Chapter 2.15

Her head felt dizzy, and her eyelids were heavy. It was as if someone were pressing down on her body from above, creating an overwhelming sense of pressure.

Is this another dream?

She felt suffocated. Breathing didn’t come easily. Barely managing to move her fingers, she found herself able to breathe a little better.

With great effort, she forced her heavy eyelids upward. The moment her eyes opened, a bright light flooded in, stinging her vision. A groan escaped her lips.

“Ugh…”

Suddenly, she felt a strong grip on her shoulder. A figure abruptly came into view amidst the brightness.

“Leti.”

A familiar voice…

“Leti, are you awake?”

She blinked, trying to focus her blurry vision. After blinking several times in succession, his features gradually became clear.

A gaunt face, a rough, unshaven chin, and dark, lifeless eyes…

It was Karl Lavresion, and yet it wasn’t. The radiant golden eyes, the smooth red hair, and the perpetually smiling lips were nowhere to be found.

She quietly stared at his face. For some reason, her chest didn’t rise and fall as it used to. Perhaps it was because he wasn’t smiling. Or perhaps…

“Leti…”

He called her name again. She shifted her eyes, scanning her surroundings. It was an unfamiliar room. A soft bed, a luxurious chandelier, and what appeared to be smooth marble caught her attention. It all felt strange and alien.

“Leti.”

The excessively lavish and spacious room and the deer-shaped plaster statue on the table gave her a vague idea of where she was. The deer was the symbol of the Chevrem Empire. As such, the Chevrem Empire’s crest also featured a deer, and during national events like public holidays, flags adorned with a stag were used.

So, this is the Solar Palace.

Even though her biological father was the Emperor, this was her first time inside the Solar Palace. She had only ever gazed at it from the outside. The Emperor had never permitted her, his illegitimate child, to enter his palace.

“Leti, can’t you speak?”

The sound of his voice broke her train of thought. Turning her head, she looked at Karl Lavresion. His golden eyes trembled slightly.

It was strange. Once, just looking at him would have made her heart flutter and her body tremble, but now, she felt no emotional stirrings whatsoever.

Lowering her gaze, she looked down at her abdomen. The once-swollen belly had flattened.

“I’ve given birth.”

“The children is being cared for by the nursemaid.”

“So, I didn’t die, and neither did the children.”

Everything felt strange. Why hadn’t she died? She had been certain she would die during childbirth. She knew her frail body all too well, having been sickly since childhood. Whenever she fell ill, she would be bedridden for a week at the very least…

“How much time has passed since I gave birth?”

“Two months…”

“So, I’ve been unconscious for two months. I survived… after all.”

This must have been the answer from the divine. To live and take responsibility for the children. She accepted the divine’s answer with humility.

“I want to see the children…”

As she spoke and tried to sit up, a sharp pain shot through her waist and pelvis, causing her strength to leave her body. Even her wrist, which she had used to brace herself on the sheets, began to ache.

“Ah…”

“Does it hurt a lot? Are you okay?”

Karl Lavresion reached out and asked. She lay back down on the bed and blinked. Though the pain was less severe than what she had felt during childbirth, she still disliked the sensation. Pain was never something she welcomed, even if it was expected as an aftereffect.

“Should I bring the children here?”

“…Yes.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. Moving her wrist slightly, she felt the sting of pain again. Her lips twisted into a grimace.

I don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m so tired.

After some time, the door opened. She saw the children in the nursemaid’s arms and another in Karl Lavresion’s. They approached her and showed her the children.

The moment one of the children, who had been quietly blinking, met her eyes, they burst into tears. As one cried, the other followed suit. Unsure of what to do, she fidgeted anxiously until the nursemaid smiled and spoke.

“They’re fussing because they want to be held. Such a lovely daughter.”

