‘Why did Dwayne choose me of all people?’

Sel pondered this question throughout the remainder of the expedition.

Was it because she was a commoner? Because of her appearance? Because she had no parents to protect her? Maybe it was because she seemed small and weak.

These possible answers only made the unsettling idea that similar incidents could happen in the future seem more plausible, filling her with fear about what lay ahead.

To shake off her anxiety, Sel repeatedly told herself that everything was fine.

‘It was just that one guy who was strange. Don’t doubt the other mercenaries. Trusting them is the right decision.’

“Are you okay?”

Lavi approached Sel as she was packing up after the expedition.

“I’m fine,” she replied casually, but Lavi’s expression remained dark.

He had clearly seen her flinch earlier at the sight of a standard-issue dagger held by another mercenary — a dagger similar to the one Dwayne had used.

“…Alright. Take your time packing up,” Lavi said, refraining from asking any more questions. He turned and disappeared among the other mercenaries.

Sel glanced briefly at his retreating figure before resuming her busy task of packing up.

Other than Dwayne’s criminal acts, the expedition had been a smooth one. The Cavalry Mercenary Guild had collected many valuable items, filling their storage once again.

“This is for you, Sel.”

A heavy pouch was placed into her hand with a thud.

Startled, Sel quickly opened the pouch to find ten gold coins inside.

“…Do you normally receive such bonuses after an expedition, Philip?” she asked, surprised.

“Well, usually, yes. The western regions offer less profit, but the further south, east, or north you go, the greater the rewards. The western forests near the villages tend to yield the least,” Philip explained.

Sel clutched the pouch tightly with both hands and swiftly tucked it into her coat.

She had sworn never to go on another expedition, yet she found herself already curious about the date of the next one.

Back in her room, Sel lay on her bed, holding her first-ever “bonus” close to her chest.

Despite only being away for six days, she realized just how much she had missed the feel of her soft, comfortable bed.

She reached to turn off the magical lamp on the bedside table. But then, her expression suddenly stiffened as she hesitated.

Sel, seemingly debating something, pulled the thick blanket up to her chin without turning off the light. She lay there, gripping the pouch tightly in her hands, trying to dream happy dreams.

Exhaustion washed over her like a wave.

…

‘Did I wake up?’

The darkness surrounded her entirely.

She knew she was lying down, but she couldn’t move her body.

A sense of dread crept over her.

As she struggled to move her arms, an eerie voice rang in her ears, chilling her to the bone. It was Dwayne and the old healer.

“It’s your fault. You seduced me. It’s all because of you!”

“I’m only doing this because of you. I tried to hold back, but your deceitful face tempted me first!”

The sensation of bugs crawling over her body made Sel shiver.

She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t move a muscle.

Tears rolled down her cheeks despite all her efforts, as if her body wasn’t hers to control.

“I told you not to show yourself! I warned you to hide, to conceal yourself! This is your fault. I knew it would end like this. Just like me… just like me!”

The familiar ringing in her ears followed the voices.

The terrifying voices belonged to the same person who once sang her lullabies with a gentle tone.

“…Mom, I’m sorry… Please stop yelling….”

Sel’s voice, hoarse and strained, came out weakly, her face drained of all color.

At that moment, a blue light sliced through the darkness, creating an elegant arc in the air.

The pitch-black mist dissipated, and her vision cleared.

The chill that had gripped her entire body vanished. Her fingers twitched.

A choked sob finally escaped her lips as her throat, once blocked, was freed.

“…Lavi?”

Her sobbing voice barely managed to call out his name.

But something was off.

Lavi wasn’t acting like himself. His pupils glowed with a deep blue light.

“A hollow shell, how refreshing.”

His tone was nothing like Lavi’s usual voice.

Sel pushed herself up slowly, using her arms to support herself on the mattress.

Her eyes scanned Lavi meticulously, noting that his expression, tone, posture, and mannerisms were all different from usual.

What’s more, Lavi held a silver pipe about two fingers long in his mouth.

Normally, he didn’t smoke.

It didn’t take long for Sel to realize what was happening.

Possession.

A spirit had taken over Lavi’s body in the middle of the night.

Sel silently observed the spirit inhabiting Lavi.

“This body seems to have taken in an unusual host. No future, no past, not even a glimpse of the present.”

‘Why is there only an empty shell?’

The spirit possessing Lavi stared intently at Sel.

Judging by his unfocused pupils, it wasn’t seeing her with its eyes. It seemed to be looking at something beyond her physical presence.

Taking a deep puff from the pipe, the spirit blew smoke towards Sel.

She coughed violently.

“You. Stop messing with this guy,” the spirit said, tapping Lavi’s chest with its fingers and lifting one corner of its mouth in a smirk.

“What do you mean…?” Sel asked, confused.

“Just looking at you makes this guy feel suffocated. Even now, his heart is aching.”

“Pardon?”

Sel blinked in surprise, recalling that Lavi had a chronic illness. Was it a heart condition?

“He’s unconsciously too aware of you. Doesn’t it make you feel bad? Try being kinder to him.”

“I do try my best.”

“Heh. Trying, you say? Judging by this body’s reaction, it’s driving him crazy.”

Could it be that Lavi was worried about the Dwayne incident? Sel pursed her lips, remaining silent.

Though he sometimes got angry, Lavi was generally a kind leader who looked after his mercenaries.

Thinking of him made Sel feel a warmth in her chest.

A gentle smile spread across her face.

Suddenly, the spirit clutched its chest as if in pain.

“Damn it. Why now? At this rate, I’ll be exorcised before I can pass on,” it grumbled.

