Chapter 3.3

You need to return to Arhadan.  

Karl Lavresion recalled the words he had heard countless times. Everyone around him told him he had to leave.  

He knew it in his head. If he announced his departure tomorrow, everyone would rejoice and begin preparing to leave.  

Returning to Arhadan would change his standing. He had successfully negotiated with the Emperor of Chevrem as he wanted. Arhadan would now oversee the governance of Rodban, a central region of the Kingdom of Almann. Having accomplished what had been delayed for so long, he knew that upon his return, he would be welcomed not only by the Emperor and the Crown Prince but also by the citizens of the Empire.

He knew all of this. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. There was only one reason.  

Leticia Evris. That woman in Chevrem. He didn’t want to leave the empire where she resided. If he returned to Arhadan, he would be even farther away from her…  

“Your Highness. You cannot stay here indefinitely.”  

It had been over two years since he had settled in the capital of Chevrem. Even the Emperor of Chevrem had jokingly suggested he might as well make it his permanent residence.  

The stares from those around him were no longer just noticeable—they were piercing. Everyone who had followed him from Arhadan pleaded with their eyes, their entire bodies, asking when they would return. They all had roots and families in Arhadan.  

He had to go back. It was the right thing to do. But he couldn’t.  

“Your Highness, we can’t delay any longer. Everyone misses Arhadan. Their families are waiting for them.”  

“…Go.”  

“Pardon?”  

“If you want to go, then go. I’m staying here.”  

“Your Highness! How could you tell us to leave you behind? We are all your people!”  

Hans, for once, raised his voice. Karl Lavresion didn’t even register the fact that his subordinate had shouted at him. He was dazed.  

Lately, it felt as though his mind was shrouded in fog. He often failed to grasp what others were saying to him on the first try and had to ask them to repeat themselves.  

“Your Highness, please. Get a hold of yourself.”  

Hans pleaded earnestly. He was at his limit. The subordinates who had followed Karl from Arhadan were all at the peak of their dissatisfaction. If things were delayed any further, even Hans couldn’t predict what might happen.  

Most pressing of all, Ronan, his loyal confidant, was imprisoned in the notorious and brutal underground dungeon for the crime of momentarily leaving his post. The incident had occurred when Leticia Evris was attacked, but even so, the punishment was excessive. To imprison a loyal servant for so long over a single woman? His master had lost his reason.  

“Please, Your Highness, come to your senses!”  

“…”  

“You weren’t like this before. Right?”  

‘You weren’t like this before…’  

What was I like before? What kind of person was I?  

Karl Lavresion tried to think with his foggy mind. He had never truly reflected deeply on who he was. He had always dismissed his emotions and thoughts lightly, brushing them aside. Ever since that day, he had avoided delving into his feelings or thoughts. It was easier that way.  

That’s why confronting his feelings for Leticia Evris felt so unfamiliar. He wasn’t used to it, so he avoided and dismissed them, as he always did. But he shouldn’t have. How foolish of him.  

The foolish one wasn’t Leticia Evris. It was him. At least she understood her emotions and faced them head-on. She didn’t avoid them like he did. She was a courageous person. She wasn’t someone to be looked down upon as foolish or naïve.  

She wasn’t a coward like him—someone who avoided and fled from the emotions of love itself.  

She wasn’t a fool who only realized his feelings too late, regretting a lost love and trying to reclaim it.  

“I’ve been such an idiot.”  

“…Your Highness.”  

“I’ve been a complete fool.”  

Karl Lavresion sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the empty space beside him. He could faintly see the shadow of her figure, lying there as she used to. But the real her was no longer there.  

Leticia was a brave and kind person. She had the strength to move forward, even without him. She had only been held back by those who shackled her and blinded her path. Within her was the strength to overcome. He had been one of those who shackled her.  

He knew this. Yet, despite knowing, he couldn’t bear not seeing her. Even from afar, he wanted to watch her. He wanted to know how she was living.  

