When Joshua confessed his feelings, Bella felt her heart drop.

As he held her hand, she felt confused and afraid she might run away. The sudden proposal left her feeling shaken.

“It may be difficult to buy a house right away, but if the two of us save for a few years—and once my research succeeds—it won’t take long…”

“No.”

The word escaped her before she could organize her thoughts.

It was a refusal so swift and resolute that even she was startled by it.

“I’m sorry, Joshua. I truly—truly appreciate that you’re thinking of me. But if you’re asking me to marry you because of my circumstances, you don’t have to. I’m fine.”

Bella gently withdrew her hand from his and avoided his gaze.

“Your circumstances? What do you mean by that? I’m not proposing for that reason.”

Despite her firm rejection, Joshua did not waver as he continued to lay bare his heart.

“You’re the only person who has ever treated me with sincerity. You always have. Not because of my parents’ wealth or because I’m a renowned chemist, but simply because of who I am. You’re the only person who has ever liked me for who I am.”

Joshua had grown up lacking nothing. His father had managed a hospital for two generations, and his mother was born into nobility. From the outside, his life appeared fortunate. Yet his childhood had been anything but happy.

He was admitted to a boarding school so prestigious that gaining a place there was rare even in the capital. Although his grades were exceptional, this did not spare him from the whispers and quiet disdain of his peers. His father’s status as a commoner followed him wherever he went. And when the hospital began to struggle, the arguments between his parents became constant.

Joshua’s fragile world finally shattered when his parents divorced.

Neither parent wanted to take responsibility for their only son.

Abandoned by his family and estranged from his friends, he was sent to live with his grandfather in Netherwell, almost as if he had been cast aside. There, he sank into despair.

It was Bella who saved him.

She was a friend who saw him for who he was, even when his own parents had turned their backs on him.

With her, he could simply be himself.

Without her support, he might never have found the strength to go back to university.

To him, she was a savior.

“Joshua, I…”

“I like you.”

Joshua confessed his feelings to the hesitant Bella once more.

He had enrolled at his dream university, devoted himself to his beloved studies and built a wide network of connections. Yet the emptiness within him remained.

His papers won award after award. As a rising star in chemistry, he was introduced to countless potential collaborators, but he never accepted any of their offers.

“I like you, Bella.”

It was a feeling he had kept to himself for years.

He was sincere enough to want to spend the rest of his life with her.

He wanted to succeed openly and proudly. He wanted to build a future he could offer her without shame and make her happy.

However, Bella could not give him the answer he longed for.

If she married Joshua, she would be able to leave the Count’s estate and move to the capital. She would no longer have to share a cramped room with others. She would no longer have to endure thoughtless criticism or quiet scorn.

There was nothing about marrying Joshua that would diminish her life.

And perhaps that was precisely why she could not accept his proposal.

She cared deeply for Joshua, but only as a friend.

She could not allow her selfish desire to leave the estate to burden his future or stop him from reaching his full potential.

His grandfather had raised him alone through countless hardships and had pinned all his hopes on him.

Bella did not believe she had the right to accept Joshua’s proposal.

“I’m sorry.”

She despised herself for hesitating when the subject of marriage was mentioned. It must have taken him a great deal of courage to say it. Yet the tremor in her heart was not because of him; she longed to flee this place. This realization filled her with shame.

“…I’m not as good a person as you think.”

Bella sank to the ground, burying her face in her palms. Guilt burned behind her eyes, blurring her vision.

When Joshua confessed, she had not expected it to be him.

It was a feeling she had denied and stubbornly turned away from.

The moment she acknowledged her feelings, tears spilled endlessly.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…”

All the misunderstandings that had accumulated at the estate, the groundless accusations, her wavering feelings towards the Duke, and her long-suppressed sorrow welled up inside her all at once.

She felt terribly sorry for Joshua.

The fact that she had been tempted by his proposal as a means of escaping her current situation broke her heart further still.

“Bella, don’t apologize. I was too hasty.”

Joshua stayed by her side, gently patting her back until she had calmed down.

His touch was warm.

But her tears would not stop.

The kinder he was, the more guilty she felt. She was disappointed in herself for hurting such a gentle friend. Yet an even deeper despair lay elsewhere.

She did not know what to do about her feelings for the duke.

***

Unable to sleep, Bella went in search of the head maid that night.

From the moment she left her room, she wavered countless times, torn between hesitation and determination. On more than one occasion, she almost turned back. But she steeled herself in the end and knocked on the door.

She was afraid that if she went back to her room, she would never find the courage to leave the Count’s estate again, nor the strength to distance herself from the Duke.

“I’m sorry to come at such a late hour. I have something to say.”

The head maid, who had just begun to prepare for bed, admitted her, barely concealing her irritation. Having already heard what had happened in the kitchen, she assumed Bella had come to complain.

“What is it at this hour? If you intend to argue about the incident in the kitchen, you bear much of the fault for your own carelessness—”

“I want to return to Netherwell.”

Bella’s words completely defied her expectation.

The head maid’s eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed with displeasure.

“Netherwell is an empty estate. There are already caretakers there. What would you even do if you went?”

While the Grand Lady was away for health reasons, only a few servants were left behind to look after Netherwell. The rest had been redeployed to other estates in the area. Even if the Grand Lady returned, there would be little for Bella to do, which was why she had been temporarily assigned to the count’s estate.

Bella knew this well.

And yet, she had no choice but to ask.

“I will work without pay until the Grand Lady returns. Please… could you send me to Netherwell?”

Her eyes were filled with such desperation that she looked as though she might collapse at any moment.

The head maid rested her chin on her hand, deep in thought.

She had long known that Bella did not quite blend in with the other servants. Since she had become the duke’s personal maid, the jealousy and resentment directed towards her had only intensified.

The head maid had warned her more than once to be careful. Yet Bella had drawn the duke’s attention and remained constantly at his side, much to the young lady’s annoyance.

‘If she wishes to leave of her own accord, there’s no reason to stop her.’

If they forced her out, it might create trouble. But if the maid chose to depart herself, there would be no issue.

“If you are leaving of your own will, do not complain later.”

The head maid signed the authorization without further resistance. Though a suspicious gaze lingered as she handed over the paper, Bella, her head bowed, did not notice.

“Thank you.”

After bowing deeply, Bella returned quietly to pack her belongings.

A few changes of clothes. Two books.

That was all she had brought with her.

‘This…’

Packing her bag in the dark so as not to disturb the others’ sleep, Bella picked up one of the books.

The duke had given it to her when he learned she could read.

‘I should return it.’

However, she was afraid that if she confronted him, all her hard-won resolve would crumble.

She was running away because she was too scared to face up to her feelings. How could she possibly say goodbye properly?

Bella placed the book neatly on the empty bed she had made.

It might seem cowardly.

But this was her response to the duke’s advances.