Chapter 6

She officially became the Saintess of the Temple of Melissa, and she poured out the words she had long wanted to say to this place throughout all the years she had lived.

Even if she were to receive God’s punishment, even if she were to face the same situation as before once again. She herself knew well that her actions would not change.

People would believe the words she had spoken. Since she had directly said that she was conveying the words of God Gloria, they would think there was no way she, a Saintess, would speak falsehood.

This was the first thing she did after returning.

The thing she absolutely had to set right.

If she were to follow her emotions, honestly, she no longer wanted to do anything at all.

But if she did not change it, then this suffering would continue even after her. Having returned to this point in time, she could not pretend not to know.

Now that she had become the Saintess, she would soon walk the pilgrimage route to visit various kingdoms and nations.

If she followed that road, she would go to the Helen Kingdom where Kardin was as well.

She had met him after stepping down from the position of Saintess. And the banquet she attended together with him after they married had been only the banquet commemorating the King’s birthday.

So during the first pilgrimage, there should be no chance of meeting him. She ought to have considered that fortunate.

Yet at the thought that she would not be able to meet Kardin, a sigh escaped her without her realizing it.

This emotion that suddenly surfaced and stirred up her mind, and she herself for feeling such an emotion, seemed rather absurd.

Even in the middle of all this, was she still feeling regret?

There must have been more days when she and he were not husband and wife. Then why could she not forget those moments she spent with him?

After saying all those things so well outside, once she arrived at her room and was alone, her thoughts returned to the beginning once again.

Was work work, and emotion emotion?

“If you look at it that way… I’m more calculating than you are.”

Murmuring to herself, she turned her head at the sound of a knock on the door.

“Saintess! It’s me!”

“Come in.”

The moment she saw Amy open the door and beam, the servants of Ferdian overlapped in her sight for an instant.

“Saintess! You were so amazing earlier! When did you practice like that?!”

She did not interrupt the way Amy chattered beside her like a skylark, because it was not unpleasant.

“I was just a tiny, tiny bit worried earlier because you were crying so much, Saintess! But I guess it was a worry for nothing! There were so many high-ranking people there that even I was terribly nervous just watching! But how could you not tremble at all……”

A soft chuckle escaped her. It had been so long since she had spoken like this with someone from an old bond that the corners of her lips rose for no reason.

“Ah! Saintess! But there’s something I’m curious about.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about what you said earlier! Is God Gloria really not merciful?”

Looking into Amy’s bright, sparkling eyes, she asked in return.

“I’d like to know how the words that god is not one who grants mercy to everyone sounded to you.”

To this child, how had that principle sounded, that those worthy of mercy would receive blessings, while those who were not would receive severe punishment?

Amy narrowed her brows for a moment in thought, then opened her mouth with a little frown.

“It’s hard……. But among those words from god, you said that god is not a fair god.”

“Yes, that was said.”

“I think that might actually be what fairness is.”

At her answer, Shallen curled up the corners of her lips and slightly lifted her chin, as if telling her to continue.

“If God were to grant mercy to everyone, that wouldn’t be right. Then it would mean giving the same mercy to bad people and good people alike, and wouldn’t that be what’s truly unfair? So when you said you would follow Gloria’s words, Saintess, you have no idea how fast my heart pounded!”

“I see. So that is how it sounded to you.”

At her response, Amy started in surprise and hurriedly waved her hands.

“O, oh……. I don’t mean that Gloria or you were wrong, Saintess! It’s just, that’s simply how it sounded to me…….”

“Amy.”

“Yes?”

“There was no answer contained in my question. I was only asking for your thoughts.”

Only then did Amy seem to relax, exhaling as she pressed a hand to her chest.

She found the girl rather adorable. So she placed a hand on her head and breathed a blessing into her.

As if startled by her action, Amy opened her eyes wide and looked up at her.

“S-Saintess.”

“I am glad that the first blessing I can give can be to you.”

“Why… to me……”

She stroked Amy’s head and lifted the corners of her lips.

“Because you are more than worthy of receiving a blessing.”

“Sha, ah, no, Saintess! Thank you. It is an honor.”

She answered only with a faint smile. Because she too was grateful to her.

