“Have you come to your senses?”

When I opened my eyes, I saw Shahar’s stiff face, evidently angry.

In reality, we had only been apart for a few hours, but my heart felt heavy as if I was reuniting with a lover after a long time.

I couldn’t tell if what I saw was real, but even now, after waking from the hallucination, the emotions I felt for him were intensely vivid.

“Why did you do such a thing? Unrefined narcissus is poisonous. Since you have a physical body, you shouldn’t recklessly take things from the Underworld. You could have been in serious trouble.”

I just looked up at him blankly as he spoke.

When I said nothing, Shahar stopped scolding me and placed his hand on my forehead.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

I shook my head because I felt like I would cry if I opened my mouth. But I couldn’t stop the tears that had already started to flow.

“You?”

When I suddenly started crying, Shahar became restless.

“The treatment is done, so just endure a little longer, and you’ll be fine.”

“I didn’t know I shouldn’t touch it….”

“I wasn’t blaming you. I was just telling you to be careful next time, so don’t take it to heart.”

“I know. That’s not why I’m crying. I’m not even in pain.”

Whether in the hallucination or reality, he was always weak to my tears. When we parted last time, his eyes had the same look, not knowing how to console me.

I took his hand from my forehead and buried my face in his palm. His large hand, big enough to cover my entire face, was soon soaked with my tears.

“Then?”

“Sometimes, tears come for no reason. That’s just how humans are.”

“Then what should I do to make them stop?”

Unlike the Shahar in the hallucination who just watched me cry until I left, the real Shahar was a bit more proactive.

But my answer remained the same.

“Just stay beside me. Don’t go anywhere.”

“If you stop crying.”

But the tears wouldn’t stop.

I thought it might be better if I couldn’t see him to stop crying, but I didn’t want to waste this rare opportunity to be with him.

While I used his hand like a handkerchief, Shahar patiently waited until my crying subsided.

“I missed you.”

Shahar paused for a moment.

“Didn’t you miss me too, Shahar?”

“…….”

“What, why aren’t you answering?”

I choked up again, feeling emotional.

When I was about to cry again, he answered.

“I’ve always missed you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not recognizing you, Shahar.”

He seemed to guess something from my words.

“It must have been a hallucination caused by the narcissus. Even if it felt real, it was just a hallucination, so don’t give it any meaning.”

But I couldn’t dismiss it as just a hallucination. Such feelings couldn’t be stirred by mere hallucinations.

What I had forgotten were the memories, not the emotions.

Shahar must have felt the same, but it was frustrating that he pretended not to know until the end.

“Forget it. You don’t know anything.”

As I pouted, sulking, Shahar stroked my hair.

“You don’t know either. If you understood my feelings, you wouldn’t act so recklessly every time.”

“I’m sorry. But I really didn’t know….”

“Then ultimately, it’s my fault for not warning you earlier, knowing your nature.”

There was nothing I could say to that. I retracted my pout and averted my gaze.

Perhaps because of the aftereffects, I felt sleepy again even though I had just woken up. I’ve never felt this drowsy since coming to the Underworld.

“Don’t leave while I’m asleep….”

“Alright.”

Feeling the large hand patting my shoulder, I helplessly fell asleep again.

I hoped to see him in the hallucination, but what awaited me was a deep sleep without even a dream.

* * *

The side effects of the narcissus lasted quite a while.

Not only did I confuse dreams with reality, but sometimes I also saw hallucinations while fully awake.

Since there were no doctors in the Underworld, Shahar checked my condition. As a result, I spent more time alone with him.

“How are you today?”

“I’m fine. My head is clear too.”

“Tell me what you did this morning.”

“What did I do? I went for a walk with Shahar and read a book together.”

“What book did we read?”

“Well… huh?”

Suddenly, I couldn’t remember the contents of the book. Then I recalled that I hadn’t left my bedroom even once today.

As I stood there dumbfounded, Shahar nodded as if he understood.

“It’s alright. You’re definitely getting better.”

