Chapter 3.4

Karl Lavresion rose from his seat as if possessed. Desperate to escape the abyss of emotions consuming him, he began walking aimlessly, letting his feet carry him wherever they pleased.  

With his disheveled hair and unkempt appearance, he wandered around the Solar Palace, drawing the attention of onlookers. Speculation about why he had not yet returned to Arhadan ran rampant. Some said it was because of Leticia Evris, while others attributed it to his mother’s scandalous past as a mistress.  

He paid no mind to the gossip surrounding him. If he had cared about such things, he would never have gone to the villa with Leticia Evris in the first place.  

Karl had always been a man closely tied to water. Whenever his mind was troubled, he would dive into a lake to swim or sit quietly by the sea, letting the sight of the water calm him.  

If it was going to be this painful, he resolved to forget her altogether. With that thought, he arrived at the lakeside. But as soon as his eyes landed on the lake, his face turned pale at the memory that surfaced.  

He recalled the image of Leticia Evris diving into the dark center of the blue lake. Her desperate yet fragile back…  

Now, he finally understood her feelings when she plunged into the lake. He remembered her tear-filled eyes, struggling to escape the emotions that had pushed her to her limits.  

She, too, had wanted to live.  

She had fought desperately to survive the torment that consumed her. Though she appeared to have lost all will to live, in truth, she had clung to life more fiercely than anyone else.  

She had silently screamed her desire to live, yet he had failed to notice and had instead sought to exploit her vulnerability.  

It was him. He was the one who had run away after seeing her desperate face.  

Karl Lavresion’s gaze trembled uncontrollably as he stared at the lake.  

Leti. Now I understand how you felt when you stepped into the abyss of those waters.  

You wanted to die more than anyone… and yet, you wanted to live.  

You were sincere about life, clinging to the edge of a cliff, and I turned my back on you.  

I’m sorry.  

I’m so sorry.  

His face contorted as he looked toward the center of the lake. Tears he hadn’t realized he was holding back began to fall to the ground. He raised a hand to his cheek and felt the dampness.  

Now I understand the tears you shed every time…  

He couldn’t bear how much he wanted to see Leticia Evris’s tear-filled blue eyes. Even now, he remained selfish to the core.  

***

These days, Leticia led a life so busy that she barely had time to breathe. Unable to rely solely on Mia’s help, she hired a nanny to look after the twins when she wasn’t home. At the café, she employed four staff members, but when it came to making desserts, she insisted on doing it herself, accepting only minimal assistance.  

She had thought that, being in a small village, there wouldn’t be many customers. But to her surprise, there were plenty of regulars who visited consistently. Perhaps it was because hers was the only café in town. In any case, she was pleased with the better-than-expected sales.  

The mere act of earning money with her own hands brought her a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Most of all, she loved that she could spend that money on herself. In the past, even when she earned money, it had always gone to her mother; it had never truly been hers.  

Once all the employees had left for the day, Leticia also prepared to leave the café. As she locked the door, she felt someone’s gaze on her from behind.  

She turned her head, but all she saw was the sky bathed in the hues of sunset and a few passing villagers. No one seemed to be watching her.  

Was it just my imagination? 

Tilting her head in confusion, she pocketed her keys and began walking home. She was eager to see the twins waiting for her.  

Though the fatigue from work weighed on her body, and her joints ached more than she thought they would, she couldn’t help but smile. Just knowing that her children were waiting for her filled her with a sense of stability and contentment.  

When she arrived home, the nanny, Marie, greeted her with the twins.  

“Selina, Killian!”  

Selina reached out her arms toward her. Leticia picked her up, kissing her cheek. Killian looked up at her expectantly, so she knelt down to kiss him as well.  

“Marie, thank you. Was everything alright?”  

“Yes, Madame. Everything was fine.”  

“Thank you, as always. You can head home now.”  

“Understood. Oh, by the way, I left some letters on the table.”  

“Alright, thank you.”  

After Marie left, Leticia remained with Selina and Killian. She drew a bath and gestured to the children.  

“Shall we play in the water with Mommy?”  

“Yes!”  

The twins loved playing in water. Bathing them while letting them play served two purposes, making it a win-win for her. She filled the tub with water and placed a few rubber duck toys in it, which made the children giggle with delight.  

After finishing their bath and playtime, Leticia indulged them in their favorite pretend-play games. Selina loved playing the hero, which naturally made Leticia the villain, while Killian took on the role of the princess.  

“Princess, I’ve arrived. I’ll protect you now!”  

Selina spoke in her best attempt at a dignified voice, to which Killian responded softly, 

“Thank you, brave knight.”  

Just listening to their exchange amused Leticia so much that she struggled to suppress her laughter throughout the game.  

It wasn’t until late at night, after the children had tired themselves out and fallen asleep, that Leticia was able to catch up on her own tasks. While looking over the unfinished outfits she had been sewing for the twins, she suddenly remembered the letters Marie had mentioned.  

There were two letters on the table. She frowned in confusion. Other than Amy, there was no one who would write to her.  

She opened Amy’s letter first. Its contents were similar to usual, asking about her well-being and how the children were doing. Leticia wrote a brief summary of her recent days in reply.  

The second letter, however, made her freeze as soon as she saw the sender’s name. It was from Hans, Karl Lavresion’s butler.  

After some hesitation, she opened the letter and began to read.  

「To Lady Leticia Evris,  

This is Butler Hans. How have you been? Is your health well?  

I will get straight to the point. Though I never told His Highness where you went, I have always known. It took me a long time to muster the courage to send this letter.  

I am well aware that His Highness made several mistakes with you. I cannot begin to imagine how hurt you must have been, but I believe you were deeply distressed. Even so, I write to you, knowing I may be overstepping.  

Would you consider meeting His Highness again? He continues to long for you. Since your departure, he has been staying in the room you once occupied. He has ignored all advice to return to Arhadan.  

Even if you cannot reconcile with him, could you at least persuade him to return to Arhadan for his own sake?  

If this drags on any longer, those who followed His Highness from Arhadan may grow resentful and spread slander about him back in Arhadan. In truth, such rumors have already begun to circulate…  

I have reached the limits of what I can manage. I hope this letter stirs even the slightest change in your heart.  

I await your reply.  

Butler Hans」  

As soon as she finished reading the letter, Leticia unconsciously folded it and placed it back on the table. She sat there, dazed.  

She had only ever speculated about how Karl Lavresion might be doing. Hearing direct news about him for the first time shook her heart.  

Her fingertips trembled, and her heart pounded loudly. She cautiously placed a hand over her chest, feeling the rapid thumping of her pulse.  

The letter spoke of how Karl’s safety might be at risk if he didn’t return to Arhadan. It claimed that the reason he wasn’t returning was because of her.  

Karl Lavresion… was struggling because of her.  

Her wish that he wouldn’t forget her had been sincere. But her hope that he wouldn’t suffer was just as genuine. Even hearing such news, she couldn’t remain indifferent. She didn’t want him to be unhappy.  

He had caused her pain, but he had also brought her happiness. Because of him, she had experienced drinking alcohol for the first time, swam in a lake, learned what hunting was, and realized why she had to leave her mother. Without him, she would have remained tied to her mother, never understanding any of these things.  

What should I do?  

Without realizing it, she began biting her nails. Anxiety and unease crept in. All this, just from briefly hearing about his situation through a letter…  

She glanced at the letter sitting on the table before turning her back on it. Even though the words “I await your reply” lingered in her mind, she couldn’t bring herself to act. At this moment, she wasn’t certain of anything.