Chapter 12.13

With those incomplete wings, he jumped from the second-floor window. Leaving only a single sentence like a last will. Not a temporary parting, but a final farewell. From his voice, a thought struck her that she hadn’t realized.

‘It’s strange. I begged the demon to extend my life, but I ended up going back in time. There’s only one wish you can ask a demon for, so I still don’t know why. Sometimes I wonder if someone else made a deal with the demon like I did. And oddly, I have a feeling someday you’ll figure out the reason.’

Why. Why was she thinking of this now? And why was that cathedral here? A chain of misfortunes unfolding with no margin for error, as if someone had staged a play for years. Impossible things that could only happen if someone was waiting for their tragedy.

She had died twice in this life. The cause was the same. She must have insisted on having a child despite Idris’s objections. That was her burden to bear. But Idris saved her. He made a contract with the demon to turn back time. Twice.

What did he offer in exchange? His soul? But could he give up his soul twice? What he lost was his memory and love. Only after taking Manghyangcho, only after being broken, did he remember, and he hid all of it.

Was he afraid she would hate and fear him if she remembered? Was he scared?

‘We’re a cursed fate. I’ll never fully understand you, and you’ll never understand me, so let’s really part here.’

She didn’t know. D*mn it! Why was the mountain so high? Cursing like a prayer, she finally arrived at the cathedral. After picking a handful of holly berries from the tangled white garden, she hurried inside. Please don’t let me be too late. Please let them be safe.

‘God, if You care for him, please.’

Crunch. Crack. But her legs froze at the chilling sound from inside.

The demon, wearing Emile de River’s face, had its claws wrapped around something white, tearing it apart. Kick. Kick. Kick. The laughter from its jaws, studded with hundreds of spikes, made her eardrums feel like they would burst. It was stepping on Idris’s back, tearing at his wings, enjoying itself. Seeing Idris’s face twisted in pain and cold sweat, her heart burned fiercely, and she rushed forward.

Seeing Idris’s face twisted in pain and cold sweat, her heart burned fiercely.

“Stop it!”

“Oh, more spectators. Welcome. Hillienti. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Hilli! D—!”

But something wrapped around her feet. A sinister, evil force. Black haze, impossible to describe in words, rose from the depths and coiled around her up to her waist. She couldn’t feel it, but her body was frozen like a statue and couldn’t move.

“Idris! You damned demon! Stop it!”

The demon’s mouth opened wide, like the flesh of a salmon impaled on a spear.

“What did I do wrong? My dear, I’m just here to collect my due.”

“Don’t give me that nonsense.”

“Strange. By now, all your memories should have returned, so why are you still siding with this man? Hillienti. Your husband sold you to me.”

“What he sold wasn’t me, but his soul. Say it right.”

“Ah, that’s true. But he sold everything he had, and allowed me to love you as he did.”

“So what? Your deal was flawed from the start. That’s something you need my permission for.”

The demon’s chattering voice suddenly stopped.

“Is that so? Was that how it was?”

“That’s right. Unless you made a new deal with me from the beginning.”

The demon was clearly unable to refuse a deal involving a soul. The taste of blood spread in her mouth from biting too hard.

“Is there something you desire?”

“I desire his life.”

“Still? You really are a strange woman. I do like that stubbornness, but this is a bit of a problem. I have to grant Emile de River’s wish, who wanted this man’s downfall, and settle the remaining price.”

“Then just k*ll him, and turn back time again.”

She kept her voice low, so the sweat pouring down her face wouldn’t be mistaken for tears. She was glad Idris, face pressed into the floor, couldn’t see her. He had stopped making any sound; he lay there as if truly dead, and anxiety made her breath shallow.

The smoke coiling around her ankles faded, and her weight shifted forward. She wavered for a moment, then steadied herself, pressing her pounding chest with her hand.

“Do you really mean that?”

“Doesn’t the demon know that blessings come to those who truly believe?”