“Oh, I see…”

The nursemaid gently informed her of the child’s gender and handed her the daughter. Clumsily mimicking the nursemaid’s posture, she held the child. As soon as she did, the baby stopped crying as if nothing had happened. However, the child in Karl Lavresion’s arms continued to wail. He sat on the edge of the bed and moved closer to her.

“It seems she knows you’re her mother.”

As the distance between them closed, the baby’s cries subsided. It was a strange and peculiar feeling.

Before meeting the children, she had been overwhelmed with guilt and a sense of responsibility. But now, facing the twins, those emotions faded, replaced by a gentle fluttering in her chest and a faint sense of excitement.

Is this what maternal love feels like? Do I have maternal love within me, too?

She had once wished for the children to die and even imagined killing them. Yet now, those horrifying thoughts had vanished, leaving only a desire to keep looking at them.

“Their names…?”

When she asked about the children’s names, no one answered. Shifting her gaze from the baby to Karl Lavresion, she saw him rubbing his chin with a troubled expression.

“They don’t have names?”

“Well, you see… Leti, we were waiting for you to wake up so you could name them.”

His excuse was pathetic. Her chest grew cold. Sensing her displeasure, he quickly added with a flustered expression.

“It’s true. I thought you might have names in mind that you wanted.”

“So, you left them nameless until now?”

Karl Lavresion fell silent, avoiding her gaze. Lowering his eyes, he opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, eventually slumping his shoulders like a scolded puppy.

“…I’m sorry.”

She sighed and recalled the names she had intended for the children. For a boy, Killian. For a girl, Selina. Killian Evris, Selina Evris…

“Killian. Selina.”

Muttering the names she had thought of, they rolled smoothly off her tongue. Gazing down at the baby in her arms, she carefully examined her daughter’s features. Her golden eyes and facial features bore a striking resemblance to Karl Lavresion.

“Selina.”

When she called the name, the baby responded by moving her arms. She grasped Selina’s tiny hand as it wriggled. The baby smiled. Her heart raced. She found herself staring at the smiling baby as if enchanted.

It felt similar yet different to the feelings she had once harbored for Karl Lavresion. When she faced him, her heart had fluttered, but there had always been an undercurrent of anxiety and unease. With the child, there was no anxiety or unease—only joy and excitement. She even felt a sense of anticipation. Anticipation that this child would call her “Mother” and nestle into her arms.

Her mother once said, ‘You and I are unique! We are the only family that no one can sever.’

Now, she understood why her mother had said that. She was certain of it. She would love this child for a very long time—no, forever.

Even if this child didn’t give her the same love in return… it wouldn’t matter. She would love them regardless.

It was a love unlike any she had ever sought before—a love that was infinite and boundless. At the very least, its depths would never be visible. She could vaguely sense that.

After gazing at Selina for a while, she handed the baby back to the nursemaid and extended her hand toward Karl Lavresion. It was a gesture asking for Killian. He stared at her for a moment before handing over the boy.

She held Killian in her arms. He was slightly heavier than Selina. Killian fussed, seemingly uncomfortable, and there was a hint of wariness in his blue eyes as he looked at her. Staring into the child’s eyes, which mirrored her own, she spoke.

“Killian.”

Despite the stinging pain in her wrist, she gently stroked the baby’s cheek.

“Killian.”

The child’s wary gaze gradually softened. They simply blinked quietly. She held the child closer, immersing herself in a sense of fulfillment.

Had my love for Karl Lavresion shifted to the children? Or was it a completely different kind of affection?

Perhaps… this was the kind of love she had always longed for. The kind her mother had spoken of—a bond that could never be severed because they were family, a love that was eternal and unconditional.

Her father had never given her what she desired, but she was different. She was confident that she could give her children the infinite love she had always yearned for.

Perhaps because she had held Killian for so long, her wrist began to ache unbearably. Reluctantly, she handed him back to Karl Lavresion and lay down.

The nursemaid, sensing the moment, took the children and left the room. Karl Lavresion remained seated on the edge of the bed, staring at her intently.