mind.

This was merely a contract marriage. An alliance formed out of mutual necessity, nothing more, nothing less.

Was there ever trust between us?

If I thought there was, it was just my delusion.

I was the foolish one.

“Fine. I’ll have the maids clean the fourth floor.”

I dislike pointless battles. I abandoned even the sarcasm I’d let slip out of frustration and quickly wrapped up the conversation.

“If there’s nothing else you need, I’ll be going now.”

That’s when it happened. After a long silence without any response to my words, Alex, who had been maintaining his displeased expression, finally spoke.

He addressed me as I was about to stand up.

“Perhaps.”

His voice automatically drew my gaze toward him. I tilted my head questioningly.

“What is it?”

“Perhaps, my wife.”

At that moment, I felt hope. Ridiculously, the emotion I harbored then can only be described as “hope.”

Hope that he might withdraw all his decisions, that he might understand my feelings a little.

All turned to bubbles in mere seconds after I harbored those emotions.

“…Are you perhaps angry?”

“……”

“No, it’s just that I don’t think I’ve ever seen you angry before, always so composed.”

After my hope vanished like bubbles, what came rushing in was the weight of three months.

The past three months when I had to treat my husband’s guest as my own with utmost hospitality.

And now, preparing space for a guest-turned-mistress with my own hands.

Why me?

“What if I am angry?”

By the time I realized my shameful feelings—which I had denied—were escaping between my lips as anger, it was too late.

Perhaps nothing had been a misunderstanding. Alex seemed to be deliberately provoking me.

That was only possible because he knew every nuance of the bond and subtle emotional exchanges built between us as a couple over the years. But why?

Why stage such a childish provocation? I couldn’t understand him at all. Had he harbored some stupid inferiority complex toward me? But whatever the reason, it didn’t matter anymore. ‘You were the first to betray our trust, Alex.’

“If I’m angry, will you withdraw all your requests?”

“……”

“If that was your intention in bringing this up, that’s good.”

I raised my stiffened lips into a smile and looked straight into my husband’s eyes.

Then I opened my lips and let out the words I’d been suppressing without filter.

“You said you brought her here to protect her? That’s a nice sentiment. I hope you maintain it until the end. But please don’t drag me into this.”

This was a warning. A warning that I would no longer tolerate if he continued to test my patience with foolish provocations.

“Honestly, I don’t see why a grown woman needs protection, nor did I marry to tend to your mistress. As my father’s substantial investment proves.”

This marriage was an investment. Not the common, low-class marriage in Imperial society that demanded only a woman’s sacrifice.

Having said my piece, I walked straight out of his office to my room without looking back.

I said what needed to be said. No regrets.

That’s what I told myself.

Yet the unsettled feeling remained. Perhaps because I knew what the future would bring.

The consequences of this discord with my husband.

✿✿✿

From that day—when I refused my husband’s request to clean the fourth floor for Ilina—the distance between Alex and me gradually increased.

Meals we always shared when he was in the castle, occasional encounters in the garden leading to walks together.

These gradually diminished until they disappeared entirely.

The servants of the count’s residence gossiped that I had lost to Ilina. At first, it was bearable. It was to be expected, and I even thought it natural that rumors would follow after gaining freedom.

So it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. How many times did I repeat this to myself?

When I walked through the mansion as usual, the gazes directed at me felt like awls. Once I left, they would surely talk about me again.

They would gossip about how I lost my husband’s attention to a mistress of unknown origin. I could clearly imagine it without seeing it.

My maid Sherry comforted me, saying one can’t be well-regarded by everyone. But her words brought me no comfort. I became hyperaware. Excessively so.

Every second, every moment was pressure and continuous h*ll for me. I even missed the days when my husband and I were merely cordial. At least then, I wasn’t compared to others. I’m just me, so why keep comparing me to others? When stress reached its peak, I came down with a severe cold. Due to esophagitis, I vomited all medication along with refluxing stomach acid.

Seeing no improvement in my condition, my lady’s maid Sherry, who had served me since before I married into the count’s family, suggested an alternative.

“You know there’s a coastal area a little distance from Floredo County? Since you like water, how about taking a trip?”

A trip seemed impossible with my illness, but Sherry was right. She recognized that the cause of my severe cold lay not in my body but in my mind.

Finding comfort in having someone who understood me, I readily agreed to her suggestion.