The demon’s narrow pupils widened, then he burst into loud laughter.

“I really do like you! If I’d met you from the start, I wouldn’t have died such a pointless death or been so sad about betrayal.”

The demon, getting worked up alone, seemed ready to accept her deal, but asked as if to test her.

“But I’m curious. You’re giving me your soul because you still love this man?”

“Because he’s the father of my child.”

“Hmm?”

The demon took a step toward her. She stood still, meeting his gaze directly. There was no rule saying she shouldn’t look into a demon’s eyes. And who could possibly feel love for those red eyes?

“Then if I become the father of your child, will you love me?”

“Of course.”

Perhaps it sounded like a vow of love, for the demon grinned, baring his teeth. The idea that a demon coveted love was less mysterious than it was revolting, but she smiled anyway. With that, the restraint on her body loosened, and she felt lighter. She slipped her hand into her dress pocket.

“In that case, I’ll change some of the contract’s conditions.”

‘Just a little closer. Come a little closer.’

She accepted the hand caressing her face and gripped the rifle stock inside her pocket. She didn’t know if it was loaded with a magic bullet or not. But she had to try something to know how it would end, and if she might die anyway, what couldn’t she do?

“The one who will pay the price is you. Speak your name and your desire.”

The demon’s hand touched her lips.

“My name is Hillienti de……”

At the very moment she gripped the gun and pulled it out—

“Hilli!”

A roaring sound split the air. She blinked. It happened in an instant. Idris, who had been violated by the demon due to the contract’s restraints, lunged at the demon. He threw himself in the way to block the demon from reaching her.

“…Why?”

The demon’s hand was piercing Idris’s heart. The thick, blunt fingertips, like the arm of a black crocodile, were sharp at the ends. Drops of blood fell between her feet. Her lips trembled helplessly. His face, which had been smiling as if nothing was wrong, twisted in pain.

The grotesquely twisted, bulging demon’s hand pulled out of his body. Blood splattered onto the floor, and the stench of it filled the air. Then came the thud of his body crashing to the ground.

“Ha… What a mistake.”

The demon’s heated breath rang in her ears like a dissonant chord. She crawled toward Idris, who lay collapsed on the floor. With trembling hands, she pulled him into her arms, at least his upper body.

‘This isn’t right. Why…?’

He looked at her dazedly, as if he couldn’t understand either, then smiled.

“I’m sorry.”

Cough. With every word, with every breath, blood welled up and spilled out.

“Don’t. Please, don’t talk. I know. I know everything now, so please!”

Unable to control herself, she reached for his chest, then, thinking it would hurt, moved to his face, then frantically pressed her shawl over the gaping, horrible wound. She had to stop the bleeding. Mireille had said, always stop the bleeding first.

“Ugh…”

She pressed both hands firmly to Idris’s chest as he groaned in pain.

“I’ll bring Mireille. Just hold on a little longer. Wait for me. I’ll go and…”

“Hilli… I’m sorry I’m always late.”

“…What are you late for?”

She grabbed his flailing hand as if he was asking her to hold on, and gripped it tightly. It was colder than ice. As if he was dying…

“Don’t forgive me.”

“…No. I will.”

Her tears blurred her vision. Even so, she could see him smiling faintly at her stubborn words.

“No, fine, I won’t forgive you, so don’t die. Don’t die. I said don’t die. Until I forgive you, you can’t die. So…”

“Hilli.”

That voice, sweet as sugar on the tongue. He called her by her favorite nickname. She pressed down on his chest, as if she could keep his heart beating. 

‘No. Don’t say it. Please.’

“I’m sorry. You were the regret I loved most.”

“……”

What did that mean? How could someone love a regret? She wept, demanding he explain, but as she looked into his fading sunflower eyes, a fierce memory pierced her mind.

A dream she had after falling asleep watching the magnolia-like snowflakes at the window.