Side Story

“Why? Have you suddenly developed feelings that weren’t there before?”

What filled Assel’s red eyes as he spoke was distrust.

I no longer believe any words or actions from you.

Like an injured young animal that no longer craves its mother’s milk after several rejections and deceptions.

“It’s not… it’s not like that! Please listen to me. I……”

“I can no longer trust you.”

Finally, he cut off the chain of communication between us by himself.

Thud.

The door closed, and the man who had been so vivid until just now disappeared.

As if he had never existed in this space to begin with.

In the empty room, along with Assel’s scent, the words I had wanted to tell him lingered like ghosts.

……That it wasn’t like that, that I simply loved him.

But would anything have changed if I had said it?

You already don’t trust me, and I’ve become someone who can no longer give you trust.

In the empty room, that distinctive citrus scent lingered. 

When I closed my eyes, trying to savor it a little longer, did it grow weary of me? 

It drifted even farther away.

Now there’s no trace of him in the room. Nothing exists.

The emptiness of being completely alone. The realization that he has left, finally sinking in…

“Ah……”

I couldn’t breathe properly due to the overwhelming emotion.

‘Where did it go wrong, and how?’

My heart ached.

Feeling like it might burst at any moment, I pressed my palm firmly against my heart.

‘No, it’s okay. It’s okay.’

Is it really okay?

Like a sharp needle piercing a boil, a question soon overcame me, and a tear streamed down my cheek.

……Assel will not return now.

‘No, it’s not… okay at all.’

It was then.

When the door opened and a familiar voice echoed,

“Mommy.”

“Ely……sion?”

I raised my head.

At the same time, I faced Elysion.

As if preparing to leave, Elysion looked like a snowman, wearing several layers of thick clothes that didn’t match his small frame.

“Mommy, actually, I have someone to introduce to you.”

“……Introduce?”

An ominous premonition runs down my spine.

And soon that premonition became reality and walked into my sight.

Click, click.

“Daddy’s getting remarried.”

“……Re, married?”

When I opened my eyes wide at these unbelievable words, the shadow beside Elysion cleared, and a beautiful woman’s figure was finally revealed before my eyes.

The woman wearing a cream-colored dress that looked pure seemed noble.

Her gentle eye smile seemed like it would bring peace to the family.

“You’ve worked hard all this time. I heard you played the role of a fake wife. I’m Assel’s real mother.”

The woman said that.

‘Real mother.’

For a moment, I had the illusion that there was a crack in the ground where I stood. Had language always been such a destructively habitual being?

“I was recovering at his hotel because I was a bit sick. Now I’m all better, and since things have been settled with Miss Levedi, I’m thinking of returning to my original place.”

Original place…?

“The very place where Miss Levedi deceived my husband while wearing a dirty deal.”

It was at that moment.

The woman’s nails grew longer, and soon they turned as red as blood.

[Let go of Assel Esteban now.]

The voice was deep. I raised my head.

“……!”

The gentle woman from just before was nowhere to be seen; instead, a being too large and fearsome to be human stood before me.

As if sensing my fear, the woman burst into laughter.

[Don’t you have a conscience? You should know by now. You don’t deserve to be happy.]

It was at that very moment.

Crack—

The woman struck the ground with her nails, and as cracks formed in the ground, suddenly.

Craaaack!

[Goodbye, Levedi.]

“Goodbye, Mom.”

“Sion! Sion!”

My feet slipped into the crack in the ground. No matter how much I struggled, my body was already falling toward the floor.

Toward the endless abyss.

The figure of Elysion waving his hand in the distance gradually faded away.

❀❀❀

“Huff, huff……”

I breathed heavily.

My heart pounded, thump thump, and each of the previous events became a vivid imprint as if they were real, floating around in my head.

‘No, it’s all just a dream.’

It was while I was soothing my pounding heart.

“Levedi?”

A familiar and affectionate tone pulled me in.

More precisely, my wrist as well.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

I raised my head and looked directly at the man who had grabbed my wrist.

His ruby-colored eyes were gazing at me with concern.

“……Assel.”

I burrowed into his embrace.

His distinctive clean citrus scent stimulates my sense of smell.

The feeling of firm muscles, this spacious embrace that doesn’t fill up even when I burrow in.

Assel Esteban is in front of me, and I’m in his arms.

As I repeated that fact to myself, the turmoil in my heart seemed to subside a little.

“……Levedi?”

While I was frantically searching for evidence of him like that, a voice that sounded bewildered echoed in my ears.

Realizing that I might have looked a bit strange, I hastily pulled away from him.

“S-sorry.”

“……Your clothes are wet.”

However, what he actually focused on was a different point.

“What?”

“You’re sweating a lot….”

His large hand brushed my forehead.

“Did you perhaps have a bad dream?”

“……Ah, no. I’m fine.”

Actually, I dreamed that you left me.

My worst nightmare.

“Just… I remembered something from the past.”

