‘Tomorrow… No, even if I come back next time, will I be able to say what I want?’

Aisha had been smiling absently at the thought of Ian, but as she recalled the real reason for her visit, her smile faded. She’d promised her family she’d come here bravely, but in truth, she’d spent the whole carriage ride with her heart pounding in her chest.

‘We were in the middle of discussing an engagement when he left for his trip…’

Aisha had two reasons for visiting the Marquis of Lloyd’s house. The first was to apologize for what happened at the charity party a few days ago; the second, to finally talk about their engagement, which never seemed to move forward. Before Ian had suddenly left on his journey, talk of their engagement had come up from time to time, but the moment he left, it was as if a thread had been cut—no one mentioned it again.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time. Both families, even if only verbally, had spoken of their engagement since Aisha was just a baby. But after the Marquis and Marchioness of Lloyd died in an accident, Ian, one of the parties involved, would always disappear into seclusion or leave on a trip whenever the topic came up.

Count Graham Parden had always shown patience, gently bringing up the subject with Ian again each time. But this time was different. When Ian left for his trip six months ago without a word, Graham quietly told Aisha that unless she asked for it herself, the Pardens wouldn’t mention the engagement anymore.

The thought left Aisha feeling as if the ground had dropped away beneath her, but she understood her father’s position and the family’s reputation, so she nodded in agreement. To be honest, after three years of this, it would have been strange if her father hadn’t lost his temper.

‘Father has his reasons… If I want to be engaged to Ian, then I have to take the lead myself.’

Aisha was well aware that, at this point, what she was doing bordered on desperation. But in front of Ian, she could let go of her pride and resignation. After all, it wasn’t as if he’d rejected her outright—in fact, he’d even made a few positive comments here and there.

As long as Ian didn’t flatly refuse her, Aisha was willing to bring up the engagement as many times as necessary.

Knock, knock, knock.

Just as she steeled herself once more, there was a knock at the door, and a familiar face appeared. The butler, with neatly combed gray hair, approached Aisha with an apologetic expression.

“Young Lady, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“Oh, it’s fine. James, it’s really been a long time.”

“I should have greeted you sooner, but this old man moves too slowly. My apologies.”

James had served as the head butler of the Marquis of Lloyd’s household for over twenty years, even back when Ian’s grandfather was still the marquis. He’d watched Aisha grow up and always had a fondness for her. Seeing his warm smile, Aisha beamed back.

“Really, it’s all right. Actually, I think I’ll head home for today. It’s almost lunch time, and Ian seems busy… But I’d like to set up a time to meet. Is there a day when Ian might be free?”

At Aisha’s question, James’s expression clouded over. Ever since she had arrived, James had kept sending messages to Ian. But his young master only replied with instructions to leave her be—no orders to send her away or tell her how long to wait, just that she should be left alone while he went about his business. He even occasionally asked for more tea and sat smoking cigars, so it wasn’t as though he didn’t have time. What was he playing at? James let out a sigh before he realized it.

“I’m sorry, my lady. As you know, the master has only just returned from his travels… If you return home, I’ll be sure to arrange a time and send you a letter.”

Aisha managed to conceal her disappointment as she tucked a strand of light brown hair behind her ear and nodded.

“Yes. Then I’ll leave it to you.”

“It seems a shame to send you off like this… Would you at least like a little something to eat before you go?”

“How could I, when I don’t even have the host’s permission? Really, it’s all right. I came by carriage—it won’t take long to get home.”

“But still—”

“I’ll be going, then. Until next time, James.”

As Aisha walked away, she pressed a hand to her fluttering chest. She could feel James bustling behind her, but she kept her eyes fixed ahead—afraid that if she met his gaze, she might cry.

“Um, sir—”

Just as she was about to leave the drawing room, a servant came dashing down the stairs. At the sight of such flustered behavior, James shot the young man a stern look and spoke in a strict tone.

“What is it?”

“Well… The master says to escort the young lady to the small drawing room on the second floor.”

At the servant’s words, James turned to look at Aisha. She had already spun around, her face alight with relief. Seeing her brightened expression, James felt a strange pang of discomfort.

“Come with me, please. I’ll show you the way.”

Guiding Aisha to the stairs, James glanced up at the second floor. There, leaning against the banister, was his young master, watching James and Aisha with a blank expression.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The small drawing room James led Aisha to was designed so the master and guest could converse in private. Once the door closed and she was left alone with Ian in that intimate, enclosed space, Aisha found herself fidgeting with her fingers, just a little nervous.

“You must be hungry. Waiting this long couldn’t have been easy.”

