“Are you saying this because I hesitated?”

“That’s not…”

‘No—’

‘It’s because, even for a moment, I tried to use you—’

The words rose to her lips, disordered, but stopped.

“No.”

Instead, she gave the opposite answer.

“Yes.”

She widened her eyes as fiercely as she could.

On her slender face, her large eyes sharpened into something almost convincing.

“You’re the same. You just lure people in with sweet words… and you won’t keep your promises either. That’s why I don’t like you anymore.”

“I see.”

Raymond nodded without resistance.

And at that her chest tightened painfully.

She thought she had grown used to being disliked.

But there was a difference between being hated by a stranger, and by someone she knew.

“So…”

Just one more cold word, that was all it would take.

But the words refused to come.

As they lingered, caught in her mouth—

“Do you know something?”

Only then did she meet his gaze.

There was no resentment in his expression.

His lips were still warm.

His eyes, still gentle fixed on her.

“If you’re going to push someone away, your expression and your actions have to match.”

“With a face like that… no one will believe you.”

Instead of responding, Ilenia lowered her head.

A memory surfaced, of someone who had studied her face over and over again.

Delphius’s eyes. Eyes that tried to confirm whether the woman before him was truly her, so completely different from the gaze of the man in front of her now.

“…Haha.”

The Delphius she had come to understand through others only made her feel more miserable.

Everything she had struggled with on her own finally began to make sense.

His inability to understand her efforts to become someone worthy of him—that too, now made sense.

“Does what others think matter that much?”

From the very beginning it had never mattered to Delphius Lukehardt.

A woman who simply filled the space beside him, that was enough.

Any doll would do as long as it stood there.

There had never been anything he truly wanted from her.

Blood rushed to her face.

Even as the heat spread all the way to the crown of her head, she couldn’t bring herself to lift it.

Had she ever looked so pathetic as she did now?

“Milady? Are you alright?”

At the kindness that poured over her, she drew in a shaky breath.

A soft sniff escaped her.

She tried to nod but the tears pooling in her eyes threatened to fall, and she stopped herself.

Sniffling again, she spoke quietly,

“…I’m sorry for acting so selfishly.”

“Please don’t apologize to me, milady. I’m the one who came here without notice.”

He gently placed a handkerchief on the table in front of her.

“I just hope… you won’t hurt yourself anymore.”

Raymond’s quiet, careful kindness finally broke her.

Ilenia burst into tears again.

He didn’t panic.

He simply hovered nearby, his hands restless, unsure of what to do.

He tapped against the teacup, picked up the handkerchief only to set it down again, movements she couldn’t fully see, and yet somehow felt.

‘I have to know now.’

‘I have to face it with my own eyes.’

Ilenia could no longer avoid it.

What she had believed to be warmth had never truly been rooted in kindness.

That realization struck again, and her already worn-down heart ached sharply.

She rubbed her swollen eyes for a long time.

Her eyes, which rarely swelled, were now so puffed that even her double eyelids had disappeared.

There was no way she could open them properly.

When she finally looked up, everything around her was dim.

Her last memory had been the drawing room—and yet, this dark space was unmistakably her bedroom.

She clutched the thin blanket tightly. The indoor clothes peeking out beneath it slowly brought her memories back.

She had cried for a long time.

Just like the day her child had died, she had poured out everything, as if emptying her entire heart.

She hadn’t even been aware of Raymond in front of her.

All she could do was cry, overwhelmed by the flood of her own emotions.

“Raymond…”

She looked around, then stilled when she realized there was no sign of him.

Even the view beyond the window told her that a considerable amount of time had passed.

There was no way he would still be here at this hour.

Ilenia gently rubbed her shoulder.

“You’re awake?”

The maid entered, carrying a basin, and greeted her warmly.

“Sir Raymond has already left. He said he couldn’t stay too late in a house where the lady was alone.”

Stepping into the room, the maid set the basin down on the bedside table with a soft thud.

“Oh? What’s this?”

She tilted her head, holding something in her hand.

Naturally, Ilenia’s gaze followed.

A familiar shape—

And at the end of the long strip of paper a small ribbon.

Without realizing it, Ilenia reached out her hand.

“It’s mine.”

“Oh—my goodness, I’m sorry. I thought it had been torn off from somewhere…”

The maid quickly handed the bookmark back to her.

Though slightly creased, it was still as lovely as ever.

Ilenia stared at it silently.

A belated sense of guilt welled up within her.

Not only had she spoken harshly, she had even broken down and cried like a child.

The heat rising to her face was nothing like the sting of her damaged skin.

And that wasn’t all.

When she remembered that Raymond’s mother was Marlenda, her shame deepened even further.

To both of them, she felt nothing but apology. They had been the only ones in this town who treated her kindly. And yet, instead of repaying that kindness, she had only pushed them away.

So she could no longer burden them.

Neither Marlenda nor Raymond.

It was time to handle things on her own.

After changing into a negligee, and once the maid had left the room, Ilenia sat down at the desk beside her bed.

She lit the lamp.

With paper and pen laid out before her, it almost felt like a proper workspace.

After a moment of hesitation, she slowly picked up the pen.

It had been months since she last held one, the sensation in her fingertips felt unfamiliar.

At first, her writing faltered.

Each time she wrote, she would cross it out.

The sentence didn’t feel right.

The words weren’t quite right.

Even the shape of the letters displeased her, and she struck through them without mercy.

Only after going through several sheets of paper did she finally manage to write three letters.

One for Delphius.
One for Hildebalt.
And the last one…

Ilenia opened the drawer and took out a piece of paper she had kept hidden deep inside.

As she unfolded it, elegant handwriting revealed an unfamiliar address.

[Ariella Calante.]

Slowly, she traced the name with her finger.

Then, she wrote that address onto the final envelope.

“…Haa.”

By the time she finished the last stroke, the faint light of the sky had long since faded into darkness.

She carefully placed the three envelopes into the drawer, then returned to bed.

Out of habit, her gaze drifted to the empty space beside her, but she soon turned away, facing the wall.

Yet her body, freshly awakened not long ago, refused to fall asleep.

No matter how many times she shifted, her mind remained clear with no sign of sinking into rest.

Whenever she couldn’t fall asleep, Delphius would hold her close—pressing against her, refusing to let her go. He would keep her in his arms until her strength gave out, until she was too exhausted to remain awake.

And now, to think she would find herself longing for that again.

Ilenia swallowed the bitterness rising in her chest and forced her eyes shut.

‘I’ll have to get used to this loneliness too.’

She had to.

***

“Are there three letters?”

“Yes.”

Thump.

Ilenia watched as the seal was stamped onto the envelopes.

There was no turning back now.

The letters passed into someone else’s hands, tied together beyond her reach.

She was told they would arrive in about a week.

With that, she stepped out of the building.

A sharp, acrid scent of smoke drifted into her vision.

“It looks like a train has arrived.”

At the maid’s words, Ilenia turned her head.

The train station beside the post office was much smaller than the one she had seen in the capital.

Still—compared to Tilea Hill, where there had been nothing at all, even this felt like a luxury.

“That’s probably the last train arriving here today. It’s such a small town, so there aren’t many trips.”

Even reaching this place required a long carriage ride.

Judging by the sunset slowly settling over the horizon, the timing was just right.

Ilenia quietly watched the people moving in orderly lines along the platform.

Their clothes, lighter with the warmer weather, were bright and lively in color.

And among those vivid figures—her gaze stopped on one person.

Long legs. A height that stood out unmistakably above the rest. A man who always wore neat suits, favoring muted tones—Delphius.