“Is that so?”

Assel still looked worried and fiddled with my forehead, which was much smaller compared to his hand, then lowered his gaze to meet my eyes.

“Whatever it was, it must have been a very difficult memory.”

“Yes. It was a memory I never want to recall again.”

Assel’s hand, which had been touching my forehead, soon slid down and touched my round nose, lips, and chin in order.

That slow movement didn’t convey any s*xual intention.

It was a gentle touch, like a voice soothing me, asking if I was okay.

But why? Why doesn’t he take his eyes off me?

“A……ssel?”

He smiled shyly and removed his hand from me.

“I’m sorry. I was going to ask if you were okay, but you’re so beautiful……”

“What?”

My face turned bright red at his sudden confession.

“S-suddenly?”

“You look beautiful every day, but today you look even more beautiful. Our child will be this beautiful too, right?”

His gaze eventually passed my face and now turned toward my stomach, which had become quite swollen.

“May I touch it?”

At his careful request for permission, I nodded.

“Put your ear to it too, not just your hand. The baby’s been kicking.”

Assel carefully approached and put his ear to my stomach.

“It just moved!”

Wiggle.

He seemed amazed even by the small sensation; I couldn’t help but smile at Assel’s childlike wonder.

How is this man always so childlike?

I felt he had many mature aspects too, but his untainted purity, like a child’s, became more pronounced the longer we lived together.

Even now, after six months of pregnancy, he’s still amazed by a single movement like that.

“Is it that amazing?”

“Isn’t it amazing? It’s amazing that your flat stomach has swollen like this… I can’t believe there’s a baby growing here.”

Assel said with a dreamy tone, his ruby eyes shining.

“……And, that I’m lying here with you, who is pregnant with our child.”

At that moment, when our eyes met, my face somehow felt hot.

“It all feels like a dream, Levedi.”

At his soft-spoken words, I lowered my head deeply.

“……Me too.”

Recalling all that has happened, this moment feels even more like a dream.

Who would have known?

That I, who came to distrust men after my divorce, would come to love another man.

And that a man who had been hurt by the world would come to love a woman and share the same world with her.

“……Come to think of it, have I ever told you that I love you?”

“……Pardon?”

I can feel Assel flinching in surprise.

“I love you, Assel.”

He opened his eyes wide. As if he hadn’t expected such words to come from my mouth.

Looking at his astonished face, I whispered again,

“More than myself.”

“……”

“Just as you did for me.”

Assel’s face turned bright red up to his ears. As if unable to contain his embarrassment, he cleared his throat, and then, still looking at me with bewildered eyes, he said,

“As always.”

As he spoke, he wore silk pajamas of the same style as mine, but in a different color.

The two of us now sleep together, eat together, and live in the same house.

Not for any reason or purpose, but simply because we love each other and are husband and wife.

The nightmare that had tormented me all night faded.

I completely shook off that memory, which had become as faint as the thinning night air.

‘Yes, there’s no need to fear misfortunes that won’t happen.’

I now know.

That fear truly brings misfortune and makes us miss out on a more beautiful and happiness-filled life.

The reason we two are so happy is because we broke through our fears toward each other and faced them squarely.

❀❀❀

The Emperor’s palace was evaluated as having the most splendid and delicate architectural style even within the magnificent palace.

But having visited several times already, I no longer felt the same overwhelming sensation as the first time.

Somehow, it seems to have become a somewhat comfortable place for me.

“You’ve come, Madam Ophelia.”

The gatekeeper of the main palace greeted me familiarly.

He called me ‘Ophelia,’ not ‘Esteban.’

That’s because the Empire’s law had changed.

The Emperor wasn’t just someone who talked about me conquering the position of family head with my own strength.

The Emperor was often evaluated as a person of action originally.

Was he proving that statement?

After Assel and I reunited at the beach, he immediately summoned his ministers and proposed a law, which received final approval.

The content was as follows:

‘Regardless of whether they are a woman or a man, one can become the head of a family, or multiple families.’

It was about women now being able to become family heads.

‘While choosing a successor is the inherent right of the family head, if the method is not just, one can formally request a judgment from me, Yulisius Ricardo, who can be considered the feudal lord of all nobles.’

Since the Ricardo Empire had strong imperial power, no one could oppose this.

As per the expression ‘feudal lord,’ the Emperor was truly at the top of the feudal system, which is the foundation of society with lords and vassals, so there was no logic to oppose.

I heard there was still some mild resistance from male nobles who had ascended to the position of heir without ability.

But the decisive blow was this:

‘All of this is part of a policy to legitimize the reign of Crown Princess Estelia Ricardo, and it is specified that this law was created with the hope that the Empire can have a better societal appearance.’

The meaning of these words was that those who opposed this law would be considered as opposing the Crown Princess’s reign.

There was no one in the court brave enough to oppose a law made with good justification, especially while risking the displeasure of the Crown Princess, who would become the next Emperor.

