Chapter 38

Ryan had always been expected to live a life so perfect that he could serve as a model for other nobles. Since he was born with the name McClift, it was only natural that he devote his life to the prosperity of the Kingdom and his family. He had been indoctrinated to believe this for twenty-four years.

He had lived without much complaint, always obediently conforming to the standards of others.

‘I don’t choose men for money or status. I have no intention of using love for social climbing, like people say.’

Suddenly, Ryan recalled Daphne’s face, smiling bitterly by the sparkling lakeside.

‘If I could give up everything in life and choose just one thing, I’d choose love without hesitation. Even when choosing a spouse, if I could pick only one condition, I’d choose love. Money, fame, power—those superficial things mean nothing to me.’

‘There’s only one thing I truly wish for. To meet a partner I can love wholeheartedly for a lifetime. To love, rely on, and be happy with that person for a long, long time.’

Unbound by the suffocating values of society, free to pursue what she wanted.

Just like that.

Ryan believed the Daphne he saw that day was her true self. In a world where she had to wear mask upon mask, he believed that the brief glimpse of her honest heart was genuine.

He knew they didn’t suit each other.

Ryan’s index finger hovered dangerously close to Daphne’s cheek, moving toward her lips.

He knew they couldn’t be together.

Her lips were full and red, glistening with a hint of moisture inside.

Ryan’s throat moved.

If only he could indulge in those tempting lips as much as he wanted.

For a moment, he imagined her crying, begging, and pleading in his arms.

If only he could devour every last bit of that woman.

Without any time to think, just letting her body tremble endlessly with pleasure under his touch.

“……”

But in the end, Ryan withdrew his hand without touching Daphne’s lips.

Passionate, base, even violent desires he had never experienced before, and hadn’t even known existed within himself.

To suppress those desires, Ryan clenched his fist with all his strength. The blue veins on his hand stood out thickly.

He couldn’t stay like this.

Ryan shook his head to dispel the heat that was making his vision blur.

He felt guilty for having such thoughts in front of Daphne, who was sleeping, completely unaware. He was afraid of how quickly his reason and self-control were collapsing.

Before it was too late.

Before something truly irreversible happened, he had to leave.

“Ryan…?”

As Ryan, seized by sudden anxiety, tried to step back, Daphne, noticing his presence late, slowly opened her eyes.

“What are you doing there?”

She asked, yawning in a half-asleep voice.

The moment Ryan met her green eyes, hidden behind her eyelids, he couldn’t move. All the tangled thoughts in his head seemed to be erased in an instant by the sight of her eyes.

‘I am not the person you think I am.’

The message he needed to convey to her hovered on his tongue.

‘So I can’t stay by your side for long, and I shouldn’t stay.’

“It’s nothing.”

But what actually came out of his mouth was completely different from what he intended. It was polite and gentle, as if his mind and body were perfectly disconnected.

“Get some more sleep. I’ll be right here.”

“Mm. Just hearing that makes me feel safe.”

Daphne smiled at Ryan’s words, hugging her cushion with both arms. She buried her face deep into the cushion and slowly breathed in and out.

“So kind… you are.

She must have been very tired, because after her final words, she immediately closed her eyes.

Soft, regular breathing filled the air.

With Daphne asleep again in front of him, Ryan let out a long sigh.

Relief and despair surged in at once.

* * *

“Send this message to the capital.”

Ryan took out a document from his pocket and handed it over with an order.

“If you use the carrier pigeon, it should arrive within two days.”

The knight’s face darkened as he checked the short, neatly written message.

“Is this another notice of a delayed return?”

The knight asked cautiously.

“Sir, this is already the fourth time. I trust there’s a good reason for continuing to delay your schedule. But may I ask when you plan to return to the capital?”

The other three knights, standing beside him, listened with slightly tense faces.

They had kept silent out of reluctance to question Ryan’s decisions, but they, too, were curious about his intentions.

It had been almost a month since they suddenly began staying in this remote village called Hillsboro, following Ryan.

Originally, Ryan should have had a formal meeting with Count Sinclair, the lord of this region, and then immediately returned to the capital. The schedule was supposed to be two or three days at shortest, a week at most.

But now, well past the planned date, Ryan showed no sign of leaving. In fact, he seemed to have forgotten why he had come here in the first place. Instead of arranging a meeting with Count Sinclair, he spent most of his time with the Count’s niece.

And all while hiding his true identity as Duke McClift.

“I’ll be returning soon.”

Ryan answered in a blunt tone.

“I’ve just delayed my schedule a bit because there are still matters to resolve. Once that’s done, I’ll leave right away.”

“Matters to resolve?”

The knight pressed, sensing something unclear in Ryan’s answer.

“Sir, are these matters related to Count Sinclair?”

“……”

“If not, could they be related to his niece, Daphne Sinclair?”

“When did you become my superior, Sir?”

The moment Daphne Sinclair’s name came from the knight’s mouth, Ryan’s indifferent gaze turned cold and menacing.

“Do I have to report everything to you now?”

The temperature dropped in an instant.

The knight who asked, as well as the other two, shrank back from Ryan’s chilling aura. It seemed they had forgotten, after so long away from the battlefield—

Ryan Everett McClift.

Just what kind of man they served.

“I’m sorry. I was only worried for your safety, Sir…”

The knight bent slightly in apology. He had fought on countless battlefields and crossed swords with many warriors, but never had he met anyone like his Lord.

Calm and cool-headed, but at the same time overwhelming and frightening.

Ryan was a man who inspired respect, awe, and fear in his subordinates.

Someone trustworthy enough to entrust one’s life to in any situation, but never someone you’d want to face as an enemy.

The gentlemanly image he showed in public was just one side of him.

“I guess I’ve grown uneasy, since our stay here has lasted longer than expected. I made a mistake, Sir. Please forgive my error.”

“I’ll let it go once. But there won’t be a second time. Do you understand?”

“Of course, Sir.”

At the knight’s humble posture, Ryan withdrew his menacing aura. The knight felt the pressure choking him ease away.

“Oh, and about what I mentioned before.”

As the knight secretly sighed in relief, Ryan spoke up, as if remembering something.

“I asked you to look into Dublin Sinclair in more detail. Do you remember?”

“Of course, Sir.”

The Knights quickly replied with tense faces.

“If you allow what we discussed, we can start the mission today.”

“No. There’s no need.”

“Sir?”

“There’s no need anymore. From now on, I’ll look into it myself.”

Ryan repeated himself for the confused knights. Once they understood, they looked very surprised. After all, for the Duke himself to take on a tedious task like information gathering, it was only natural to be shocked.

“Sir, if it’s because you were disappointed in us last time…”

“That’s not it. I just want to do it myself.”

Ryan denied their worries without hesitation.

“That’s enough. Dismissed.”

With that, he gave the order to disperse. No further explanation was given to the three Knights, who were left in confusion.