He wanted to know what she was doing, what she was eating, what made her smile, and whether she was truly happy without him.  

I can’t endure this.  

I want to see her.  

That was the only thought in his mind. Karl Lavresion continued to stare at the spot where Leticia Evris had once lain, before lying down in that same place himself. Faintly, he could still smell her.  

Leticia Evris had always carried a subtle rose scent. When he buried his nose deep into her neck, the fragrance became stronger. It was a scent that suited her—soft like white lilies yet alluring like red roses.  

On the first day she left, the rose scent had been strong enough to notice immediately. But as time passed, it grew fainter and fainter. The fading scent tore at his heart. He feared that soon, he wouldn’t be able to smell it at all. He feared that even the few traces she had left behind would disappear completely.  

In a low voice, he said, 

“Get me roses, Hans.”  

“Pardon?”  

“Red roses. As many as possible…”  

His Highness has truly gone mad. 

Hans was horrified but suppressed his feelings, answering with a simple, 

“Yes, Your Highness.”  

He wanted to fill this room with things that reminded him of Leticia Evris. The beer they had first shared, red roses that called her to mind, and black pearls that resembled her.  

He wanted to fill the emptiness, even if artificially. Without doing so, he couldn’t bear the void inside him.  

Karl Lavresion was drowning in the emptiness that engulfed him. Endlessly, without escape.  

***

After long preparations, Leticia finally completed the opening of her shop. She looked around the store, which was soon to open, with a satisfied smile. It was modest, but every part of it bore her touch. The signboard, the wallpaper, the tables, the chairs, the lighting, the decorative items, and even the bouquets of roses adorning the interior—all of it had been personally chosen by her.  

From the very first day, the café was bustling with local residents. She and her hired staff were so busy making drinks and baking cookies that they barely had time to breathe. Even during her time working at Anne’s shop, she had never moved so busily.  

By the time she finished her work, she was utterly exhausted. She walked home slowly, like a turtle, barely managing to reach her house.  

Mia, who had been taking care of the children, greeted her warmly as she returned.  

“Are you okay, Leticia? Was it very busy?”  

“…I need to hire more people. Two more.”  

Leaning against the wall, she murmured her response. Mia smiled and comforted her.  

“See? I told you it would go well, Leticia. You always underestimate yourself.”  

“Do I?”  

Perhaps it was because Mia had consistently praised her, but now, instead of feeling shy at her compliments, Leticia found herself wondering, 

Could it really be true?  

Her growing confidence now filled her chest like a steady flame. Even when she looked in the mirror, she could see a different expression on her face—one that was more confident and relaxed.  

Just like Karl Lavresion in the past.  

She had once envied the composure and confidence he possessed.  

“Leticia, why don’t we all have dinner at our house today? To celebrate your shop’s opening.”  

“Sure, that sounds great.”  

She had been meaning to repay Mia and her husband for all their help. She had already set aside a portion of today’s earnings for them. Even if they refused to accept it, she planned to leave it at their house in secret.  

Smiling, Leticia headed to Mia’s house with her and the children.  

***

Karl Lavresion sat alone in a room filled with countless roses, staring blankly into the air. The bed he sat on, the floor, and even the table were covered in rose petals. The overpowering scent of roses filled the room, even without him doing anything.  

He had placed black pearls resembling her throughout the room and drank the beer they had once shared to his heart’s content.  

But it wasn’t enough. He had thought that filling the room with things that reminded him of her would ease the emptiness, but it hadn’t. Nothing had changed.  

Scattering rose petals artificially didn’t bring back her scent.  

He wanted to see her in the flesh. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t help it.  

He wanted to hold her in his arms and lie beside her as he used to. He wanted to call her “Leti” and hear her respond with an “Mm-hmm.”  

Her face and voice swirled in his mind, leaving him dizzy. His chest felt tight.