“Is the commander’s condition that serious? Cough, cough,” Sel asked, concern evident in her voice.

The spirit didn’t respond, only giving her a pitiful look.

It strode over to the window and flung it open.

And then, with a wave of the cigarette holder, a gust of wind swept through the room.

The thick cigarette smoke that had filled the room vanished in an instant.

“It’s not bad watching you. See you next time, shell.”

Without any warm-up or preparation, the spirit leaped out of the window. Despite jumping from the third floor, the spirit landed without making a sound, as softly as a bird perching on a branch.

Holding just the cigarette holder, the spirit mounted Lavi’s black horse, Limpha. He disappeared into the dark forest, cutting through the shadowy streets.

—

Four days after returning from the expedition.

Though the days were seemingly no different from before, bad memories haunted Sel, occasionally shaking her to her core.

Sel wasn’t the type to easily forget bad memories. She simply chose to ignore them.

Even now, it was the same. Whenever a dreadful memory tried to surface, she focused harder on the present. The sharp reality, filled with pain as if her muscles were being torn apart, was sweeter than reliving the past.

Since the previous day, Sel had been undergoing intense training with Lavi. She gripped the two-handed sword Lavi had given her tightly and swung it at the straw target.

“One more! With that kind of swing, you won’t even be able to fend off a single attacker! In close combat, strength comes first!”

“Ugh…!”

Sel bent her knees slightly, lifting the heavy sword and swinging it towards the straw dummy. Her trembling arms and legs felt as if they might collapse at any moment.

After the expedition, Lavi had begun secret, high-intensity training with Sel. Watching her struggle, Eric stepped in and took the sword from Sel’s hands.

“Are you trying to kill him, Lavi? Can’t you see his arms shaking? I get what you’re trying to do, but take it easy.”

“It’s none of your business. Leave.”

“What do you mean it’s not my business? I was his partner in the Black Forest incident, and it was partly my fault. You push him like this, he won’t be able to get up tomorrow.”

Eric’s gaze was fierce, but Lavi did not back down.

Sel extended her hand toward Eric, asking for the sword back.

“Give it to me. I’ll keep going, Eric.”

“…”

“Hurry.”

“Training is good, but there are exercises that suit each person. If you want to live long and stay strong, you need to be realistic. If you push your body too hard, no one else will be responsible for the damage. Got it?”

Eric emphasized once more, “No one will take responsibility,” glaring coldly at Lavi.

Lavi clenched his jaw, his lower face twitching angrily.

Handing the sword back to Sel, Eric reiterated the importance of ‘reality’ before leaving the training room.

Now, only Lavi and Sel remained.

The training continued.

When Sel’s limbs began to spasm, and she could no longer endure it, Lavi finally called an end to the session. Looking down at Sel, who was sprawled out on the floor, gasping for breath as if on the verge of death, Lavi slowly spoke.

“Feels like you’re going to die, huh?”

“Yes… heaving…”

“Eric was right. I pushed you too hard.”

“No, it’s fine. I wanted this…”

“It will hurt so much you won’t be able to breathe. But…”

Lavi paused for a moment, turning his gaze to the empty space.

“Growth is always painful, they say.”

He spoke to Sel as if giving her a precious piece of advice he had once received.

“When you build muscle, you exercise to the point of tearing it. Only then can new, stronger muscles grow in the gaps.”

Lavi looked at Sel’s trembling, spasming arm. Despite all the training, her thin arms barely developed the muscle he had hoped for, still delicate enough to be grasped with one hand.

“Even to build a single strand of muscle, you have to endure pain as if your limbs are being ripped apart. Imagine how much more agonizing it must be for the human soul to grow.”

Sel, wincing in pain, slowly opened her eyes. Her gaze met Lavi’s deep green eyes staring down at her.

“The horrible things that happened… they’re like torn muscles for you.”

A sad expression momentarily crossed Lavi’s usually composed face.

Sel silently stared at him.

“Even if it feels like your soul has been shredded into pieces by their awful words…”

Lavi’s neck tensed with visible veins.

“Those pieces remain within you. In the torn spaces, new growth is preparing to emerge.”

Lavi’s words shook Sel, who had been holding back her emotions like a tightly sealed bottle about to burst.

Tears welled up in Sel’s quivering eyes. The overflowing sorrow trickled down her cheeks.

“…Enduring…”

It’s hard.

Her soft sobs accompanied her whispered words of struggle.

Lavi’s expression flickered briefly as he caught even the tiniest sound of her pain, cherishing it like a precious grain of sand.

“Your arms will be so sore tomorrow you won’t even be able to lift a spoon. Most people take a break at that point. They start complaining about even more pain the next day. The less you move, the more your body aches.”

Lavi’s gaze followed the trail of tears down Sel’s face.

“Even if it’s hard to hold a spoon, you must not stop training. That’s how you recover quickly. The same goes for your wounded heart and soul.”

Lavi stood, looking down at Sel lying on the floor.

He wanted to wipe away her tears, but he feared she might hide her emotions again if he did.

“The process and the moments will be painful and tough. It will be hard even to stand on your own.”

“…”

“But keep moving. You will never fall. Because I…”

Lavi clenched his fist tightly, then relaxed it.

His eyes, once fixed on the empty space, now locked directly with Sel’s teary gaze.

“I will be standing behind you. I will support you so that your back doesn’t collapse.”

“…Ah…”

Sel’s face, tense with suppressed tears, crumpled like a child’s, and she finally broke into sobs.

For the first time in eight years, Sel’s tightly locked emotions surged uncontrollably since losing her mother.