She kept replaying what she had heard, but she could not quite make sense of it. The man reached out toward her.

“Ann.”

His hand gently cupped her small chin. Ann looked up at the man closing the distance between them.

“None of those things can take away what I feel for you. Neither can their words. From the very beginning, I said I wanted to be your shield. Do you not remember?”

It was a gentle voice. So gentle it made no sense at all… Everything the man said and did felt like a lie. No, she thought she would almost prefer it to be a lie. Ann was not good enough a woman to deserve this kind of comfort.

“Why aren’t you angry with me? Is it simply because you like me?”

“I’m not sure why liking someone would be a simple reason. But yes. Because I love you, nothing they say about you bothers me. It only makes me angry. And…”

Hughies lowered his head. Ann saw the troubled look on his face. He too seemed to be on the verge of confessing something.

“I knew that His Majesty loved you. And given his nature, I knew he would have wanted not just your heart, but your body as well.”

Hughies whispered calmly, without a moment’s hesitation. He had never once felt bitter about not being her first.

From the very beginning, he had been introduced to the king’s woman as a prospective bride. The purpose had also been very clear. To protect Ann from dishonor. The king’s love for her was itself a source of dishonor for her. So the marriage to him would have been one means for the king to protect his woman.

That meant Ann could never have been entirely his from the start. The king needed a temporary shelter to protect his woman, and he had simply accepted that proposal while hiding his own desire to keep Ann under his shelter forever. So none of the things Ann was raising as problems were actually problems. Even if Ann’s child were still alive…

“His Majesty once spoke of compensation.”

“Compensation?”

“…Yes.”

Hughies recalled what Lennox had said. Then he slowly parted his lips. The king’s offer to help him reclaim and rebuild his family’s business, which had fallen into disarray after his father’s death.

He had accepted because, in the end, there was nothing to lose. He had eventually fallen in love, but his own beginning had been far from pure either. He confessed everything to Ann.

He had no face to show her, but he too had to be honest in this moment. Having said everything, he kept his silence and looked at her. The pale woman slowly parted her lips.

“…So that is what happened.”

The quiet whisper reached his ears. Unease knocked at him. He carefully studied the woman’s expression. But he could read nothing from that pale face. What she felt, or what she was thinking as she stood before him.

“Ann.”

“Even so, please do not apologize to me. That was not a deception.”

Ann answered in a flat tone. Hughies reached out and took hold of her small shoulders. Fortunately, she did not pull away from his hands. Ann stayed still under his touch, like a docile bird. After a long silence, she parted her lips.

“But, Count. I can no longer go through with this marriage.”

“Ann.”

“It is not right to use someone as a shield.”

“I don’t mind.”

“No. I mind. I do not want you to be covered in filth because of me. Even if His Majesty were to offer you great compensation in return, that is not a path I want.”

Ann slowly shook her head. She removed his hands and looked at him squarely. The man, who had not understood a word she said, stared down at her with a furrowed brow. Even that expression made her chest ache to the point of tears.

Hughies was the first man who had treated her with sincerity from beginning to end. Even if Lennox was her first love, he had never treated her the way Hughies did.

So Ann believed what he said. That he had not started with a pure heart but had come to love her, that too was not a lie. She could feel it. That the man truly loved her. Ann liked him too.

She did not know whether that feeling carried the same color as the love she had for Lennox. 

But Ann’s heart had fluttered at his proposal, and she had been sincere enough in that moment to allow his kiss. To call that feeling mere excitement would be an unforgivable deception.

Even if it did not carry the same depth as her feelings for Lennox. Does love always take the same form?

“Ann.”

“I like you, Count.”

The tears that had gathered spilled down her cheeks. Heat kept rushing to the corners of her eyes. Ann sniffled, fighting to hold back her tears. Perhaps it would have been easier if she had not liked him at all. If she had felt nothing for him. But Ann liked him. She had come this far because she liked him. And yet…

“I do not want to be that kind of person to someone I like.”

After much deliberation, Ann confessed what was in her heart. There were countless reasons she could no longer go through with this marriage, but among them, this was the clearest.

“Whatever compensation you receive, whatever future His Majesty has promised you… I do not want to be a heavy burden to someone I care for. Even setting that aside, I would not want to use you as a shield. The criticism directed at me should be mine alone to bear.”

With those words, Ann no longer stayed before him. She slowly turned around and walked away. Her vision blurred and swelled. Fortunately, Hughies did not try to stop her any further.

Ann returned to her bedroom and looked out the window. The man still stood in the same spot. 

Her chest ached and felt torn, like it might kill her. Unable to bear looking any longer, she buried her face in the bed and wept.

***

Time passed. No letter came from the Altuart family.

Ann told the Countess about what had happened with him before she could ask. Contrary to Ann’s expectation that she would be angry, the Countess said nothing at all. 

Perhaps she was holding her anger back. No, that was probably it. She must have decided not to provoke Ann, given how unstable her state was.

Her guilt reached its peak. Ann once again shut herself in her bedroom for a time. She stopped showing her face at the evening dinners with the Hervonne family and gave up her walks in the garden as well.

She was sinking deeper into that gloom when, one day, Monica brought her a small letter. Ann rose listlessly and took it from her.

“I’m sorry. I tried to ask who sent it, but they simply would not say…”

Ann glanced at Monica, then turned the ivory envelope over in her hands. It truly gave no indication of who had sent it. 

But the paper itself was of quite fine quality, which told her it had come from a noble. Ann took out the letter. It opened with ‘To Ann.’ She had not yet read the lines below, but she immediately knew who had sent it.

“Miss, who is it from?”

Monica asked as Ann read the letter. Ann looked up at her and gave a vague answer.

“It’s, it’s from Margaret.”

“From Miss Ilyno?”

The name of the woman who had turned her back on Ann at Duchess Valenska’s ball, alongside Miss Fairvale, came out of Ann’s mouth, and Monica’s face darkened. Ann felt she had given the wrong name, but there was no way to take it back.

“More importantly, could you step out for a moment? I’ll call you if I need anything later.”

“Yes…”

Monica’s face turned sulky, seemingly unhappy about being sent away. Ann paid it no mind and turned her eyes back to the letter.

Charlotte asked after her in brief. It felt less like genuine concern and more like observing the formality of a letter. Her purpose was to meet in person at a cafe on Eldas Street two days from now.

There was nothing else beyond that, so it was very simple and direct. Ann set the letter down and stared blankly into the air. Her heart had lurched and dropped when she realized Charlotte had sent it, but she thought it was perhaps for the best.

Either way, they had to meet at least once. There were things to discuss about everything surrounding the two of them. Ann memorized the location Charlotte had mentioned, then took a match from the drawer, struck a flame, and burned the letter.

Two days later, at two in the afternoon. Ann stepped out of the Hervonne manor alone, wearing a neat bonnet. Charlotte, who had asked that she tell no one about the letter, had also added in a postscript that Ann come without her maids. She would do the same.

It was a difficult request to honor, but since it came from Charlotte of all people, Ann had spent the two days before working to come up with a pretext for leaving the manor alone. The excuse she settled on after much thought was a visit to a chapel not far from the Hervonne manor.