However, as time passed and imperial power weakened, some discontented forces might potentially start a rebellion because of this law.

So now, the Emperor and I were racking our brains about this issue every day.

❀❀❀

“I think women should have more opportunities for education.”

Sitting across from each other in the office, the Emperor and I had chamomile and lemongrass placed in front of us according to our preferences.

As I was savoring the scent of chamomile, which calms the mind and body, Emperor Yulisius, who heard my words, chuckled.

“Right. Since it’s difficult for laws to change all at once, you mean to cultivate those with power in that direction?”

Since knowledge is the foundation and basis of all power formation.

“That’s right.”

Yulisius took a sip of lemongrass and nodded.

“You’re right. You and the Crown Princess were able to think this way because you had opportunities to learn. Actually, I had the same thought.”

“What thought?”

“How about establishing a women-only academy?”

“Hmm.”

“Your expression doesn’t look very good.”

That was correct.

At a glance, Yulisius’s words seemed right. The intention was good too.

“If we establish a women’s academy as Your Majesty said, there certainly won’t be any backlash from the existing male-dominated academies. But, thinking a bit more, I believe that which academy one graduated from might become a sort of class, leading to discrimination.”

“What about appointing a certain number of imperial administrators from each school?”

I shook my head.

“That’s like giving preferential treatment openly. Even if they’re women, they should face challenges fairly.”

“So you’re saying we should accept many female students into the existing academies?”

“Yes. Initially, there will certainly be many difficulties for the attending students. But, as their numbers increase one by one and become equal, actual equality will take root.”

“……”

“And for our next generation, perhaps the generation after that, all of this will become natural.”

Yulisius blinked his eyelids with a dazed expression as if enchanted, and then his eyes somehow turned red.

As if he was moved by my words.

“Your Majesty?”

“……It’s nothing.”

The answer came back after a pause. Yulisius shook his head.

But his eyes, still gazing into the void, were immersed in thoughts.

He looked like someone lost in an old memory.

❀❀❀

“Let’s walk for a bit.”

After roughly finishing the discussion about the academy, Yulisius suggested that we walk in the garden together.

I had felt this before, but instead of addressing me as “Madam” with my family name, he spoke to me familiarly without a subject.

Both his informal speech and his attitude strangely gave me the feeling of a father dealing with his daughter.

Was it because I was the daughter of a woman he once loved?

Or was it because I was the daughter of a friend who is now deceased?

I don’t know, but I sometimes received from him the warmth I used to get from my father.

Once, during a hunting competition, I almost got hit by an arrow, and the Emperor personally stepped in to save me.

Perhaps because he had a bear-like large build.

When I was in his arms, although the sensation on my skin was cold due to the metal armor, strangely, I felt warm.

It wasn’t heterosexual love or anything strange like that. Just, truly a feeling of being cherished.

So, since that day, I started treating Yulisius a bit more comfortably.

Sometimes like a friend, sometimes like a father.

“Yes, I understand.”

As I gladly went out to the garden to enjoy a walk, Yulisius suddenly began to speak,

“Estelia says the clothes from your trading company are really comfortable.”

“Her Highness the Crown Princess?”

“Yes. I heard you developed pants that look like skirts at a glance?”

“Ah. That’s right.”

Until now, due to the social atmosphere, it was often considered embarrassing for women to wear pants.

This was because the line between the legs and lower abdomen was fully revealed.

I also still found it somewhat unsightly, so after contemplating, I invented a one-piece dress with a string to hold the waistline instead of a corset, and a one-piece with attached pants.

The one-piece with attached pants looked like a skirt on the outside, but behind the fabric covering, there were pants, making it extremely active.

And the first to order these skirt-pants was Estelia.

“I was worried about whether the response would be good, but did she say it was comfortable?”

“Yes. She even told me to get one. The clothes I usually wear aren’t that different from skirts, actually.”

“Ah.”

I recalled the long tops the Emperor usually wears and couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Is it funny?”

“Ah, a little. It does look a bit like a one-piece dress in a way.”

“I was indirectly asking you to make me one too. Did you catch that?”

“Oh, was that it? Let me think about it.”

“Why?”

“I’m worried that if rumors spread that Your Majesty is wearing it, would there be ladies lining up to buy it?”

My honest thought was that there might be some distance between an emperor and a one-piece dress, no matter what.

“Huh. You’ve truly become a businesswoman to the bone.”

“Thank you. I take that as a compliment.”

“Yes. If your father saw this, he would be pleased. He himself said that being sociable and kind was his only flaw……”

Yulisius stopped mid-sentence and suddenly checked my reaction. With eyes that had widened as if surprised by his own words.

I was also momentarily taken aback.

“Ah.”

“……”

“Yes, indeed……”

About a year has passed since Father passed away.

Time has flowed colorlessly fast, and while countless new events have piled up, the past events have gradually faded.