Chapter 30 – Love

“If you need anything, the butler is waiting outside.”

“Huh? Eddie, do you have to go?”

For some reason, there wasn’t even a single sofa for the Duke of Raspe to sit in this big room!

She’d written a letter and come all the way to see him, but Edmund had planned to leave her alone from the start.

‘Why does it feel like he’s always running away? Is he scared of me? That can’t be. Even when I was scared of him, I didn’t run away!’

Elia almost shouted, “Don’t go!” like she did with Eugene at Roang mansion, but managed to hold back.

‘Isn’t there a way to keep him here, without sounding childish?’

She tried her best not to look like a whining child who didn’t want to sleep alone.

“Eddie, aren’t you working too much without rest? Sit for a bit before you go. You must be tired from traveling. If you’re not too busy…”

He’d come all the way to Roang just for a letter, and now he was going to leave after barely seeing her?

As Elia tried to persuade Edmund, she glanced back and saw Hans giving her a desperate look: “Please, just a little more!”

If you counted the people in the mansion who most wanted Edmund to rest, Elia would be third, and Hans, who was sick of the Duke, would be number one.

The tension between the two was quickly resolved. Of course, Elia won.

“…Hans.”

“Yes, I’ll bring the documents you need to read right away!”

He answered so fast when called, Elia couldn’t help but laugh at his eagerness.

Now, with Hans gone to get his long-awaited break and chat, only Elia, Edmund, and four knights guarding the door remained in the library.

“Thank you. So… Eddie, you’re going to read the documents Hans brings, right? What should I read? There are so many books here, it’ll take ages just to pick one.”

“I’ve prepared a catalog of the collection, so look through that first.”

“Catalog? This is the catalog? It’s so thick, it’s like another book.”

“Mystery novels should be listed here.”

Elia received the catalog that recorded information and purchase history of the books in the library.

The very first entry was about an annotated history book from the Erom era, purchased forty years ago.

“Entry number one is an annotated Erom era history book. Forty years ago… That must have been bought by your grandparents. Good. Instead of a mystery novel, I’ll read this catalog first. Eddie, want to join me? It’s boring until Sir Hans comes.”

Elia, declaring she would read the catalog like a novel, headed for the huge cushion.

‘It’s at least five times bigger than the one Daisy made. It’s even bigger than my bed.’

The cushion, covered in dark brown fabric that suited the library, had enough space for two more people even after Elia lay her whole body on it.

“Eddie, what are you doing? Are you picking another book?”

Edmund just stared at Elia, who had flopped onto the cushion. Only when Elia asked did he shake his head slightly.

His reaction was much slower than usual, making Elia curious.

‘He went through all the trouble to prepare this cushion for me to lie down, but now he’s acting awkward? Well, Eugene always made a fuss whenever I tried to lie down on the floor.’

She could understand if he felt uncomfortable, but Elia still wanted him to try lying down at least once.

“Are you feeling awkward? Just try it once, even if you’re tricked into it. If lying on your stomach is uncomfortable, you can just lie on your back and look at the ceiling.”

Despite Elia’s urging, Edmund didn’t seem to know how to sit. It wasn’t about awkwardness or embarrassment.

Rather, Edmund simply couldn’t move because he was mesmerized by Elia, who lay there so comfortably and without any guard.

Her skirt had ridden up, revealing her calves, the loosely tailored fabric draped in curves, her face turned toward him as she held herself up with her arms.

“Eddie.”

Her lips parted as she said his name. Curious eyes. Platinum hair falling near her shoulder blades…

Edmund accepted the sight of Elia before him, unable to resist.

Watching her made him wonder. What did he look like in her eyes? How did they appear together?

‘It must look mismatched, like forcing two different artists’ paintings onto one canvas.’

Edmund could easily imagine Elia’s portrait on a canvas—sketched in detail, colored with bright paints, simply beautiful.

But for himself, even a rough outline with just a dab of paint would be enough.

“Eddie, what’s wrong?”

Edmund doubted not his love for Elia, but the affection returned to him.

How could such different people love each other?

He was even afraid—what if Elia was just mistaken? What if, under the name of fiancée, she accepted a man’s love out of pity?

‘What if she realizes too late and regrets giving her heart, and leaves?’

He was terrified of a future that hadn’t come yet. But she was so lovely he couldn’t help but want to hold on, no matter what.

He didn’t want to be someone she’d wrinkle her nose at and tear away from. He wanted to be a painting that blended in, to stay by her side.

‘Maybe it was better when all I felt was the foolish urge to bite your pretty eyes.’

Still, Edmund needed to learn how to approach slowly, even if it took time.

He carefully took each step toward Elia so as not to seem impatient.

Then, slowly, he sat on the cushion where Elia lay. Even though he was careful, his weight made the cushion shift under Elia.

‘Wow… It looked like there was enough space for Eugene and Daisy too, but now…’

Just his slight weight filled the space that had seemed enough for two or three. Elia’s eyes sparkled in wonder at their size difference.

As Edmund turned his head to look at Elia, he felt a bit pressured by her bright eyes.

“I thought you’d be uncomfortable if I lay down.”

“Then what if I move over? Or should I get up first?”

Edmund was truly troubled now, and Elia noticed he was struggling with her request.

But Elia never said, ‘Eddie, if you’re uncomfortable, just get up.’

‘I’m really mean. But just a little longer, I want you to be troubled because of me.’

Edmund was like a big hawk, wanting to perch near his master but hesitating in case he broke the perch.

