6.5

When she opened her eyes again, it was already night. The room was pitch black, with no light except for the faint glow of moonlight seeping in through the window, dimly illuminating parts of the room.

Larisa quickly realized she wasn’t n*ked. At some point, someone had dressed her in soft sleepwear and tucked her neatly under the covers.

She rubbed her eyes with one hand. Her arms and wrists, which had been bound, still felt sore. Slowly, she continued to rub her eyes, then covered her face with both hands.

In a small voice, she spoke.

“You’re here, aren’t you?”

“…Yes, I’m here.”

Pavel’s voice sounded hoarse and weary. Larisa asked him another question.

“What time is it?”

“It’s nearly dawn.”

She nodded and tried to sit up. As she began to rise, Pavel, who had been sitting by her bedside, jumped up in alarm and moved to support her. Stiff with surprise, Larisa turned to look at him, and he, startled again, quickly withdrew his hand from her back.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

His apology, tinged with embarrassment and awkwardness, drained the strength from Larisa’s shoulders.

Leaning weakly against the pillow, she asked him in a quiet voice.

“Why did you do it…?”

“I have no excuse, no matter how many times I apologize.”

“Did you really think I’d been flirting with other men?”

“That’s not it. I… I…”

Larisa waited patiently for Pavel to continue. He ran his hands over his face several times before finally speaking, his voice heavy with difficulty.

“You never once smiled at me, but when I saw you smile at those men, like you used to… No, it doesn’t matter. I’m the bad one here. I wasn’t in my right mind. I’m sorry.”

“…You’ve never smiled at me either, Pavel.”

Their eyes met.

Both of them were crying. With trembling lips, Larisa reproached him.

“Why did you ask me to marry you? Did you want revenge? Because I… because I left you? Did you hate me for it?”

“Hate you? I’ve never hated you.”

“Then why? Why do you keep telling me to just do as you say, why do you keep humiliating me, and even today…!”

“I thought that since you didn’t like me, it would be easier for you to accept a marriage with conditions rather than me confessing my love and asking you to marry me.”

Larisa blinked repeatedly, trying to process his words.

So, what he was saying was… he still loved her, but he thought she would hate it if he expressed that, so he acted the way he did?

Pavel continued, his voice filled with anguish.

“But keeping you by my side was unbearable for me. Every time I see you, I feel like I’m losing my mind. But holding you, knowing you don’t want me, feels like I’m committing a crime.”

“And that’s why you kept doing those things…?”

While consumed by his desires as if he had lost his mind, had he stopped midway? Larisa sobbed and gasped for breath. 

What kind of foolish nonsense was this…?

In the end, everything stemmed from her own mistakes. Larisa blamed herself. Everything had gone astray and tangled ever since she had pushed Pavel away, unable to be honest with herself.

Pavel had been afraid to tell her he loved her, and Larisa had felt the same. Believing that the other disliked them, their actions only ended up causing mutual pain.

When she remained silent, Pavel lowered his head even further.

“This is all my fault. Larisa, if you wish, we can end this marriage. It was wrong of me to force you into it from the start.”

“What are you saying?!”

Larisa raised her voice. At her outburst, Pavel quickly lifted his head. His deep, dark eyes, brimming with tears, looked at her. Larisa clenched her lips tightly, shook her head, and finally burst into tears.

“I-I like you! Ugh… Why would I have a forced marriage like this if I didn’t like you?!”

“……”

Pavel didn’t respond to her confession. He just sat there, staring at her with tears streaming down his face, maintaining the same posture. Growing anxious, Larisa urged him.

“Did you hear what I said? I said I like you, Pavel.”

“So… I didn’t mishear you.”

“Pavel!”

He muttered as if in a daze.

“When I untied the ropes binding you earlier today, you said something like that… I thought I must have misheard. I thought it was just my own wishful thinking making me hear things.”

“I’m telling you, that’s not it…”

“I see.”

After what felt like an eternity, light returned to Pavel’s eyes. His gaze slowly returned to Larisa’s face. He carefully asked her again.

