Chapter 6

One night, Elza, despairing over the fact that it was difficult enough to beg while dragging along a small baby that was not even her own child, abandoned the child and left. During the whole time she lived beneath the bridge, Elza had been talkative, and loved to chatter on about how strange the birth of the friend who had borne the child she brought had been.

That a young master of a ducal house had imprisoned and violated some lowly woman, but because the child born from her was not his seed, he had sold the baby to a brothel while it was still no more than a newborn…… and that the baby’s name had been Delphinia. That the woman who gave birth to her had managed to do no more than give her a name…….

Irenia knew the heroine of that story was her daughter, and wept and wept, cursing Safiella, that devil, again and again.

But her curses never reached the heavens.

They said Delphinia had liked her own name. That when she found out she was pregnant, she protected the baby even while being beaten by the brothel keeper, and said that if the child was born, she would name her Delphine…….

Ah, how many nights had Irenia spent in tears over her pitiful daughter, whom she had never even been able to hold properly. But no matter how much she cried, her tears did not erase or ease their misfortune in the slightest.

Those had been days in which living was not truly living.

That was why she thought it would have been better if she had never given birth at all. Because if they were born from her, that was what would happen to them. Once more, with tears of blood, she prayed only that the time of disaster would never repeat itself.

If Safiella, that wicked woman, failed to catch the eye of Crown Prince Martinez…… if the Crown Prince chose and came to love not her, but Irenia, then she would surely commit such merciless deeds.

That dreadful and vicious monster would without fail shatter the peaceful daily lives of her family to pieces.

If she were to catch the eye of that man, Martinez, and if they were to confirm the unchanging feelings reflected in each other’s eyes……

Then surely both Barville and Safiella would repeat those dreadful schemes and evil deeds in order to tear them apart.

She had to leave at once for someplace where the Crown Prince would not be able to find her. It would be best to become a nun. That way she would protect her parents, her nursemaid, and Elonzo.

Knock knock knock-.

At the careful sound of someone knocking on the study door, she flinched and scattered the string of frightening and painful thoughts that had risen in her mind. But she had not been able to compose the face stained with tears.

“Miss, you said you weren’t feeling well, so what are you doing here? You should be resting comfortably in your bedroom. I had hot water bottles prepared and brought up, and when your bed was empty, do you know how startled I was? Oh, Miss. Why are you crying again!”

The moment she faced Lariesa’s worried expression, tears suddenly spilled from her again.

“If you’re in so much pain that you’re crying like this, shall I call the doctor again?”

“N-no. You don’t have to. I won’t cry. I’ll stop crying.”

“How upsetting, for you to spend the whole day crying with such a lovely face……. Miss, just what kind of terrible dream did you have last night……”

Unable to answer at all, she suddenly threw herself into Lariesa’s arms.

She wanted to cry aloud again with all her might.

Nanny, this time I will make sure you do not die so helplessly. I will protect you no matter what. So please hold me tightly like this. All this time, I have been so frightened, and so lonely.

But she could not let a single sound pass her lips.

If she were to tell Lariesa everything she had gone through…… even if Lariesa dismissed it as nothing more than a dream and refused to believe it had truly happened…… if by any chance she came to believe there was even the slightest possibility that such cruel things might occur…… then she would likely suffer even more than Irenia and at once seize a poker from the fireplace and march straight to the Montiac Dukedom.

No matter how stable and prosperous the del Tieri Earldom still was before it had been accused of treason, the Montiac Dukedom, a house of meritorious founders, stood far above it in both title and influence. For a mere maid to charge in there was unthinkable.

But if it were Lariesa, then whatever the source of Irenia’s nightmare might be, once she heard the story Irenia told, she would never be able to remain still. Ah, to have returned to the self who, in those days, was loved so abundantly by those who would willingly lay down their lives for her.

To her, this was heaven. A place where she wanted to remain for a long time. But could she.

And if she simply left the coming days as they were, then for her……

There would come to be beings even more deeply seared into her heart than Lariesa, who loved her this much and cared for her with such warmth……

Delphinia…… and Delphine……

Whenever Irenia merely closed her eyes, there came to mind Delphine, that poor child, whose final state she had only been able to truly look upon after death…… and before that, Delphinia, her poor daughter, whom she had not even dared touch or embrace, believing she had done her duty as a mother merely by letting her go from her arms…… and whom she had nevertheless plunged into a situation even more terrible than her own……

And so she felt as though she might burst into loud sobs, spilling tears like a fountain. But when she thought of the times more cruel than death that those children had suffered, it seemed to her that the only thing she could do for them was make sure none of it ever happened.

She resolved that she would become a nun, and spend her whole life praying that the angels would at least let those children’s souls be born into safer families and live surrounded by love and protection.

“Miss, please go and lie down in bed. If you keep crying like this, it hurts my heart so much. Please, now. Take some warm tea, hold onto the hot water bottle I’ve heated for you, and get a little sleep, and this time have a good dream, please.”

When she remained pressed against her, shoulders still shaking as she cried, Lariesa looked ready to lift her up just as she was and carry her up the stairs. Thinking of Lariesa, now already middle-aged, Irenia finally stopped her sniffling and headed to the bedroom. And relying on all the things Lariesa arranged for her, she tried to find even a brief moment of peace.

Nothing had happened yet.

It could not be helped, but since she had no power to stand against those utterly vile siblings of the Montiac Dukedom, all she had to do was try somehow, from this moment on, not to meet him.

At this rate, she should pretend to be even sicker and simply take to her bed altogether.

And then she would plead with her parents to let her go recuperate at the seaside of Grandieri in the south, where her mother’s family owned a villa. And while doing so, she would beg tearfully that both her father and mother go with her as far as Grandieri, and take her there themselves.

Only then could she stop her father from attending the hunting tournament where he would be framed so horribly. Of course, if she never met the Crown Prince, perhaps such a thing might not happen……. But if by any chance they were to attempt something…… she could not afford to be utterly helpless, so by whatever means, she had to bring both of her parents with her and stay far from the Imperial Capital for a while. This was the only way to avoid disaster.

Once she safely made it down to the southern region, she would insist that she meant to enter the Petherinevue Convent in a foreign country just beyond the border not far from there, and become a nun.

Her parents would grieve at such a decision of hers and try somehow to dissuade her…… but she would drag out the time like that, and in the end she would not bend and would become a nun.

She had to stay as far away as possible, far away from Martinez, and never again…… never again fall in love with him.