Life truly returned to her face for the first time in a while, so Rihanel thought it was fortunate. However, right after that, her emotions entered into him.

At the feeling that pierced his heart, Rihanel momentarily furrowed his brows and closed his eyes.

Longing, then anguish followed.

Though she kept her face expressionless, Janet was in pain as she watched the boy and girl.

Since he began seeing Janet’s memories, the emotions he felt from her occasionally, or often, were consistently such things.

Rihanel painfully contorted his face.

‘Stop it, Janet. You came here to forget about our affairs. But why……’

Rihanel painfully spat words toward Janet. But they all became bubbles and disappeared.

Just as it had always been for the past month.

From the night of Philodis, her memories continued on. There was no stopping like a dream or jumping to the next situation.

And Rihanel had been wandering in those memories for a month.

He always hovered around Janet. He watched where her gaze was directed and heard her voice. At night he watched from beside her as she had nightmares with her brows tightly furrowed.

During that time he felt all the emotions Janet experienced.

But that was all, Rihanel could do nothing.

‘Janet.’

He couldn’t comfort her or exchange words while meeting her eyes. He couldn’t leave that place because it was painful, nor could he sleep or drink.

All he could do was just look at Janet.

Janet existed in all his time, but Rihanel didn’t exist in her time.

“I…… I’ll rest for today.”

When Janet spoke to Theo, he approached one step with worried eyes.

“Are you feeling unwell? I’ll take you there.”

“No. I just want to think alone for a moment.”

At Janet’s firm words, Theo nodded while forcing a smile. Janet immediately turned around and left the place as if fleeing.

She moved her steps aimlessly like that and got into a stagecoach.

‘Where are you trying to go?’

Rihanel asked worriedly. However, Janet only curled up alone.

There was no destination. She said she would rest, but she didn’t know where to go. She just felt like going far away.

The place she arrived at was a village a little away from the capital. Janet moved her steps again there.

Her chest felt stuffy. Something she couldn’t tell anyone. The too-heavy memory continued to torment Janet.

She who had been walking endlessly while only looking at the ground stopped in front of a building. She raised her head to look up.

Above the small cathedral, a cross caught her eye.

“……!”

Janet swallowed quietly.

Thump, thump, thump. Her heart beat violently.

After the night of Philodis, Janet turned her head while hiding her trembling heart whenever a cross caught her eye. Each time she couldn’t bear it because that day’s events came to mind.

But……

She couldn’t run away anymore from here. The box where she had hidden fear and guilt seemed about to burst at any moment. Now it was at it’s limit.

So Janet reached her hand toward the cathedral door.

Creak, the door opened. The empty cathedral was quiet and silent.

Looking inside, Janet’s eyes caught a small wooden confessional near the entrance.

Janet headed straight there and entered inside. And she slowly clasped her hands together tightly and knelt down.

Taking one small breath, she let out a trembling voice.

“I…… set fire to a cathedral.”

If she had to confess somewhere, she wanted to confess to God who had been watching over them.

So she told the story. What happened that night at the cathedral.

She had pretended to be composed and endured, but in truth it wasn’t so. It was difficult. Everything seemed to have gone wrong. Now she wasn’t confident about her decisions.

“That child said he didn’t want to do it, but I forced him to set the fire. Did I make the wrong choice?”

Cracks appeared in her calm expression. Her face contorted. Janet’s voice was mixed with tears.

And Rihanel watching such her painfully shook his head.

No. If you hadn’t done that, my life would have stopped right there. Or else I would have spent my lifetime buried in darkness.

Thanks to you I’m here. The you of that time protected me, and the you of now even erased the stigma drawn on us.

Your choice was right. So……

“Don’t suffer.”

A low voice flowed from him.

“……!”

Rihanel’s gaze wavered.

How did this happen? My voice shouldn’t be able to reach her. Am I going crazy now? Maybe I’m mistaken that my words can be heard by others.