Elia just watched the big creature hesitate, instead of kindly making space for him. He was just too adorable.

And, a little, she wanted revenge.

‘I’ve suffered so much! I can’t just forget it all and move on like it never happened.’

She held back her laughter and urged him again.

“Come on, lie down. Just try it once and relax.”

Reluctantly, Edmund leaned back slowly. His cautious movements, worried Elia might roll off because of him, tickled her heart.

Unable to bear the fluttering feeling, Elia trembled slightly. Edmund, watching her, reacted immediately.

“It’s okay. I’m fine, so just lie down.”

It took Edmund quite a while to finally lie flat and look at the ceiling. Elia didn’t find the wait boring at all.

She watched his dark hair settle, the unfamiliar feeling in his back making him frown slightly.

Finally, the hawk folded its wings on a small branch.

Elia, lying next to him, propped up her chin. Edmund’s face, which she always had to look up to, was now right beside her, at her level.

“We’re here. How is it?”

“…It’s a little awkward.”

“Don’t be nervous. Eddie, breathe with me. Hoo…”

Seeing Edmund still tense, Elia took deep breaths beside him, making him do the same. After a few tries, she saw his stiff neck relax.

‘If I pat his back a few times, he’d relax quickly. But I probably shouldn’t.’

His gloves seemed to answer, ‘No.’

“Eddie, you can relax. I won’t fall off. There’s plenty of space.”

“Mm. I’m fine too.”

“Do you always sleep so straight, looking at the ceiling? I can never sleep like that. Even if I lie straight before bed, I wake up with an arm or leg hanging off the side.”

Elia bounced her legs on the cushion, boasting about her sleeping habits. Having teased him once, she felt responsible to make him laugh with her silly story.

“When I was little, no matter how big the bed, I’d fall off in my sleep. So they put a big cushion on the floor and made me sleep there. I guess that’s why I like lying on the floor now.”

Edmund smiled faintly at Elia’s gentle story. It wasn’t hard to imagine little Elia rolling off a big bed and crying.

‘Come to think of it, she always slept on the edge of the bed in the mornings.’

When they shared a bed, Elia always curled up at the very edge.

‘I thought you wanted to avoid me, even in sleep.’

If he’d known it was just a habit, he wouldn’t have left her in such a risky position.

He would have pulled her into his arms at least once.

Edmund swallowed his bitterness. Even if he’d have to revisit it later, for now he tried to focus only on Elia before him.

“I’ll have to order a really big bed. So you won’t fall.”

“Huh? Uh-huh.”

Who wouldn’t be embarrassed to hear their fiancé talking about beds? Elia made a strange face, neither laughing nor crying.

But Elia wasn’t just going to be embarrassed.

“I told you, that was when I was little. I don’t fall now. I’m not a child.”

Not a child. Elia repeated herself, dissatisfied with just saying it once. To Edmund, it was no different than a three-year-old insisting, ‘I’m all grown up!’

Elia wanted to say: Even if love is hard, and she knows nothing, time won’t just pass her by.

Autumn will come for her, too.

“Spring is in full swing, and summer is coming. After summer, I’ll be of age.”

“Yes, autumn is coming.”

“Right. In autumn… huh?”

Elia, echoing Edmund’s words, paused as a thought struck her. Her long lashes fluttered as she frowned in concentration.

‘Come to think of it, there are plenty of red flowers, but you only sent autumn-blooming ones?’

When Elia searched for the meaning of Edmund’s gift, she found every flower he’d sent was described in the autumn section.

“Eddie, was it because they were autumn flowers?”

“Hm?”

“The flowers you sent before! All those flowers—dahlia, marigold… Was it because my birthday is in autumn?”

“Yes. I chose autumn flowers because your birthday is in autumn.”

When Edmund’s quiet voice answered, Elia couldn’t meet his gaze and blushed deeply.

If Edmund touched her with his gloved hand, the blush blooming on her face would surely rub off.

‘Oh, what do I do.’

Joy, embarrassment, ecstasy… All those feelings, colored like the heart, spread through her eyes, and Elia wanted to tell him.

She wanted to promise him the future.

“Eddie, when I come of age… on my birthday, could you give me autumn flowers again? Not as many as before. Just one bouquet. Enough for me to hold.”

“As a birthday present?”

“Yes, and if possible—no, definitely. You have to give them to me yourself. No matter how busy you are, you have to give them to me directly. Okay?”

“I promise. I’ll choose the most beautiful flowers and give them to you.”

Elia smiled brightly at his promise, spreading joy everywhere.

Edmund, too, smiled, his eyes blooming with blue flowers with red stamens.

They both imagined the same scene.

Elia, in autumn, with an armful of red flowers—how beautiful would she be?

Edmund, looking at him with that same smile—how ecstatic would he be?

Under the autumn sky, they would surely be happier than ever.

And this feeling, so overwhelming even in imagination, must be love.

Elia realized anew: she liked this man. This was love.

Edmund, too, gazed at the girl he loved and fell in love all over again.

“Elly.”

“Yes, Eddie.”

“…Is it okay?”

Elia, shyly covering her cheeks with both hands, blinked. She’d heard Edmund speak, but didn’t understand right away. She tilted her head, asking him to repeat.

His voice, weighted with longing, echoed for her.

“Just once, can I touch you?”

No other reason—just. He wanted to know how warm she was.

He wanted to know how lonely he’d been, living in a cold place all this time.