I was falling downward through pitch-black surroundings. The realization that my feet couldn’t touch the ground suddenly terrified me, raising goosebumps on my arms. I thrashed my legs frantically, trying somehow to stand, but my pitiful kicks only stirred empty air.

“Uh, uh.”

A blocked scream flowed out like a whimper, and then my body gradually grew hot with fever. I struggled, succumbing to the endless darkness, the fall, and the pain that felt like my body was burning.

I’m scared, I’m scared! Lucas! Lucas!

I called out desperately for my brother, swallowed by the darkness. It had been so long. But those warm purple eyes like mine, which had always looked at me so kindly, never appeared no matter how long I waited.

“Liv.”

I was sobbing when it happened. A voice both strange and familiar whispered my name. Maybe it’s my brother.

Random thoughts sparked. I struggled to lift my eyelids while falling.

“It’s okay now.”

The monotonous, low voice somehow reassured me. Encouraged by the calm comfort, I put more strength into my eyelids that kept refusing to open.

“So open your eyes.”

Like those words were a spell, my eyes snapped open.

“Good job.”

Low laughter brushed past my ears, drunk with haziness. This was a world bathed in soft light. I’d definitely been plummeting endlessly downward. What in the world happened?

The thoughts that were about to continue endlessly were cut short. Warmth suddenly touched my cool cheek.

“You can cry more if you want.”

Gentle warmth slowly swept across my cheek. With that delicate movement, the cold moisture that had dampened my face gradually disappeared.

The stroking hand passed back and forth several times, and when the tender skin finally dried completely, the warmth withdrew. I somehow regretted losing that faint warmth and wanted to bring it back, but instead I slowly turned my gaze.

“You seem more conscious now.”

The man who had wiped my cheek sat leaning back in a chair with his arms crossed. His Adam’s apple protruded between the white shirt with a few buttons undone. 

His large hand had clearly wandered over my cheek, yet he was already that far away. His gaze was cast at me like words casually tossed out, seemingly to himself.

“You were sick for three days.”

“……”

“Seeing you cry and move your body, you seem fine now.”

His gaze went down from my face, lower, all the way to my toes, then leisurely came back up. An emotion suddenly surged in me—wanting to avoid him staring at me quietly with those deep blue eyes.

But it was before I could turn my gaze away. He muttered like a whisper.

“You don’t even seem surprised that the first thing you see when you open your eyes is me, which seems strange.”

My eyes, which must have lost their vitality, fixed on him. I wanted to snap back that since the face I saw before fainting was his, anyone with a properly attached brain would have expected it, but I held back.

Anyway, Ernst had saved my life. I had at least that much sense.

“You’re not hurt anywhere, so you’ll be able to get up soon. Look around then. This is my house and also where you’ll be living from now on.”

He said this while pulling his upper body forward. The distance between us narrowed significantly. Only his particularly red lips moved busily on his monotonous expression. I fidgeted with my fingers hidden under the blanket.

“Someone will come for meals and cleaning when it’s time, but there’s no servant. Ah, I’ll bring your meals for the time being.”

There was no sign of arrogance or showing off anywhere in his manner of saying he’d personally attend to me until I recovered. No sign of acting suspiciously either. He simply seemed to be reciting rules to someone he’d come to live with.

Ernst, who had stopped speaking when he’d finished the business he’d saved up for three days, opened his mouth quietly with seriousness added to his face as he stared at me watching him. The leisurely atmosphere suddenly tightened and stiffened.

“Even if it’s unfamiliar and suspicious, you only have me. Your only house burned down and you have no one to protect you.”

The firmness in his gentle tone was clear. I stared piercingly at his deeply colored blue eyes.

“I’m going to be your guardian. As your one and only Benefactor.”

It clearly wasn’t a threat or intimidation, yet at his unilateral notification, I couldn’t make any rebuttal, like a rabbit shrunk before a predator.

“You’d better give up any thoughts of dying, Liv.”

Ernst’s lips, which had never bent throughout, curved upward in a beautiful arc. Even after he left, I remained frozen like a statue for a long time.

It was the beginning of my bleak cohabitation with the man.

* * *

This two-story house, neither large nor small, was about an hour by train from Sale, where I’d originally lived. Ernst, who smiled faintly saying he liked it because it was quiet, declared that I’d like this place, Hern, too.

I didn’t show it outwardly, but I quietly nodded inside. I really hated crowded places.