Even so, harboring faint hope, Rihanel examined Janet’s expression.

However, Janet also raised her tear-wet head with surprised eyes. Surely she had heard his words too.

Maybe Janet could see him now. With a face flushed with small hope, he reached his hand toward Janet.

However, just like that, Rihanel’s hand passed through Janet.

Janet looked around without feeling him at all. And she threw a small question toward the wall in front.

“Are you a priest?”

Thinking that though she thought no one was there, there must have been a priest on the other side.

“……”

As expected, she couldn’t see him.

An impulse arose to tell her that Nel Siphren she spoke of was here. He wanted to let her know of his existence that had been isolated for over a month without reaching anyone.

However.

What he should say now wasn’t such a thing.

Even if he said he was here, if she couldn’t see him, it would only plant greater fear in her.

Rather than that, even borrowing the priest’s name, there was something he wanted to say to Janet now.

So Rihanel lowered his outstretched hand and asked.

“……Do you regret that day’s events?”

At the voice she heard again, Janet was lost in thought for a moment. However, she eventually shook her head resolutely.

“No, I don’t regret it.”

“Then trust your choice. The one you wanted to protect with that choice surely was saved because of you.”

At those words, Janet slowly shook her head.

“Was it really so? That child wants to forget me…… I can no longer appear before that child. It’s as if all the light in the world has gone out.”

She bit her lips tightly. Her lips trembled.

Rihanel knelt and sat beside her.

“Just because clouds cover the sun doesn’t mean the sun has disappeared. Though not visible, you are still shining.”

He stroked above Janet’s hair. Like putting his hand to smoke, he felt no sensation. It was natural, as it had always been until now.

However, Janet somehow felt as if the surrounding air was embracing her.

Relief welled up without her knowing. It was an emotion that had never come to her who had only been tense every day since that day.

Rihanel continued speaking.

“Clouds move slowly but they pass by someday. They also disappear after scattering rain. So surely, there will be a moment when the terrible nightmare fades for you too.”

“Yes……”

Tears that Janet had been holding back flowed from her eyes. Her body shook.

‘So……’

Rihanel spoke to Janet. However, his voice didn’t come out again.

Live now, Janet. Don’t hurt too much, don’t sit down held back by past connections. Live your life.

Those words couldn’t be conveyed in the end, and he was isolated again.

As if the moment he was able to talk to her had been a dream.

Rihanel sadly looked down.

Janet cried for a long while after that. However, her face when she came out of the confessional was much lighter.

Thinking that was at least fortunate, Rihanel followed her and moved his steps again.

***

“Rihanel.”

Janet sat by the sleeping man’s bedside and whispered. However, Rihanel just quietly kept his eyes closed.

Several more days had passed since she woke up, but Rihanel still showed no signs of waking.

Janet took out a handkerchief from her bosom. It had red flower vines drawn on it. It was cleanly washed after being stained with his blood.

Rihanel had smiled brightly when she said this was his. If she had known he would like it so much, she wouldn’t have taken it back. No, she should have just given it as a gift on Rihanel’s birthday originally……

Trivial moments that had passed by now came to mind. Janet pulled one of his hands toward her.

And she was about to put the handkerchief in that hand, then pulled her hand back again.

“It won’t work right now after all. I’ll give it to you when you wake up.”

Janet spoke playfully. However, the bitterness in her expression couldn’t be hidden. She tried to raise the corners of her mouth but they headed downward again without her knowing.

“……”

Janet suddenly  got up from her seat and raised both hands. Then she lightly hit her own cheeks and shook her head.

Rihanel was probably struggling hard to wake up right now. She shouldn’t be making a sad face while watching.

“I’ll wait. I’m here so find your way back well. Don’t get lost.”

He had said not to wait, but she couldn’t listen to just those words. He was just wandering in his unconscious for a while, and would surely find the door soon.

Janet hoped to become a signpost for him and stayed by his side unfailingly today as well.

***