Some maids expressed concern about traveling with a cold, but no one dared contradict the countess’s orders.

So I set off on my journey.

Riding in a carriage, enjoying unfamiliar scenery and fresh air through the window, I soon reached my destination.

Golden sandy beaches with emerald waters stretching beyond.

Sherry was right again. Not long after departing, the relaxed atmosphere of the resort relaxed my mind as well. Since the illness originated from my mind, the fever quickly subsided.

There was one dangerous moment, but overall it was a successful trip. I even made a new friend.

After an enjoyable month, I headed back to the county, leaving everything behind. Though reluctant and unwilling, that place was where I needed to return.

After all, I was the mistress of the count’s household.

✿✿✿

Upon arriving at the mansion, I was greeted by the familiar atmosphere, different from the resort. With my lightened body and mind, I didn’t immediately feel the usual dread.

The problem came afterward.

As I headed toward my room on the third floor, the butler and maids blocked my way. When I glared at them, they sighed and stepped aside as if revealing something they had been hiding.

So I entered the third floor and walked down the corridor toward my room.

How far had I walked? I couldn’t believe my ears.

Embarrassing sounds relentlessly penetrated my ears. And those sounds came from none other than my room.

I instructed Sherry and the other maids that they had neither seen nor heard anything today, then dismissed them all.

Afterward, I carefully opened the door alone. Two figures came into view. The man and woman showed themselves to each other without any shame.

And the man was none other than my husband, Alex. He was completely exposing himself—something he had never shown me, his wife—to Ilina, merely his mistress.

And in my room, no less.

Despite having a well-furnished fourth floor and his spacious room on the second floor, why would they do such a thing in my room?

‘How much must he disrespect me.’

What was I to him?

As doubt crept in, an unbelievable voice penetrated my ears.

“…This room will soon be yours.”

…It was my husband, Alex’s voice.

He was promising to give my place to his mistress.

Facing this shocking scene, my legs lost strength and I couldn’t stand properly. I collapsed right where I stood.

Though I knew I should get up, my legs wouldn’t obey. I realized that when a person is placed in extreme betrayal and emptiness, the body doesn’t listen.

It wasn’t just my legs that wouldn’t obey. I held my head high to suppress the tears that kept threatening to fall.

Don’t cry. Why are you crying?

I had never loved my husband. We were just an arranged marriage, and he simply took a mistress like any other nobleman. So crying out of love made no sense.

Yet the tears came simply because I was angry.

‘…It’s my room, why are they doing this here?’

I tightly gripped the hem of my dress. I could hardly bear my anger toward Alex, who was spouting nonsense about giving my room to someone.

Having finally gotten up, I thought about flinging the door wide open and surprising them with my bold entrance.

But thinking again, wasn’t that exactly what they wanted?

The two of them having an affair in my bedroom on the day of my return from travel. Perhaps they heard me opening the door. Otherwise, how could such words be heard the moment I opened it?

If not, it would mean they had been playing in my bedroom every day since I left for my trip. Had they been saying such things all along? About giving away my room?

But regardless of the truth, one fact remained unchanged.

‘I don’t want to be played with in any way.’

I didn’t want to be their toy. Nor did I want to be the unfortunate countess who lived like an immobile doll, only to be cast aside by her husband and his mistress.

From the moment I realized this, perhaps my path was already determined.

I headed to the government office.

✿✿✿

I returned to the mansion with divorce papers stamped with the official seal from the government office.

Afterward, I immediately headed to my room.

Standing before the door, an ominous feeling swept over me. Would they still be here? But it didn’t matter. What was there to worry about entering my own room?

When I finally pulled the doorknob, fortunately—should I say—the room was empty. Only the messy bed hinted at what had happened just before.

This made everything clear.

My bedroom, left uncleaned and neglected despite knowing I would return. A situation that could only be interpreted as deliberate.

So this was deception.

‘It’s also a kind of signal.’

To leave this mansion.

Though somewhat sudden, it wasn’t strange. Isn’t that how relationships between men and women are? Something that can burn intensely with a moment’s contact.

During the month I was away, how many countless contacts had occurred between them? What made them desire each other so much?

For four years, though not love, we were bound by the name of husband and wife. We knew each other well enough, and our trust didn’t seem so shallow. Yet those four years were about to crumble because of just one month. My husband chose a young, beautiful mistress he had known for less than a year over me, his wife and companion of four years.