Realizing this, everything about the passionate lovemaking from moments ago felt like a lie.

Even with such vivid warmth nestled against him, it all seemed like it would scatter at any moment.

Seized by a sudden rush of fear, Thear pulled Lysiana’s small shoulders tightly into his arms. Reluctant to let the fading warmth slip away, he pressed his body flush against hers and buried his lips in the crown of her head, just beneath his chin.

“…I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

Careful not to wake Lysiana, Thear breathed out the words like air and offered her his apology.

Too meager to be called atonement, too trivial to be called an apology.

Still, he felt that saying even this much might dull the sharp edge of his guilt.

What a petty, selfish man.

Even as he lashed himself with that thought, Thear could not let go of the woman in his arms, and so he stayed awake through the night.

Praying to God to please stop time, for he could not bear to see it pass.

Resenting the pale light of dawn that began to break at the edges of the sky.

“Lysiana.”

Telling himself that the warmth of this moment was enough to last him a lifetime.

“…I love you.”

Only in the last moments before sunrise did he finally speak aloud the confession he could never deliver.

* * *

He first met Lysiana shortly after Thear came of age, at a hunting tournament he had been dragged to against his will.

A nobleman who loved to show off had hosted the party, and he still remembered how loud and extravagant it had been.

“Hey, half-wit.”

“….”

“Ignoring me?”

It was a time when Thear went by the name “half-wit” and was treated with contempt.

Born from a single night of reckless indulgence by the Marquis of Havertz, Thear carried the mark of that disgrace, and people treated him accordingly.

“Insolent b*stard.”

“Honestly, can’t stand him.”

“Enough, both of you. People are watching.”

Fortunately, the Marquis of Havertz was not so depraved as to ignore the seed he had sown.

Even if the Marchioness of Havertz and his half-brothers despised him, the Marquis at least counted himself among those who fulfilled a father’s duty.

Even if that duty amounted to treating him much the same as a pet he kept.

“Thear. Go deeper into the woods and you should be able to catch a deer.”

He provided what was needed and taught him what he could, and when Thear proved his worth, the Marquis showed genuine pleasure.

Perhaps it was that attitude that made Thear so desperate to meet his expectations.

“My share too. You understand?”

That day, Thear’s task was to make sure his half-brothers didn’t embarrass themselves.

They had gone off to mingle with the sons of distinguished families, leaving Thear alone.

A stag should do.

Since he had to bring back a clean haul for his brothers as well, Thear had been moving diligently since morning.

His own hunting dog was his only companion.

“Mill! Leave the rabbit alone. Bringing one back will only earn us mockery.”

He held back his hunting dog, who was pawing at a rabbit burrow, and made his way deeper into the forest.

From the other side came the voices of his brothers and other nobles. They were trading remarks about each other’s hunting skills, enjoying the sport.

Killing animals for fun isn’t really my thing.

Even after k*lling countless men on the battlefield, k*lling animals somehow didn’t sit right with him. Unless it was for food, at least.

But Thear at that time was not a man with enough room to spare for something as simple as sympathy.

He gritted his teeth, determined to catch his father’s eye even once more, while his brothers worked hard to keep him from climbing any higher.

They even resorted to violence without hesitation. He never fought back. That was the only way to earn even a scrap of his father’s pity.

After it happened a few times, his brothers began to look down on Thear even more. They were utterly convinced that a few punches were all it took to keep him in his place.

Idiots.

Even as he mocked his brothers inwardly, Thear kept steadily at his hunting. Like it or not, he had a job to do.

His father surely knew what was going on, so the least he could do was give him something to be proud of.

It was with that thought in mind that he pushed deeper and deeper into the forest.

That was when Thear’s hunting dog suddenly broke into fierce barking and bolted straight ahead.

“Mill! Come back!”

Thear called out, but the dog wouldn’t listen. He had no choice but to follow in the direction the dog had run.

Woof woof! The dog barked from not too far away. There was the sound of a person nearby as well.

Has someone gotten into trouble?

As Thear pushed through the undergrowth in search of his dog, he locked eyes with a girl perched on a rock.

She looked like she hadn’t yet come of age. Seventeen, perhaps. Either way, she looked a little younger than Thear.

At her feet, his hunting dog sat wagging its tail.

“…Do you need help?”

“Oh….”

When Thear spoke to her, the girl’s mouth fell half open.

Her blank eyes filled with bewilderment. She clearly hadn’t expected him to speak to her.

Ah. Right, of course.

Thear was the blemish of a marquis family, an impurity in high society.

No noble wanted to speak with him. Even if the other party was the child of some knight whose name he didn’t even know.

“I’m Thear, of the Havertz Marquisate.”

