Chapter 29.3

‘He must regret it. Covering lies with more lies, only to realize it’s already too late.’

She had once thought that a small lie, told to appear a little more lovable or to be loved, might be forgivable.

No one can be perfect. Because of loneliness, because they desperately want each other’s love. She thought small lies could be forgiven between lovers.

‘But if the little lie I started, the little secret I forgave, grows and tries to swallow us whole, and if we only regret it when it’s too late to turn back…’

She might end up living tied to the past, pointlessly longing for dead parents.

Elia, or maybe Edmund.

She wondered if both of them might end up hurt by each other’s lies, losing all happiness and endlessly chewing over the past.

“Eddie, about the tailor shop on Second Avenue… Did you look into it just to tell me?”

Edmund hesitated slightly, then nodded.

“I told the staff to report to me if the culprit was caught. The report came in today.”

“Really? You went that far just to let me know? Thank you. Um… I have a question.”

“What is it?”

“About the tailor shop case, I got almost everything right! Is that why you told me? But if I’d been wrong, what would you have done? You’d still have told me, right?”

“…If you seemed curious, I’d have told you.”

Edmund’s answer was hesitant, but just as Elia hoped, so she sighed in relief.

“Hmm. Would you ever keep it secret if you thought I’d be embarrassed because I was wrong… or upset in front of you? I hope you wouldn’t. I’ll try to do the same for you.”

Elia straightened her back and smoothed her wrinkled clothes, as if making an excuse to look away from Edmund.

She thought the sideways glance was just embarrassment, but today it felt different.

“Tell me, Eddie. Even if something is a little disappointing, even if it might upset me, if you don’t say anything, I won’t know. Then I’ll be even more upset.”

Edmund felt confused by the hesitation and guilt in Elia’s expression.

<If you don’t say anything, I won’t know.>

<I’ll never be able to act like I know, if I don’t know at all.>

Elia’s words echoed soundlessly. The voice of a woman in his memory. Who was she? Elia at twenty-eight? Or Elia at eighteen?

Maybe it was Edmund himself, wanting to confess everything.

‘Elly, you must have realized I’m hiding something. But I don’t know… How much should I say?’

Edmund hesitated, not knowing how to respond to Elia’s subtle hints.

‘Is it wrong to just keep loving you like this?’

It felt as if he was standing on top of a music box. Like Elia was already there, waiting for him in the place he was trying to reach.

But he hadn’t even realized he was on the music box until now.

* * *

“Eddie, you know…”

Elia lowered her voice as if whispering, then called Edmund with her usual tone. It sounded like, ‘I’m not asking you to tell me right now.’

“About the tailor shop. When I think about it, I got everything right. Didn’t I? I said there would be other conspirators besides the employee.”

“There were three cases where the butler was involved, just as you guessed.”

“Exactly! I’m so proud. I’ll have to tell Daisy when I get back. If I worked a little harder, I could be a writer. A mystery novelist. Oh, do you have mystery novels at the Dukedom? I usually skip ahead and check the culprit, but this time I’ll try to guess from the start.”

“There are classics, and probably quite a few.”

“Then I want my first book to be a mystery.”

“Take it to Roang too. Did you finish the books I sent before?”

“Yes, they were fun. All three were good, but the best one was…”

Elia’s book talk continued until their carriage arrived at the mansion.

Hans, the aide, came out to greet them and joked at Elia’s cheerful appearance.

“It reminds me of a line from my favorite opera.”

“What line is that?”

“‘Love conquers all.’”

“…That’s meant kindly, right?”

“Of course. I just wanted to say you seem to be getting more beautiful and healthier every day.”

Hans shamelessly delivered his roundabout compliment and personally led them to the library.

“Is the library in a separate building?”

“It’s not a separate building, but it’s connected to the main building.”

“Huh? I don’t get it.”

“There’s a separate library building.”

Elia had expected something only slightly bigger than a drawing room, so she was shocked to hear there was a whole building just for books.

“Oh, I remember seeing a two-story building outside. Was that the library?”

Finally, the library of the Dukedom appeared before Elia, far beyond anything she could have imagined.

“I want to live here. I’m just saying, but… Actually, I mean it halfway. I think I could spend a month here.”