“…….”

I did notice the strange things sooner than yesterday. But secretly, I wished this state would last a bit longer. I’ve never received so much attention from Shahar since coming to the Underworld.

Unfortunately, my mind had an annoyingly strong recovery rate.

After a few days, the hallucinations completely disappeared.

“You seem much better now, so I guess I don’t need to come here anymore.”

“Huh? Shahar, why am I in the bedroom? I was definitely on a boat crossing the river….”

Of course, Shahar wasn’t a fool, so he didn’t fall for such a flimsy lie.

“You’re really bad at lying.”

‘D*mn it.’

“I just want to be with you, Shahar. Can’t you let this little lie slide?”

“Is there a need to lie? You could just say it honestly.”

After regaining some memories, I could guess why Shahar had always been alone before meeting me.

‘He’s really clueless, isn’t he?’

No wonder he wouldn’t notice if someone showed interest in him.

But my heart was even more clueless than Shahar’s.

It was good that my emotions, which had been erratic from the aftereffects of the hallucination, had calmed down. The problem was now my heart would race madly just by seeing him. And his handsome face kept making my thoughts drift to indecent places.

‘How far did we go?’

I was recognized as Shahar’s lover by everyone. Given such a deep relationship, it was unlikely that our love was purely platonic. But Shahar was very indifferent to all desires, so I couldn’t be sure.

‘Well, what matters is now.’

Unlike my past self, whose desires were dried up after drinking the waters of oblivion, I now had vivid emotions and desires. I had no intention of having a relationship where I only held hands with such a handsome man as my mate.

And now, I had everything I needed to fulfill my desires. All I had to do was push Shahar onto the bed, and everything would go smoothly.

I twisted my hair and hovered around Shahar.

“Do you have something to say?”

“Well… not exactly.”

Suddenly, I felt a surge of anger.

“If you think about it, you’re being honest either. You enjoy being with me too, Shahar.”

As I grumbled, his lips curved into a small arc.

It was definitely a smile, even though it disappeared quickly. It was the first time I had seen him smile.

I was so surprised that I momentarily forgot my indecent desires. But for some reason, my cheeks felt even hotter than before.

I felt so embarrassed that I didn’t know what to do, yet I had the urge to kiss his smile.

‘I wish he would smile just once more.’

Without realizing it, I reached out and touched Shahar’s lips.

Shahar sighed softly.

“You are completely unpredictable. First, you lie and get angry, and now you—”

Not having the courage to hear the rest of his words, I spread my hand to cover his mouth.

“If you don’t like it, you could have avoided it.”

What, did he think I had no pride?

‘I guess I don’t.’

I clung to someone like Pinion just because he was handsome, so Shahar was no exception. He was so handsome that a few harsh words didn’t matter.

And unlike Pinion, Shahar had a heart as soft as silk. Even amidst my disappointment, I was sure he would indulge my whims.

“If you feel wronged, I’ll give you a chance to touch me too, Shahar.”

I spread my arms wide.

“For a time limit of five minutes.”

‘He wouldn’t really touch me, would he?’

Shahar was as proper and reserved as the priest Gined. Just because I permitted it didn’t mean he would touch me recklessly….

When I thought that far, Shahar reached out his hand.

‘Huh?’

He placed his hand on my shoulder first and then paused, as if contemplating his next move.

Eventually, his hand slid down to my collarbone.

I was so startled I almost jumped, but I was the one who had encouraged him.

‘Right… between us….’

To gain something, you must be willing to give something.

I braced myself and closed my eyes tightly.

Then I heard a sound, like air was escaping from somewhere.

“It’s late, so let’s rest.”

“What?”

I opened my eyes at the unexpected words and my face twisted in disbelief.

“What the heck!”

Shahar had disappeared before I knew it.

Realizing that he had teased me, I felt a surge of frustration.

“Just wait…!”

But my resentment couldn’t reach the already departed Shahar.

I pounded the innocent bed, vowing to get my revenge someday.