He had always been brave, but not like this. Should I let it go because of my past mistakes? After all, he wasn’t avoiding formal language out of genuine respect for me. In the end, it didn’t really matter.

“Fine. You’re right; it must be my imagination. Let’s just get some sleep.”

As usual, I pulled him into my embrace. He tensed slightly but didn’t resist. I offered him my arm as a pillow and buried my nose against the back of his neck. I could feel the cool, snake-like scales against my skin and inhaled his scent. He muttered a quiet curse, but I ignored it.

Of course, he hated being held by someone he despised, night after night. But I had no intention of stopping. If we kept clashing like this, maybe his feelings toward me would eventually soften. After all…

“If you hate it that much, I can arrange a separate bed for you. Come to think of it, I never heard your answer about that.”

“…Just sleep.”

“So can I take it that you don’t completely hate sleeping next to me?”

“I hate it. Very much.”

“Then shall I arrange for a separate room…”

“No, I don’t want that either.”

His response left me speechless. He didn’t want this, but he didn’t want that either. What was I supposed to do? In the end, I gave up trying to get a proper answer and buried my nose against the back of his neck again. The cool feeling was pleasant, and I rubbed my nose against his skin.

“Damn it,” he cursed, this time more intensely.

“I always wonder this—you’re cool to the touch, and it feels nice to hold you. Is it because you’re half a corpse? Or is it the snake part of you?”

“Please, just stop. Go to sleep. Just shut that mouth of yours and sleep.”

“I suppose I should. But… I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

Who killed Zetak? Should I try to find out? For a moment, I felt the urge, but then I decided against it. What good would come from finding the culprit now? Zetak himself was staying silent about it—how foolish would it be for me to get involved?

After all, I was the one who created the circumstances that led to his death in the first place. If I tried to intervene now, I doubted it would be welcomed by him.

I pulled the small body in my arms closer, holding him tightly. His slight frame—unchanged from five years ago. In the future I had seen, he was a strong man. I wasn’t short by any means, yet he had stood more than a head taller than me.

“When I decided to discard my human body, I could get rid of the scars. Through shedding, like a snake.”

That’s what he had said back then. He discarded his human body. At the time, I thought it was just a metaphor—that he meant he had abandoned his humanity. But now, I realized that wasn’t the case. He meant he had literally discarded the dead human body.

Tearing away something that is already fused is an act that carries the risk of death. There must have been a reason for him to go to the trouble of separating and abandoning the fused part. A dead body… a body that doesn’t grow. Now I understood why he had abandoned his human body in the future.

A twisted growth. For now, while the fusion was still happening, it was manageable. But once the fusion was complete, the living part of the demon would begin to grow, while the dead, human part would not—it couldn’t grow. This mismatch must have caused a physical distortion of his body.

I moved my hand as I held him. When I slipped my hand under his shirt, he flinched, stiffening as he grabbed my wrist.

“What are you doing?”

“Hold still for a moment.”

“Take your hand off me right now…”

“I said hold still.”

I thought I heard the sound of gritting teeth, but I ignored it. Slowly, I moved my hand, feeling his body. The last time I had done something like this, it ended with my right hand getting injured, but I thought it would be fine this time—after all, he had refused when I offered my left hand.

As I traced the cool surface of his chest, I heard Zetak muttering something like, ‘I can’t even kill him.’ I chose to ignore that as well. I touched different parts—those that seemed human and those covered in serpent-like scales, clearly belonging to the demon.

Of course, I couldn’t determine exactly which parts were human and which were demon just by touch. But still, I wanted to check. With the demon’s spider legs already exposed, it seemed likely that most of his internal body had already been overtaken. Yet, I wanted to know what human parts remained.

“You’ve read everything about demons, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I have. But why are you bringing that up now?”

“There are things that aren’t written in the books.”

Shedding—Zetak in the future had shed his skin. In the future I had seen, he must have crossed over to the demon realm early on. After escaping from the temple by pretending to be dead following his execution, he must have found a gate and crossed over. There, by observing other demons, he naturally learned about the process of shedding. But right now, things were different.

