He turned his head to the side, kissed my cheek lightly several times, then headed to the bed.

“Just look at it a little and come quickly.”

“There’s still a long way to go.”

“I can’t sleep without you anymore.”

“…”

“Take responsibility.”

In the end, endlessly soft when it came to him, I had no choice but to close the book.

* * *

It was a continuous stream of dreamlike moments. Ernst showered me with love ceaselessly. 

He’d been kind even when we were distant, but now he looked after me and cherished me so attentively that the word “kind” wasn’t enough.

I secretly hoped Perillis would visit once, but there was no particular reason for him to come, so we had no choice but to spend time alone together. Of course, I was more than satisfied.

However, he’d recently told me that things were almost safe now and he’d be getting busier, and he seemed more hectic than I’d expected. Ernst, who used to tease me or exchange trivial conversations even during the day in his study, now devoted his daytime hours entirely to work.

<Duke Russell’s Moves – Will He Participate in Railroad Construction in the Diaro Region?>

<What’s Behind the Secret Meeting Between Duke Russell and Marquis Karli?>

I lightly skimmed the headlines of the newspaper on the living room table. Today, like any other day, reports about Duke Russell were rampant. The more articles there were, the busier he became. 

Since I could quietly watch Ernst’s face as he slept more deeply at night than before, I didn’t feel disappointed that his days were taken from me. I was only worried his health might suffer.

Today, without fail, Ernst was busy. 

A guest had come, and they’d been talking in the drawing room for over two hours already. He’d definitely said he had another appointment. I felt anxious for no reason. So I ended up doing something I normally wouldn’t have done.

Usually, I never went near the drawing room or study no matter who he was meeting. There was no need to be noticed. 

But this time, afraid his schedule might get tangled, I lingered near the drawing room, and then pressed my ear close to the door to gauge whether there was any sign of them finishing.

“When are you going to show off the child you’re sponsoring?”

It was the other person’s voice. At the unexpected word that came from his mouth, I—who’d only meant to sense the atmosphere—froze on the spot. If it was a benefactor mentioned here…

“Who knows.”

“It must be nice to play around with her, but a commoner is a bit, isn’t it? Especially with this trade deal.”

My heart gradually beat faster. No matter how I looked at it, he was referring to me. A toy that’s fun to play with. Externally we were just benefactor and beneficiary, but that’s how it looked. 

Because I was a commoner.

My breath stopped at the improper remark, but only for a moment. The gentle voice I’d thought would protect me chilled unbearably and dragged my expectations into the mud.

“Do I look serious to you?”

The cold sarcasm pierced through the door and froze me as I stood there blankly. The other person was also silent.

What on earth is this?

Was that… really what Ernst said?

“Marquis Karli likes black hair, you know. That’s why I’m keeping her.”

Marquis Karli. The one I’d just seen in the newspaper.

Ah, that person likes black hair. I have rare black hair, so that’s why.

My breath caught. The shock exceeded my tolerance, and tears didn’t even come. No. No. This can’t be. I must have misheard…

“That kind of misunderstanding is unwelcome.”

I hadn’t.

Suddenly my legs gave out and my body swayed greatly. I barely managed to support myself against the wall with trembling arms and fled up to my room.

He deceived me? He’s been playing with me? To sell me off to another noble? 

Even this morning he’d showered me with endless kisses like he didn’t want to leave me alone.

I couldn’t believe it. All of Ernst’s infinitely affectionate behavior toward me was nothing but lies. 

No, before that, was the story about Lucas a lie from the start? Then saving me? That situation where I could have died was a lie? Or was even that a staged situation?

My jumbled mind refused any further thought. I collapsed weakly on the bed and closed my eyes.

It had been a sweet midday dream. I should have hesitated just a little longer. I shouldn’t have forgotten that I could fall into a trap in an instant. 

What was I so confident about? 

Even after tasting the bitterness of betrayal, I’d been foolishly enchanted again and had to taste the pain of my heart being torn to shreds once more.

“Liv, you need to eat.”

“My stomach still doesn’t feel good.”

“I’m worried. How about calling Perillis?”

“No. I think I’ll be fine if I rest just one more day.”

“Lie down.”

He pulled a chair over to the bedside, looking like he was going to nurse me. Not even a serious illness, just an upset stomach.

I’d fallen for this calculated kindness. A bitter smile came. Even in this situation, I loathed my weak self for wanting to lean on his kindness.

“I’m fine. My stomach’s just a bit queasy. You’re busy, so go ahead. I’m really okay.”

At my repeated refusals, Ernst stared at me for a while, then firmly warned that if I didn’t get better, he couldn’t tolerate any more stubbornness. 