Still, Thear had to speak to the girl.

To say nothing to a young lady he had stumbled upon by chance in a place like this would come across as rude. And that was the one thing the Marquis of Havertz hated most.

The very man who had made Thear into something lesser despised seeing him treated with contempt for lesser things. He seemed to think it reflected on his own honor.

“May I ask your name?”

Thear asked, but again the girl gave no answer.

If no answer came, he planned to simply go on his way.

Someone will come for her.

Thear looked her over.

Her skin was fair, and her lips were flushed in uneven patches, the way they look after being bitten many times. The boots visible beneath her skirt, cut for ease of movement, had a little dirt on them but were brand new.

Not expensive, but new enough to say she came from a family that could afford to have fresh clothes made.

Women go riding, don’t they?

By the look of it, she had ridden into the forest with her horse and then lost her way alone.

Even as Thear worked all this out, the girl still hadn’t answered.

He was used to this kind of treatment, but the bitterness that came with it never got any easier to bear.

Just do what needs to be done.

He had finally given up and was about to turn away.

“…Lysiana.”

The girl answered in a very small voice.

“Lysiana. Of the Asherton Viscounty.”

Her voice was a little louder this time.

Thear looked at her in surprise.

The girl sat with both hands folded together on her thighs, her shoulders drawn in shyly as she looked back at him.

Just then, a shaft of sunlight broke through the leaves and fell across her green eyes, the color of the undergrowth around them.

“Miss Asherton.”

Thear spoke to her once more. Perhaps because hearing an answer for once was something to be glad about.

“Why are you out here alone?”

“Well….”

The girl who had given her name as Lysiana was very slow to answer. Slow enough to feel a little frustrating.

But she wasn’t ignoring him.

That response pleased him more than he expected, and Thear waited for her next words without pressing her.

“My horse got spooked by something and suddenly bolted on its own…. I got lost.”

“I see. If you go straight in this direction, you can return to the starting point. Do you need me to show you the way?”

At his carefully wrung-out attempt at a kind voice, Lysiana glanced at him once more.

“No. I’ll be fine.”

At last, Lysiana gave a slow shake of her head.

Then she stroked the hunting dog’s head with what looked like reluctance.

“Bye, doggy. Stay safe.”

Lysiana, petting the dog with the kind of name a small child would use, gave a small smile.

The smile brought her otherwise faint impression to life.

He liked the look of it, and found himself wanting to talk a little longer.

“Isn’t he a bit too big and rough-looking to be called ‘doggy’?”

“…Pardon?”

He thought that if he spoke to her, Lysiana would lift her head with that smile still on her face and look at him.

“Ah…. Well, I didn’t know his name….”

But instead of smiling, Lysiana flushed with embarrassment. She timidly ducked her head and withdrew the hand she had been using to pet the dog.

“His name is Mill. He’s five years old.”

“…Mill. So that’s your name, Mill.”

“Yes. It’s a nickname, of course.”

“A nickname…?”

“His full name is Rye¹“호밀 (homil)” (literally “rye” as in the grain/bread). “Mill” as the nickname for “밀” (short for 호밀). The joke is that the dog’s “full name” is Rye and “Mill” is the nickname..”

“….”

He had thrown out what he thought was a clever joke, but the girl’s expression remained blank. He felt he had said something needlessly foolish.

“It was just a joke….”

“…Pfft….”

He was growing awkward and about to make some excuse, when Lysiana finally reacted.

Her gentle, wide eyes curved softly, and both cheeks flushed pink. The even teeth that showed between her slightly parted lips were charming.

“Out of all the names I’ve ever heard… well, it’s the cutest one.”

Even such a common compliment felt like more than he deserved.

The question rose sharply within him: Was I always this starved for affection and human connection?

“Bye, Rye.”

In the meantime, Lysiana gave the hunting dog a few more pats on the head and rose from her seat.

“Thank you… for telling me the way.”

She gave Thear a small bow and moved to leave without a second thought.

“Wait, Miss Asherton.”

Thear called out urgently as she turned away.

He hadn’t noticed while she was sitting on the rock, but watching her walk, he could see she had twisted her ankle. And with her horse gone too, how did she plan to get back on her own?

I can’t just send her off to walk alone.

His thinking was simple: he had his horse, so he could take her back quickly and return.

He also had, if he was being honest, a small hope that they might talk a little more.

“Yes?”

“I’ll escort you back.”

“…Pardon? But weren’t you heading into the forest, sir?”

“I can’t very well send a lady walking through the forest alone.”

“But….”

Lysiana’s eyes darted around as she hesitated.

“Please take my horse. I’ll help you up.”

Thear willingly knelt on one knee for Lysiana.