Chapter 10

At her answer, he gave a short laugh and took her hand.

He could have held it tighter. Thinking that, she placed her hand on his shoulder for the first time in a truly long while.

Feeling the hand around her waist, this moment of drawing close to him, pressed near against him, felt like a dream.

He had not liked banquets, and in the past she had not enjoyed them either. But such memories were made pale by the gratitude she felt now for the music flowing through the hall.

Kardin was before her now, and being held in the embrace she had missed so much was such a moving thing.

It felt so wonderful that even if she were to meet death this very moment for this man, she could still tell her unmerciful God that she was grateful. It simply felt good. Truly.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

She tilted her head slightly.

How did she look now, reflected in Kardin’s eyes?

Would she seem like a woman smiling foolishly? Ah, no. She could not be. She would not have been the only woman looking at him.

“Ahem, do you always look at others that way as well?”

At her silence, he asked again.

Like the slow music drifting around them, she slowly shook her head and spoke.

“I do not know how the eyes with which you are looking at me appear right now, Grand Duke……”

“……”

“But I am certain these are not the eyes I use when I look at others.”

When he narrowed his brows out of habit, the corners of her lips curled upward.

“Grand Duke.”

“Please speak.”

“How do I appear in your eyes, Grand Duke?”

Kardin slowly closed and opened his eyes, then spoke.

“I do not know with what intention you are asking me such a thing.”

“I am curious how I appear differently now from when you saw me in the garden a little while ago.”

“……The same, as far as I can tell.”

At his answer, she gave a limp smile.

When she had gone back to her room and looked at herself in the mirror after seeing him in the garden, she had felt so regretful.

“……I see.”

Along with her disappointment, the music was coming to an end.

And so too, their meeting came to an end.

Letting go of the hand they had been holding, she gave Kardin her final greeting.

“Grand Duke of Ferdian, thank you for becoming my first dance partner. And…… I was truly very happy to meet you. May God’s grace fully reach you.”

This time, she was the one who turned away first. Biting her lip, she slowly left the banquet hall.

She passed through the quiet corridor and headed not to her room, but to the garden.

Even as she bit her lip, tears kept falling again, and the sheer absurdity of it drew a small laugh from her.

Still, she was grateful that she had been able to see him, even like this. She offered thanks to her God.

When she stepped outside, she closed her eyes tightly at the sudden gust of wind.

Why did this day feel so short? Short enough to leave her regretful. It was a day that made her wish tomorrow would not come.

Opening her eyes, she walked through the neatly arranged garden and sat down in a gently swaying chair.

Being here made it feel like just moments ago, that unforgettable instant in this life when she and he had first exchanged greetings.

It kept returning to her mind.

‘……It is our first meeting. I am Saintess, Shallen Melissa.’

‘I am Lord Kardin Ferdian.’

He must have thought she was a strange woman. A woman crying at the sight of him.

A soft laugh.

“What could I do? I wanted to see you.”

The moment she spoke, tears streamed down her cheeks.

Leaning back into the swaying chair, she looked up at the sky.

How beautiful the stars and moon glittering in the darkened night sky were. More especially than on any other night.

It made her want to see him even more. Without even the slightest tact or restraint.

When the wind blew, the face over which tears had passed stung faintly.

Thinking that today was the last time she would see him, not only her face but even her heart ached and throbbed.

Looking at that sky that resembled him, she reflected on herself. Upon meeting him, she had unconsciously grown far too greedy.

When she thought of what she desired most.

Her greatest wish was for his peace, so let her greed end here. From now on, let her not do this.

He was someone who had gone through death again and again simply because he had been the husband of her, a Saintess who had already lost all her holy power.

So let her no longer miss him, no longer long to see him, and no longer love him.

* * *

Standing in the center of the hall, Kardin quietly stared at the doors of the banquet hall.

She was an incomprehensible woman.

A woman he had only met for the first time today, who had looked at him with an expression difficult to read, then asked him to dance first, only to greet him and leave the banquet hall the moment the music ended.

Shallen Melissa, the Saintess newly proclaimed by the Temple of Melissa.

Kardin brushed at his raised brow and turned his steps toward the door through which she had left.

In any case, merely showing his face at this banquet had fulfilled his promise to the King. There was no need for him to remain here any longer.

By the time the music began to fade, the sound of Kardin’s shoes grew gradually louder in the quiet corridor.

On the way back toward his room, Kardin idly dropped his gaze toward the garden where he had first come face to face with her.

It was that woman.

She had not seemed like someone shy with strangers. So why had she fled the banquet hall as though escaping and come there? Just as he found himself wondering that, the moon, which had been hidden behind clouds, slowly emerged, and the woman’s face became clearly visible.

She was crying. Why in the world?

Without realizing it, Kardin halted his steps and quietly looked down at her. Without making a single sound.

Was it consideration for the woman crying so sorrowfully? Or merely a habit ingrained into his body?

Well. He could not know that. There was no such emotion as pity in his eyes.

Perhaps that was only natural.

She was a woman he had seen for the first time, and the only thing he knew about her was that she was the Saintess of the Temple of Melissa.

He had neither the time nor the need to know her personal circumstances.

Whether before he became Grand Duke or after taking his current position, many people had approached him while laying their intentions bare.

Trying to fall in front of him, or actively speaking to him while acting in ways that strongly implied they wanted to dance with him.

There had been countless such women. And he knew what would happen after dancing even once.

Rumors would spread. Were they to become engaged? Who would become the Grand Duchess for the still-vacant position?

He knew they would think and chatter among themselves as they pleased, which was why he had even disliked showing his face at banquets.

So today, he had behaved unlike himself. Was it because of the sense of ease that the title of Saintess gave him?

Then why was he now standing still? He questioned himself.

Just as he was about to withdraw his gaze and start walking again, a deep furrow carved itself between Kardin’s brows.

Without even realizing someone was watching her, Saintess Shallen tightened her hand around the handkerchief.

She left the tears running down her cheeks alone.

A woman acting so pitifully, and yet somehow the word did not suit her. That was what Kardin thought.

When he sensed someone approaching from the other side of the corridor, Kardin withdrew his gaze from the woman in the garden and turned away.

Not long after, Shallen, her eyes on the neatly folded handkerchief, was trying to steady her heart and rise from her seat when his scent drifted toward her.

“Kardin……”

Without realizing it, she let his name slip and only afterward raised her head.

Kardin lifted one brow and looked down at her, her eyes now wide and round.

He met Shallen’s gaze as she looked at him with reddened eyes.

“Ah……. Grand Duke of Ferdian.”

Shallen seemed greatly flustered that she had unconsciously called him by his name.

If he were to ask about it, what should she say?

As she searched for an excuse, he said something entirely different from what she had expected.

“Were you crying again?”

Shallen hesitated for a moment, then forced up the corners of her lips and shook her head.

Kardin’s brow twitched as he looked at her speaking falsehood. Still, he did not press the matter.

“Why are you here, Grand Duke……. Has the banquet already ended?”

Of course, she asked while knowing there was no way that could be true. She simply wanted to appear unaffected.

“The banquet is in full swing. I came out for some night air. Why are you here, Saintess?”

“Me too. And because the night sky is beautiful.”

A brief silence followed.