I sat with my chin propped on the windowsill, quietly observing outside the window where trees that seemed twice my height jutted up here and there. I hadn’t gone outside the house yet so I didn’t know for sure, but it seemed like a place hidden like a villa somewhere in the mountains.

Ernst seemed to dislike people even more than I did. He told me to let him know in advance if I wanted to go out since we were quite far from town. 

Moreover, though only about two weeks had passed, I’d never once seen a visitor come looking for him. Even if I hadn’t paid attention, wasn’t never seeing one even once a bit much? 

Anyway, it seemed certain he had few close people.

In any case, during these two weeks that felt disconnected from reality, I thought and thought again.

Who is he? Does he truly want to take care of me? Is he really close friends with Lucas?

Endless thoughts assaulted me terribly, but I, not in my right mind, couldn’t easily pull out an answer.

At that moment when the hot flames opened their jaws ready to swallow me immediately, Ernst had pulled me out. He’d also looked after me for several days while I was unconscious. 

Though I scrutinized his behavior and conduct while receiving Ernst’s care, I saw no suspicious bad behavior at all.

That was an undeniable clear truth. But what if there was another purpose behind it?

For now I was obediently staying quietly within Ernst’s shadow, but I hadn’t completely withdrawn my suspicions about him yet. If only I could find even a single piece. If only there was proof that the man would be my complete guardian.

So I finally decided to move directly myself.

After appreciating for a long time the peaceful scenery drawn by lush greenery and birds flapping their wings among it, I came out of my room. The hallway was quiet since I used the second floor and Ernst used the first floor.

The second floor had everything except the kitchen and dining room—bathroom, small study, and such—so the second floor alone was sufficient for living. 

I only went down to the first floor when hungry, and fortunately there was no rule that we had to eat together, so food rarely got cold.

I deliberately killed my footsteps and crept down to the lower floor. The reason I, who usually stayed holed up on the second floor except at mealtimes, went down was to have a meal and also check what he was doing now.

“……get lost.”

I faintly heard Ernst’s voice. The tone was somewhat rough, but strangely I wasn’t surprised.

Soon I heard a small click of a door, followed by a leisurely voice calling my name. I had just stepped on the last stair.

“Liv.”

Slightly startled, my shoulders flinched. It was quieter than the sound of leaves rustling in the wind—how did he notice?

But a more puzzling fact blocked the doubt that was about to follow. Ernst didn’t usually call my name this way. 

Whatever I did, wherever I wandered around the house, it was outside his concern. Even when I deliberately crossed in front of him reading the newspaper at the dining table, he never said a word.

No matter how much I stayed only on the second floor, it wasn’t like I never encountered him at all. 

Nevertheless, except when he had business, he seemed not to easily involve himself with me. It felt like he considered me an outsider who no longer needed care since I’d fully recovered.

For someone who’d been so eager to bring me here, his attitude was quite indifferent. Whether the appearance until he’d persuaded me and I’d just recovered my strength was all a fabrication—anyway, that’s how it was.

Though this was surely the life I’d wanted, forced to live with him unwillingly, strangely that fact drew from me an inexplicably bothersome emotion like a hangnail.

“I forgot. I should have asked you to be careful when guests come.”

His always monotonous and leisurely voice held something like slight reproach. Probably directed at himself.

He wasn’t even blaming me, yet I suddenly felt petty. 

The man who’d been indifferent whether I wandered around as I pleased—his first words to me were like that. But regardless of what I thought, Ernst’s words continued.

“Except for then, you can wander around as you please. Let me know if you need anything.”

Perhaps because he had to meet a guest, his hair, half swept back, was especially neat today. 

His gaze conveying only business was concise, and his shadowed nose bridge stood out sharply like a blade. 

He was as broad-minded and cold as those wide shoulders that swallowed up all the sunlight rushing through the window.

“Then do what you were going to do.”

Ernst, who’d been meeting my staring gaze throughout, ended the conversation and turned around. His gait was lighter and more efficient than expected. Only after I heard the door close did I slowly turn my body and climb the stairs to the second floor.

I unconsciously slammed the door shut while soaking in the warmth of the room I’d entered.

* * *

One day Ernst called me and spoke. Or was it a notification?

“You seem completely recovered now, so I’m telling you again, Liv. I’m going to take care of you. Because outside is dangerous.”

These were the words he’d said when we met at my brother’s funeral, and when I first came to this house. 

The nuance was that he’d given me time until now because my body and mind were hurt. It seemed he was saying this now to drive the point home, since I seemed to have recovered my health to some degree.