For letting the beginning of this power be used for something good.

* * *

After becoming the daughter of an unmerciful God, the very first thing she ordered was the relocation of the former Saintess’s residence.

Under the name of the daughter of God, she rescued her from that secluded, hellish place. Just as, in that hell, she had been rescued.

How could she ever forget those gaunt hands struggling to pass her a scrap of bread through the iron bars?

Saving her was absurdly easy.

‘I still have much to learn, so I think I should learn a great deal from the former Saintess. Where might the former Saintess be?’

‘From now on, many people, including His Holiness the Pope, will help you with your duties as Saintess.’

‘Which do you think would be more helpful, the words of someone who experienced it personally, or the words of those who merely watched from the side? Or perhaps… is she staying somewhere I am not allowed to visit.’

With only a few words, that hell disappeared.

Though whether it truly disappeared, or was merely covered over, she still did not know.

After that, she shared meals with her every time. To prevent that hell from continuing, if only by chance.

“Saintess Shallen.”

The former Saintess dabbed at her mouth and smiled at her.

“Ah. Yes, please speak.”

“You already knew, didn’t you?”

At those words, Shallen’s hand paused for a moment, then moved again as she tilted her head.

“What do you mean?”

“That Gloria is not merciful.”

At her words, a short laugh slipped from Shallen.

“I know only that, by how it feels to me, Gloria is not merciful. You too are a daughter of god, Lady Aria, so you must know as well.”

“Of course. Isn’t it rather amusing? This thing called being a saintess. We have the power to grant blessings to others. Yet we ourselves do not receive god’s blessing.”

There were many things contained within the blessings a Saintess bestowed. She could heal the wounded, or cleanse negative feelings.

The blessing of a Saintess was to take wounds and negativity into the Saintess’s own body and purify them.

Those who received blessings would all say things like how their bodies felt lighter, or how their pain had vanished.

But she herself had never received such a thing.

Seen that way, perhaps a Saintess was a being who carved away her own flesh to give everything to others.

A soft snort.

“That is true. Gloria is indeed not very merciful.”

“Then what of this place?”

At that question, she raised her head and looked at the former Saintess, slightly hollow-cheeked.

“Are you asking for my personal opinion?”

The other woman slowly nodded, and Shallen too tapped her lips with her napkin before speaking.

“This is a place where many people dwell who are unworthy of Gloria’s mercy.”

“……Is that why you still have not gone to see His Holiness the Pope?”

At those words, the corners of her lips rose and she gave a small shrug.

The reason she had not gone to see the Pope immediately was clear. She did not want to use holy power on him.

Even if he lay bedridden now, he too was the same sort of person as Pavivan. He locked away Saintesses who had become useless in secluded places and starved them to death.

To Shallen, who had stepped down from the place of Saintess, Kardin had publicly proposed marriage before everyone, together with the words asking her to marry him.

She had only been able to live because the Holy Kingdom had accepted it reluctantly.

Shallen still had not forgotten the Pope’s vile face as he threatened her until the day before the wedding.

When she said nothing, the woman smiled and said:

“Gloria always gives no answer.”

At the former Saintess’s words, Shallen only gazed quietly at her without saying anything.

“But did Gloria give you an answer, Saintess Shallen?”

She lowered her head slightly and smiled. Has God Gloria given her an answer?

If that was God’s answer.

“Yes. I was given an answer.”

“May I ask what it was?”

“I was told that I should become the daughter of an unmerciful God.”

Their conversation was plain and quiet, yet it contained words that no one should ever hear.

After finishing dinner with the former Saintess, she walked alone in front of the temple.

It had only been a mere month since she returned. She did not know why time was passing so slowly.

Whenever the warm wind brushed past the collar of her clothes, she sank into old thoughts.

Even when she tried to erase them, it was useless, so now she simply accepted them.

While she was alone steadying her emotions, the sound of someone’s footsteps came, and she turned around.

“Saintess!”

“Amy. What would you have done if you hurt yourself running?”

She gently soothed the girl, who was swallowing down ragged breaths. Amy caught her breath, then opened her mouth.

“Huff, Saintess. The head of the temple is looking for you.”