He insisted on staying by my side until I fell asleep, so when I lay quietly and pretended to sleep, he even watched for a long while before leaving. Fortunately. If he’d insisted on staying together, I might have really vomited in front of him.

Even after that day when I wanted to believe it was all a dream, Ernst remained consistently kind to me. Really, like everything I’d heard was false. But the scratch from my nails that I’d clenched in shock that day was vivid.

‘Marquis Karli likes black hair, you know. That’s why I’m keeping her.’

When I closed my eyes, that unfamiliarly cold voice echoed vividly in my head. From the terribly endless repeating nightmare, I could be certain of one thing.

A woman with rare black hair. Because of Marquis Karli’s unique taste, Ernst was keeping me just in case.

Judging by what the newspapers were making a fuss about, astronomical profits were probably involved, so the plan was to offer me as a sacrifice to gain benefits from the Marquis.

No matter how much I twisted my thoughts, they led to only one conclusion. I’d once jumped to conclusions about a conversation with Perillis, so I tried to be cautious, but Ernst’s pronunciation had been all too clear to be a misunderstanding. 

Not serious, misunderstandings are unpleasant. What would be the point of asking someone who was trying to sell me off? That would be no different from presenting myself on a platter to be taken. A foolish thing to do.

I decided to run away. From a relationship built entirely on lies and deception, where I couldn’t tell what was true from start to finish, there was nothing more to expect. 

How pathetic would Lucas think I was for saying I loved Ernst to death and finding the will to live?

How ridiculous must I and this situation have been to Ernst? Me clinging to him saying I liked him, that I loved him, knowing nothing. 

He might have acted kind on the outside while laughing heartily inside, calling me stupid and foolish. Where else would you find an idiot who throws herself at him and even warms his bed?

Hollow laughter burst out, tsk, tsk.

Then I realized something absurd. Despite countless times our bodies touched, Ernst had never confessed his love to me. Only me. Always only me craving him, pushing for a confession, forcibly squeezing out an answer.

I’d been a fool. How easy it must have been when the puppet he was using crawled to him on her own. I scattered my leaking self-mockery into the air and steeled my heart.

* * *

The time came sooner than expected. I maintained the most harmless shell possible. Like before, loving him and not knowing what to do at his every word.

“I’ll be back late at night. If you’re scared, call Perillis.”

“No. I’m fine. I’m not a child.”

When I grinned and shook my head, Ernst looked down at me silently. All he had to do was open the door, but he only held the doorknob and hesitated to turn it.

“Why?”

I opened my eyes wide and blinked slowly. For a moment, dark heat flashed greatly in Ernst’s eyes. Smack, smack, smack. Light kisses followed one after another.

“Aren’t you going? What if you’re late?”

When I lightly pushed his chest with our lips still pressed together, Ernst said it was the last one, stirred deeply inside my mouth, and slowly pulled away. Vivid regret crossed his face as he stared at my glistening lips.

“I’ll be back, Liv.”

“Okay.”

“You seem less disappointed today. I’m hurt.”

“That can’t be. I’ll be waiting with my neck stretched out. Come back early.”

When I drooped my eyebrows and filled them with disappointment, Ernst finally curved his long eyes with satisfaction and left the house. I quickly approached the window by the door. 

The car carrying him grew smaller and smaller until it finally became a dot and disappeared completely.

I’d confirmed that today’s schedule was quite an important appointment. Since it was covered in the articles, it couldn’t be fake.

I packed quickly. The wardrobe was packed with clothes Ernst had brought every day, saying he’d thought of me. I slowly swept over the clothes. 

The incredibly flashy clothes all didn’t suit me. For an insignificant commoner like me.

I suddenly turned my eyes away from the clothes steeped in deception. 

I randomly stuffed into a bag only the clothes I’d worn when I came here and the two most plain ones I had. Then I opened the jewelry box I’d kept preciously on one side of the desk.

The palm-sized jewelry box was packed with all kinds of jewels, dazzling enough to blind the eyes. The jewels I’d received as gifts from Ernst all had large stones and delicate craftsmanship. 

Even to my untrained eye, they were obviously expensive. I picked out the two most plain and ordinary ones. Only those that would be hardest to trace and easiest to sell.

I was sorry to Ernst, but I needed money, so I had no choice. A miserable and tragic feeling tried to well up, but I put it aside. I repeated it like I was brainwashing myself to justify it. 

If I considered it the price for him deceiving and enjoying fooling me, wouldn’t it be about even? No, maybe I got off cheap.

I giggled like a crazy person and removed the earrings still hanging from my earlobes. Earrings with round rubies set in them. 

Utterly ordinary, but not ordinary to me alone—the earrings that were no longer meaningful memories. I stared at them for a long while, then carefully placed them in the jewelry box.

That was the end of my preparations. It was so simple and sparse that I kept laughing.