If the roles had been reversed, I would have been just as angry and disappointed. The thought crossed my mind and without realising it, I clenched the sheets tightly. The image of him letting go of his feelings for me, sending me off as if I were someone going to their death, surrendering and allowing me to go – it was only a fleeting thought, but it stirred something deep inside me.

“Would you really give up on me so easily? Don’t you even have it in you to trust me and wait for me?”

If such a situation had ever arisen, I wouldn’t have let him go so easily. It wouldn’t have been as simple as hitting him a few times with tendrils, as Zetak was doing now. It could have been much worse.

When you think about it, Zetak remains gentle and calm through it all. Although it lashes out at me with its tendrils to express its anger, it has never actually harmed me or caused me serious injury. If it wanted to, it could easily cripple me.

Perhaps the best thing to do is to wait for his anger to subside. The fact that he’s still holding back proves that he hasn’t completely lost his mind. With that thought, I looked back at him and noticed something strange. He should have been relieved to be able to take his anger out on me, but instead he looked deeply troubled.

He’s the one causing me pain, and I’m the one suffering – so why does he look like he’s in even more pain than I am?   

“Why…?”

My voice was barely audible over the vine wrapped around my neck. I grabbed the vine with my left hand, channeling energy as I pulled it away, creating a small gap that allowed me to breathe.

“Why are you making that face?”

Our eyes met – silent and intense. There was anger in his gaze, directed at me, but there was also a heavy sense of self-reproach. I thought I understood what he was thinking. He was angry at my decision and, unable to control his emotions, he lashed out at me. But at the same time he was disappointed in himself. He regretted the pain he had caused me, but even though he regretted it, he couldn’t stop punishing me.

Perhaps it was because the hatred and anger that coexisted within him had taken control. He seemed conflicted, unsure of what to do with me.

“Don’t blame yourself for what you’ve done. When people are angry, things like this can happen. Even lovers fight when they’re angry. I’ve seen women slapping their fiancés when they’re angry. I’ve even seen men throw water in their partner’s face when they’re angry. What’s wrong with that? Why do you make such a face?”

“…….”

“You may do as you wish until your anger subsides. But if you’re going to make that kind of face, I don’t think I can let you continue.”

I tightened my grip on the vine. The energy I was channeling made it swell as if it would burst. I pulled it away, freeing my neck from its constriction. If venting his emotions on me made him feel better, I could bear it – but if his actions caused him pain, there was no reason for me to tolerate it.

“If you’re going to regret this, I need to end this situation now, even if it means hurting you.”

Even though my right arm was damaged, it wasn’t enough to prevent me from taking on a young monster. When it came to experience, I clearly had the upper hand. To show that I was serious, I tried to speak with a hint of intimidation. However, the situation itself was somewhat ridiculous – no matter what I said, who would feel threatened when there was still a tendril buried in my backside? Zetak seemed to think the same, because he looked at me for a moment with a puzzled expression, as if he couldn’t believe what I was saying.

If he tried to overpower me by force, I was prepared to retaliate with my own strength. That was the decision I had made. But Zetak didn’t react at all. Instead, he seemed drained, as if his energy or resolve had faded. The tendril wrapped around me slowly loosened, as if reflecting his inner emotions. The vine inside me slowly retreated, and the others slithered back to his back like snakes. Finally, he passed a hand over his face, his expression filled with exhaustion and frustration.

“Honestly… Your Highness is just…”

His voice carried criticism directed at himself, mixed with confusion directed at me. As I tried to turn around and sit up, a sharp pain shot through my back and the back of my thighs, as if my muscles were being ripped apart, making me grimace.

“Lie down.”

Zetak placed a hand on my shoulder and gently helped me to lie back down. He slowly ran his hand over the areas of my back he had struck. His fingers moved lower, carefully tracing the area near my hips where the blood had spread.

“Being needlessly stubborn isn’t always a virtue.”