If he stayed by my side, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to see other demons. He wouldn’t learn about shedding. Besides, it wasn’t even possible to shed skin while in the human realm.

“Someday, you’ll need to shed your skin.”

“Shed my skin? What do you mean by that?”

“I mentioned it before—most demons are encased in armor. The body grows, but the armor doesn’t. Naturally, they shed to get rid of the old armor, and as the external muscles harden, a new armor forms.”

I pressed on the area where I could feel the burn scars. He flinched, stiffening, but I didn’t move my hand away.

“The human part of you, this body—it won’t grow. But the demon’s body will start to grow as time passes.”

“…”

“For now, it’s manageable since the fusion isn’t complete. But once the fusion is finished, there will be conflicts between the parts that grow and those that don’t.”

The reason why Zetak in the future had discarded his human part—there must have been a compelling reason if he endured the pain of tearing away the fused part. Taking such a gamble, risking death, meant it was necessary.

“Shedding is a natural physiological process for demons to discard the old parts of their bodies. Once the fusion is complete, you’ll need to shed your human, dead flesh as well. You should start preparing yourself mentally for that.”

“How do you even know such things? Is this information also from the forbidden books that only the royal family can access?”

“Yes.”

I thought I heard a faint, mocking scoff.

“Enough with the lies. Even if it’s from a forbidden text in the royal palace, I know what you’ve said isn’t something known in the human world. Who would record such things if no one ever returns from the demon realm?”

“There are records, aren’t there? Fifteen hundred years ago, a great mage returned from the demon realm after fifteen years. Eight hundred years ago, a high priest returned after twelve years. If someone can handle energy skilfully, they won’t be crushed by demonic energy. Nor will they be easily killed by demons. If they can keep running and avoid danger, it’s possible.”

Of course, I didn’t mention that both of them came back half-mad. The public books don’t tell the rest of the story, but in the royal library, the records of what became of the returnees were all documented.

The returnees had probably survived in the demon realm for over a decade by eating demon flesh. They must have experienced times when they had to turn away from saving people being toyed with by demons, or worse, watching those they had saved die, crushed by demonic energy.

It must have been unbearable – not for their bodies, but for their minds. Though they returned, they were too mentally broken to leave a proper record. In fact, all they left behind were a few sentences, childishly simple ones at that: “It’s like hell, monsters exist.”

The great mage was recorded as having retreated into the mountains only a few days after returning. The high priest committed suicide within two months, leaving behind only a note that said, “I feel guilty for surviving alone.” But I chose not to mention any of this—Zetak didn’t need to know.

“There may be few gates to return from, but it’s not impossible. There are returnees. The royal library has many books that aren’t accessible to the public. That’s where I read about it.”

“…”

Zetak remained silent, his expression unreadable. He seemed to be processing what I’d said, his eyes narrowed slightly as if trying to decipher the truth behind my words.

Does he believe me, or does he still doubt me? It doesn’t matter either way.

“To shed your skin, you would need to…”

I stopped mid-sentence, realizing my mistake only after I’d spoken too much. Why had I said all this? It was a clear mistake. I shouldn’t have told him about shedding. It wasn’t my concern whether he struggled with the side effects of fusion in the future or ended up with a grotesquely twisted body because his human parts couldn’t grow.

I needed him to stay by my side. I needed him here to hold onto me, whether out of love or even a twisted kind of attachment. But if he were to leave…

“To shed, I need what?”

“…”

To shed his skin, he would have to go to the demon realm. There he would have to dig into the mud and bury himself in it. Only by immersing himself in the sticky demonic energy could he complete the process properly. Once he entered the Demon Realm, it would be at least ten years before he could return. Even if the process itself was completed quickly, finding a way back would be the real challenge.

If he stays by my side, there will be times when old memories resurface. But if he spends ten years in the demon realm, those memories will slowly be buried, replaced only by his hatred.