4. Summer Rain (Part 1)

The morning of Merilyn’s debutante day dawned after several hectic weeks. The Godwin Estate was bustling with activity, assisting the day’s star, Merilyn, with her preparations.  

Draped in a flowing pink dress as delicate as flower petals and adorned with a dazzling diamond necklace left behind by the late Countess, Merilyn looked radiant, like a fairy of flowers. The maids surrounded her, showering her with praise.  

Cecilia, on the other hand, wore a simple navy-blue dress. Her neatly combed and pinned-up hair exuded a composed yet cold aura. Standing beside Merilyn, Cecilia gazed at her reflection in the mirror, slowly scrutinizing her appearance from top to bottom.  

‘Why today of all days…?’  

Perhaps it was because she stood next to the elaborately dressed Merilyn. Cecilia felt that, for some reason, she looked duller than usual. Normally, she loathed drawing attention and had never been overly concerned with her appearance, but today felt different. She lightly touched her pale, slender neck with her fingertips.  

“Cecil, let’s go. We’ll be late at this rate.”  

At that moment, Merilyn, having finished her preparations, grabbed Cecilia’s arm. Cecilia finally tore her gaze away from the mirror.  

As they descended the stairs, the butler, who had been checking his pocket watch, bowed lightly toward them and said,  

“The carriage is ready.”  

Merilyn, unable to hide her excitement, quickly walked toward the entrance. Cecilia followed her, cautioning her along the way. Just as they were about to board the carriage, Cecilia’s eyes caught sight of a white shirt. It was Ethan.  

Though the distance made it difficult to discern his expression clearly, Cecilia could sense him pause upon seeing her. She, too, stopped momentarily and stared at him. It had been quite some time since she last saw Ethan, as he had been busy enough to skip meals in recent days.  

‘Should I greet him briefly?’  

Just as Cecilia parted her lips to speak,  

“Cecil, hurry up!”  

Merilyn, brimming with excitement at the thought of visiting the Royal Palace, called out to Cecilia from inside the carriage. Startled, Cecilia was practically pushed into the carriage. The door closed, and the carriage wheels began to roll slowly.  

Merilyn, meticulously arranging her skirt, lightly grabbed Cecilia’s arm. Her face was flushed with excitement as she said,  

“I was so excited I couldn’t sleep last night. Do you think many people will come?”  

Cecilia nodded.  

“Yes, they usually do. Most people attend banquets held at the Royal Palace.”  

“I’m so excited. You’ve grown used to these things, haven’t you? You’re probably not as thrilled as I am.”  

“Yes, I suppose so.”  

Pouting playfully, Merilyn said,  

“I feel like I’m the only one getting excited. But please understand—I haven’t had many experiences like this. I bet you were just as excited as I am when you first attended one.”  

Cecilia responded with a faint smile but said nothing. Contrary to Merilyn’s assumption, Cecilia had never felt excitement for grand banquets. Merilyn likely didn’t remember well, but Cecilia’s debutante had taken place not long after the deaths of the Earl and Countess.  

Cecilia had barely managed to attend her debutante, accompanied by a distant cousin serving as a nominal chaperone. Wherever she went, she was met with curious and pitying gazes. The whispers behind her back pierced like knives, yet no one offered her any comfort. From that time on, banquets had been nothing more than battlefields for Cecilia—places she entered without armor.  

Cecilia watched her younger sister, whose eyes sparkled with excitement, and felt a twinge of envy at her unshadowed innocence. But there was no bitterness or resentment in her heart. After all, it had been Cecilia’s decision to shoulder everything alone.  

‘I made a vow back then—to ensure that neither of you would ever be hurt like I was.’  

Cecilia reached out and gently stroked Merilyn’s hair. At times, the lack of anyone to lean on felt overwhelming, but the presence of her two younger siblings gave her strength to endure.  

‘As long as the two of you are happy, that’s enough.’  

Everything else could wait.  

Cecilia let out a quiet sigh. Throughout the journey to the Royal Palace, Merilyn’s cheerful voice filled the carriage.  

***

“Ah… unfortunately, I’m not feeling well.”  

Cecilia, with a troubled expression, declined the invitation to dance. Though she had no choice but to dance the first two songs with her partner, Matthias, she avoided stepping onto the floor unless absolutely necessary.  

However, it wasn’t entirely untrue that she wasn’t feeling well. Having stood for a long time in uncomfortable shoes, her legs had been aching for some time. Cecilia straightened her back and focused her gaze on Merilyn.  

‘Normally, I wouldn’t stay this late, but Merilyn seems to be enjoying herself.’  

Merilyn was undoubtedly the star of tonight’s banquet. From the moment she entered, she captivated everyone’s attention. With her cheerful personality, she effortlessly conversed with the young gentlemen at the banquet hall. She danced without a moment’s rest.  

Merilyn’s pale pink dress fluttered like a butterfly and settled like flower petals. Under the bright light of the chandelier, the tiny crystals scattered across her dress sparkled. As Merilyn leaned back slightly, her golden hair cascaded like honey, creating a breathtakingly beautiful sight.  

‘It seems she likes that man.’  