“Tell me any time you want to come.”

“Mm… Wow. Really, this is incredible.”

Elia barely heard Edmund’s answer, her attention captured by the walls and two floors packed with books. The central area was cleared, but all the walls and even the second floor were filled with books—a truly spectacular sight.

She stared, mesmerized by the antique decorations and luxurious carpets, before finally noticing the huge chandelier hanging in the center and the large cushions below it.

“Huh? Why are there only cushions, no sofa?”

“I heard you like reading in a comfortable position.”

How did Edmund find out Elia liked reading lying on the floor?

She’d never been embarrassed when Eugene nagged her to sit up straight, but now she blushed at the thought that Edmund knew she sprawled on the floor like a child.

‘I should’ve listened to Eugene… No, it must’ve been Eugene gossiping!’

It was more embarrassing to be childish than to lack dignity. She’d already worried that Edmund kept his distance because she wasn’t yet an adult.

“Sorry, Elly.”

“Huh, why are you apologizing?”

“Earl Roang mentioned it in passing, so I thought you’d like it. I should have thought more about it. I’m clumsy.”

Edmund seemed so worried about her embarrassed reaction, he looked ready to dig himself into the ground.

She shouldn’t laugh, but… Edmund was just too…

‘Too lovable. He does everything well, but calls himself clumsy and gets upset.’

Elia coughed a few times and comforted Edmund.

“Eddie, it’s not that. I’m just embarrassed. Actually, I love reading lying down. But Eugene always nags me, says I’ll embarrass myself as a Duchess. That thought just popped into my head.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Thank you. You don’t think I’m too childish, right? I’m really happy. You prepared something I like without me even mentioning it. Thank you. Really, thank you.”

Elia covered her flushed face with her hands, expressing her gratitude.

Her habit of hiding behind her hands was endearing but a little sad. Edmund spoke slowly.

“Elly, when you come to Raspe, you can do whatever you want. As much as you want.”

“So… you won’t mind if I read lying down?”

“Anything. If it makes you happy.”

Not a precious jewel or fancy outfit—he wanted to give her happiness, something that took time and thought to give.

He didn’t know much yet.

“I’ll make your favorite room into a bedroom. Crimson, blue… I’ll take you to places with beautiful scenery, painted in every color you want. And if you decorate the hallway with the views we saw together, I’ll memorize every picture in the mansion.”

He lowered himself to raise Elia, looking up to her.

He was like a flower blooming for just one person, kneeling and yearning for the sun.

“I’ll fill the library with new books every day. So you’ll never be bored, and only see beautiful things. I’ll plant flowers in the garden that look like you… and make sure flowers bloom all year round so you can see them whenever you want.”

His calm voice, hiding longing, the sound of Elia’s heartbeat, the warmth filling the big library where sunlight couldn’t reach.

“And, Elly. Elia, I promise.”

The blue monster smiled at Elia, careful not to show his big fangs. Hoping she wouldn’t be afraid.

“I’ll always protect you, so you won’t get hurt, so you’ll never be in danger.”

Elia thought of the small cookies baked with flower petals.

Pretty, sweet, but so fragile if you’re not careful. She thought of a single small cookie.

In Edmund’s confession, Elia was that small cookie. Filling his mouth and heart with sweetness, making him want to treasure her.

And so fragile, she might break at any moment.

‘I like you. I love that you treasure me, and never express your feelings lightly. You always confess as if it’s so hard, as if you’re pressing down until you can’t hold it in. That’s so precious, so pitiful, so lovable.’

Compared to the time when she was nothing to him, now it felt like spring would last forever. Elia could only feel happy.

“…Thank you, Eddie. I like you too. I really do.”

But Eddie, Edmund… Is it really okay?

Can your precious woman be content just looking at the beauty you’ve gathered and created, safe in your arms? Is that enough?

Is it really okay to love you without knowing anything, Edmund?

Are you okay with that?

‘If I only hold onto the beautiful things you give me, and just stay safe… Can love really bloom in a relationship like that? Can I just trust that?’

Elia felt sadness.

She wished she could know more. She wished she understood love.

‘Eddie, I’m sorry. Love is so difficult for me, since it’s my first time.’