“…”

“If you’d just screamed in pain, I wouldn’t have gone this far.”

Somehow I doubted that. Judging by how upset he was, it didn’t seem likely.

“Is it that bad?”

“At least we’ll have to call a priest for the lower area.”

Calling a priest would undoubtedly cause a scene. Perhaps we could brush it off as a rough moment between lovers and they might let it slide. Or rather, they would probably pretend to believe it. Still, it was obvious that unpleasant rumours would spread like wildfire. That didn’t bother me too much, but I didn’t want him, who was about to leave for the demon realm, to be summoned to the temple and reprimanded.

“A priest isn’t necessary. Just applying the medicine should be enough. Among the standard supplies, there are probably some ointments made by the temple.”

“…”

I thought he was going to get the medicine, but he didn’t move.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you pretending not to understand? Or do you really think it’s nothing?”

Not knowing what he would say, I remained silent. He looked down at me, probably at the area between my legs where the blood had spread. His gaze was dark. There was no satisfaction in his eyes, only self-reproach.

“I r*ped you, Your Highness.”

“…”

“I used violence and forced an unwanted act upon you. And yet that’s all you have to say?”

“I see. It seems I made a mistake. The next time you come at me like this, I’ll find a way to subdue you, no matter what it takes. If I had known you would react like this, I wouldn’t have let you do it so easily.”

“…”

“You said it was r*pe? Be careful with your words. You didn’t commit r*pe. You simply expressed your frustration with my consent.”

Zetak looked at me with a slightly twisted expression before lowering his gaze.

“I gave up trying to understand Your Highness a long time ago… but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what it is you see in me.”

“If you’re trying to demean yourself, I don’t want to hear it.”

“That’s not what I mean. If it had been five years ago, I might have understood. Then I was a loyal subject. But now, frankly, I don’t understand why you feel this way about me – beyond the external issues.”

He climbed off the bed, opened the cupboard by the wall and returned with a box of medical supplies. Rummaging through it, he pulled out a white jar.

“I know I have been unreasonable. Whether Your Highness wants to let go of your feelings or give up on me, it’s not for me to dictate.”

A cold cream was generously applied between my hips. It wasn’t just uncomfortable – it felt as if the wounds were being carved out further. From his point of view, he was probably trying to be thorough. From mine, it felt like pure agony. I buried my forehead in the sheets, suppressing a groan, and his hand suddenly stopped.

“Even knowing all this, I couldn’t help but be angry. My mind understands that I have no right to feel this way, but I still resented you. Resented you… No, that word doesn’t quite capture what I felt.”

“…”

“It felt like that time…”

“So you let me go so easily…” 

His mumbled words lacked strength. Though his tone seemed calm, there was an undercurrent of pain in his voice. I knew exactly what he meant by ‘back then’.

Zetak’s intense anger and frustration probably stemmed from how closely this situation mirrored his past experience – when he had been so easily cast aside because of my fleeting curiosity.

“I am, Your Highness…” 

He seemed to want to say something, but finally fell silent. I waited, but he didn’t continue. Still, I could guess what he was going to say. Am I still no more than this to you? That must have been what he wanted to ask. 

His behaviour was similar to what I had predicted. But his behaviour afterwards was quite different. After hitting me only a few times, he was now filled with such disappointment in himself. It was almost puzzling. 

“I will not die.” 

His tone was calm but firm. 

“I will return, no matter what. So wait for me.” 

He had once told me that not everything in the world happens the way I want it to. I wanted to throw those words back at him. Anyone can make such a promise with mere words. The Demon Realm, as he knows it from books, is nothing more than a barren and cruel place in his mind. That’s why he thinks he can survive there. 

But the Demon Realm is not so forgiving that someone born and raised in the human world can survive it unscathed. How had the Zetak of the future managed to return unscathed? How had he gained so many subordinates? 

“When you go to the demon realm, you must molt. By shedding the dead parts of your body through molting, you’ll be able to grow properly.”