Ian spoke without looking at her, lifting his teacup. Aisha, startled back to herself by his voice, moved her hands quickly. Whether by James’s thoughtfulness or not, there were not only cups of tea but also a few light snacks set out on the table.

“Oh… Thank you, Ian.”

As Aisha reached for her teacup, her hand drifted towards one of the biscuits. She felt slightly embarrassed about seeming greedy, but she had eaten less than usual for breakfast and was genuinely hungry. Besides, the buttery white biscuits were one of her favourite treats.

Ian’s eyes narrowed as he watched her over his teacup. He put his cup down quietly, but with enough force to make his displeasure clear. Noticing this, Aisha quietly put her biscuit back down. As she watched him warily, Ian gave a mocking smile and finally spoke.

“Why’d you wait 2 hours? Most people would have left.”

“I planned to wait from the start. I had no other plans today, so I had plenty of time…”

“Is that so?”

His voice was as flat as ever, but Aisha was certain that he was in a bad mood. Ever since they were children, Ian had bitten his lower lip when irritated. When her gaze landed on his mouth, he furrowed his brow, sank deeper into the sofa and crossed one leg over the other in a lazy, almost sensual pose that made Aisha drop her eyes in embarrassment.

“Ian… are you upset because I waited?”

The silence stretched on, and Aisha nervously asked, her gaze fixed on the tip of his polished shoe. Her cheeks were already flushed. Seeing how clearly her feelings showed on her face, Ian twisted his lips into a smirk and tossed out his reply.

“Why even ask? Isn’t it obvious?”

“…What?”

Aisha’s face drained of color at his words. Ian watched the rapid changes in her expression, arms crossed, tapping his shoe in clear irritation.

“You might have all the time in the world, but I don’t, you know? It makes me uncomfortable when you hang around waiting for me.”

“Oh… If you’d told me to leave, I would have.”

“Wouldn’t it be rude to send someone away after they came all this way by carriage? I figured if I said nothing, you’d take the hint and go home.”

“…”

“You really are just as oblivious as you were at the charity party. Maybe you’re just too sheltered?”

At his casual tone, Aisha’s rounded shoulders trembled. Ian kept his eyes on her, waiting until she finally looked up and met his gaze.

“…I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through.”

Unable to bear the tension any longer, Aisha looked at Ian for only a moment before looking down and apologising. Ian was left with a strange feeling after her apology. Was he still annoyed? Yes, but seeing her bow her head so meekly made it an oddly pleasant feeling. He uncrossed his legs and sat up straight.

“Enough. There’s no point talking about what’s already done. You came here because you had something to say, right? Speak up. I only set aside a little time before lunch.”

His voice, as if granting her an audience, was full of arrogance. Aisha, following the tilt of his chin, squeezed her hands together, as if summoning her courage. Ian let out a faint scoff, then picked up the same biscuit Aisha had chosen earlier and took a bite.

“First, about the party a few days ago… I wanted to apologize. You tried to spare my feelings and told me not to come, but I didn’t take the hint… Sophia told me you ended up in a difficult position because of me.”

“Difficult? Why would I be in a difficult position because of you?”

Crunching the biscuit between his teeth, he tilted his head slightly, golden hair falling smoothly over his brow. His puzzled tone made Aisha stumble as she tried to explain.

“It’s just… You brought someone else as your partner, and with me showing up, I imagine it made things awkward for you….”

“So Sophia’s been saying pointless things again.”

Only then did Ian seem to understand what she was trying to say. Swallowing the last of his biscuit, he looked her over, his expression tightening ever so slightly. In those winter-cold eyes was a clear hint of annoyance.

“Stop worrying about pointless things. There’s nothing between us, and nothing about you put me in any kind of awkward situation.”

The moment Ian finished speaking, Aisha felt her heart drop. ‘So he wasn’t troubled… That’s a relief, right? It should be…’ Yet for some reason, the news didn’t make her feel any better. She pressed a trembling hand to her throat and nodded slowly.

“…I see. I’m glad to hear that.”

For just an instant, Ian’s blue eyes flickered as he caught the faint flush around her eyes. Folding his arms, he regarded her lazily.

“Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No, there’s something else.”

Aisha shook her head. At his small gesture for her to go on, she sat frozen for a moment, then managed—after much deliberation—to force the words out.

“Ian… About our engagement…”

“…”

“Before you left, we were actually talking about it in detail. I wasn’t there for all of it, but according to Father…”

“Hah…”

The words she’d struggled so hard to say were abruptly cut off by Ian’s short, irritated sigh. Startled, Aisha looked up at him, only to find a mocking smile twisting his lips.

“Do noble ladies these days arrange their own engagements? Have you no sense of shame?”