Watching her younger sister, Cecilia smiled warmly. Merilyn’s partner for the evening was a young gentleman from the Marquis of Blake’s household. Holding his hand, Merilyn’s face was radiant. Having raised her younger siblings since they were little, Cecilia could see Merilyn’s emotions as clearly as day.  

Just then, a familiar voice interrupted from behind.  

“Another rejection to dance?”  

Matthias quietly approached and handed Cecilia a glass of champagne. Cecilia accepted it with a blank expression and replied,  

“I’m tired.”  

Matthias, naturally taking the seat next to her, gestured toward Merilyn with a glance. With a chuckle, he joked,  

“How can two sisters look so completely different? It’s fascinating.”  

So what? What’s the point?  

Cecilia showed no reaction to Matthias’s words and brought the champagne glass to her lips. As always, she let his words go in one ear and out the other.  

But Matthias didn’t stop there.  

“Even your dresses are different. Your tastes seem to be as opposite as your personalities. Your sister’s style is much brighter and more eye-catching.”  

Cecilia’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. Revealing her discomfort subtly, she replied,  

“Lady Arle’s dress has a similar feel. If you’re bored, why don’t you ask her for a dance?”  

“That’s not what I meant. I’m saying you’d look much more vibrant if you dressed like that. Why do you always stick to such dull colors?”  

Matthias glanced at Cecilia’s stiffened expression and added casually,  

“I’ll make a reservation at a good place for you to have one tailored. It’s the least I can do for you.”  

“I don’t need it.”  

At Cecilia’s immediate response, Matthias’s face reddened slightly. Leaning closer to her, he lowered his voice and spoke quickly,  

“You never accept anything willingly. Why can’t you just take a gesture of goodwill as it is? That’s why you…”  

Matthias abruptly stopped mid-sentence. He realized that what he was about to say would be a mistake.  

Though Matthias’s words trailed off, Cecilia could guess exactly what he was going to say. He had already lashed out at her before, so his words weren’t anything new. Cecilia felt her blood run cold. She responded icily,  

“Go on. So I’m what? What comes next?”  

Matthias sighed deeply, lowering his head. Looking up to meet Cecilia’s gaze, he said,  

“It was a slip of the tongue.”  

“More like a slip of your true feelings.”  

“Cecilia.”  

Matthias’s violet eyes quivered slightly. With a weary expression, he continued,  

“I just want to get along with you, Cecil. Can’t you think of things more simply? Why are you so defensive? I’m trying, too.”  

Cecilia let out a hollow laugh. His words, subtly shifting the blame onto her, left her feeling drained.  

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m naturally cold and cynical.”  

“Don’t be sarcastic.”  

“…I’m tired. I’ll head back first.”  

Turning away from Matthias, Cecilia spoke. Matthias, sensing that continuing the conversation would only worsen the mood, nodded and said,  

“I’ll escort you.”  

“No need. We didn’t even come in the same carriage.”  

Matthias pressed his fingers against his temple as if he had a headache. His previously confident and polished demeanor now appeared slightly worn.  

“I’d feel uneasy letting you go like this.”  

“No.”  

Cecilia met Matthias’s gaze directly and said firmly,  

“If I go with you now, I think I’ll feel even more uncomfortable.”  

Matthias, who had been about to speak, closed his mouth tightly. While he seemed to acknowledge his mistake, he also didn’t want to concede to her.  

“Let’s talk another time. Didn’t I say I’m tired?”  

“…Fine. You do look exhausted. I’ll reach out again.”  

With a light nod, Cecilia turned her back on him.  

As the timing aligned with the end of the dance, Cecilia strode toward Merilyn.  

“Mer, just a moment.”  

Calling her sister aside, Cecilia whispered softly,  

“I’m not feeling well. I’m sorry, but I think it’s best if we leave now.”  

Merilyn’s eyes widened. Studying Cecilia’s pale face, she asked,  

“Are you feeling very unwell?”  

“Yes. I need to rest. I feel stifled.”  

“Well, if that’s the case…”  

Merilyn trailed off, her face filled with disappointment. At that moment, the young gentleman who had been Merilyn’s partner, Lawrence Blake from the Marquis of Blake’s household, approached and politely bowed.  

“It’s an honor to meet you, Lady Godwin. I’m Lawrence Blake.”  

“I’ve heard much about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  

Cecilia responded with a courteous smile. Glancing at Merilyn, Lawrence cautiously made a request.  

“Would it be all right if I escorted Miss Merilyn back to your estate? I know it’s a bold request, but I had promised to show her the upcoming illumination ceremony, so I ask for your kind consideration.”  

“Ah…”  

“I swear on my honor that I will ensure her safety. I promise there will be no cause for concern.”  

Cecilia hesitated, her expression troubled. While she knew Lawrence Blake to be an upright and reliable young man, leaving Merilyn behind and leaving alone was a difficult decision. Though it wasn’t unheard of for a partner’s carriage to be used for the return trip, Merilyn, in Cecilia’s eyes, was still her little sister.  

‘…Even if I feel suffocated, I should endure a bit longer.’  

At that moment, Merilyn gently tugged at Cecilia’s skirt, signaling her desire to stay.

Cecilia alternated her gaze between Merilyn and Matthias, who stood watching her from afar. If she chose to stay, the conversation she had just barely escaped with him would inevitably continue. The mere thought of it made her feel suffocated.