“Are you serious?”

“And you, Pavel? Do you really still like me?”

“Yes, I have never once stopped liking you.”

His calm yet firm declaration brought a fresh wave of tears to Larisa’s eyes. She sobbed, her chin quivering, then stretched out her arms toward him. Whispering softly, she said to Pavel.

“Then… hold me.”

Pavel moved as if he were a rusty machine, creaking as he stood up. Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, he hesitated for a moment before gently wrapping his arms around Larisa, as if she were made of delicate cotton candy.

At last, their warmth fully embraced one another.

“Sniff… Sob…”

Larisa felt as though she’d cried enough today to last a lifetime. 

Was something wrong with my tear ducts? 

The tears just wouldn’t stop. Burying her face in Pavel’s shoulder, she sobbed and spoke.

“I was so scared… scared that you hated me so much that you wanted to make me miserable for the rest of my life. I like you, but if you hated me, I didn’t know what to do…”

“I was also afraid… afraid that I couldn’t make you happy. I should’ve been honest from the beginning. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who should apologize. I shouldn’t have run away from you.”

Pavel’s expression turned serious as he spoke to Larisa.

“I’m so sorry for scaring you. Whatever punishment you want to give me, I’ll accept it. I truly am sorry.”

“…Anything?”

“Yes.”

Larisa lifted her head and looked at Pavel. Sniffling, she put on a very serious expression and opened her mouth.

“Then I’ll give you a punishment.”

“Please do. Whatever you want.”

“My punishment is…”

Larisa paused for a moment before speaking. Pavel waited patiently for her to continue. Finally, her sentence felt like a verdict.

“Stay by my side forever.”

“…That’s not a punishment; that’s a reward.”

“I don’t care. That’s the punishment I came up with.”

At her words, the two finally smiled at each other. Even with their faces ruined by tears, they found each other utterly lovable. Their lips met. As they fully absorbed each other’s breaths, their kiss deepened further and further.

Larisa instinctively wrapped her arms around Pavel’s neck. Pavel, in turn, embraced Larisa tightly. Their chests pressed together, and they could feel the rhythm of each other’s heartbeats.

The kiss carried the salty taste of tears. For some reason, it awakened a thirst in Larisa, and she clung to Pavel even more desperately. She accepted his saliva, tapping at his tongue with her own, hoping he would desire her even more.

Pavel, too, longed for Larisa, and their kiss grew increasingly intense. Wet lips rubbed against each other, separating with faint, tantalizing sounds that tickled their ears.

After indulging in her lips for a while, Pavel carefully lowered Larisa onto the bed. Hovering above her to avoid pressing down on her, he spoke gently.

“You must be very tired. Let’s rest for today.”

What nonsense was this? 

Larisa reached out and grabbed Pavel’s collar.

“No.”

“Larisa, but…”

“Hold me.”

At her words, Pavel’s Adam’s apple bobbed visibly.

Her grip on his collar tightened. As she pulled him toward her, Pavel finally gave in. Larisa hugged him tightly and kissed him again. Tilting her head slightly, she deepened the kiss, pushing her tongue further in, and he willingly accepted her.

Their tongues intertwined like twin serpents. Their breaths grew heavier, and the air between them heated up. The excitement between them was undeniable.

Breaking the kiss for a moment, Larisa looked directly into Pavel’s eyes and said, 

“You can’t run away halfway this time.”

“I will never do that.”

Their lips met again. Larisa closed her eyes, feeling the heat of Pavel’s body.

***

“Ah, ah! It’s too, deep…!”

“Larisa, Larisa… Huff…”

Larisa cried out beneath Pavel, her body almost folded in half as he thrust into her. Her body, trembling wildly, had already reached its peak several times, leaving her sensitivity heightened to an extreme.

Her hands alternated between wrapping around Pavel’s neck and clawing at his back. On her finger was the ring Pavel had once given her, which she had initially rejected. Even in the faint light, the small, intricate diamonds sparkled beautifully.