Chapter 2

Warmer than their clasped hands, his eyes quietly held her. She wondered if her own gaze, when looking at Hussian, was like that too. Did it hold so many feelings? Light filtered through the leaves and fell over both their heads.

With a steady gaze, Audrenette looked up at Hussian, her eyes full of affection. Hussian’s gaze lingered silently on the heat blossoming at the corners of her eyes, cheeks, and lips. For a moment, his eyes flickered. The space between them grew smaller, and a gentle shadow settled—not dark at all.

Slowly, she lowered their joined hands.

Their breaths felt even closer.

From the gaze that refused to break away, she felt emotions too vivid to erase. Audrenette squeezed their joined hands and shut her eyes tightly as the distance closed so much that their noses almost touched. Her lips were chapped from staying up nights these past few days. If she’d known this would happen, she would have put honey mixed with black sugar on her lips last night.

What should she do? What now? Did she shut her eyes too tightly? Should she open them? Really, what now.

Sweet regrets and worries spun in her head, and she felt her heart pounding so hard it almost hurt as she waited for her first kiss.

“……?”

She waited a long time, but nothing touched her lips. She peeked open her eyes to see Hussian, a little farther away, stretching his lips in a smile. His eyes sparkled, as if he’d been watching her every move.

As the situation slowly dawned on her, Audrenette could only scream inside. She couldn’t act normal, so she hurriedly let go of his hand and stiffly turned her body away.

She walked quickly, her steps light but embarrassed, and hid her face in her palms, too mortified to look up. Before she knew it, he approached with long strides and stood in front of her.

For a moment, her surroundings darkened, but the air swirling around her felt even warmer.

“Audrenette. May I see your face?”

“……I don’t want to show you right now.”

His low, teasing laugh at her words was maddening.

Audrenette stood still, face hidden, as Hussian silently waited for the flush in her cheeks to fade. Soon enough, he saw her violet eyes peeking carefully through her slightly parted fingers, and he gently took her wrist, lowering her hand without hurting her.

Her face, earlobes, and neck—all exposed without resistance—were flushed red.

“Why didn’t you say anything……!”

If only he’d said something.

He gave her no chance to calm her blushing cheeks, and didn’t say a word. His gaze, simply watching her, felt unfair, and as she opened her mouth, Hussian softly pulled her wrist. Before she could finish speaking, Audrenette was pulled into his arms, eyes wide, taking a deep breath. The scream she couldn’t voice squirmed under her tongue.

As the warmth wrapped around her back and waist, she felt even the tiniest bit of composure fly far away.

She heard a loud heartbeat in her ears—not just her own.

“……I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I never meant to tease you. It’s shameful and embarrassing to admit, but…… I was just too nervous.”

His sighing voice sounded unlike usual. Audrenette couldn’t help but smile as it slowly spread across her face. If only he were calm while she was a mess, she’d have felt unfair.

Audrenette slowly stepped back and called him softly.

“Marquis.”

At her call, their eyes met again. His pale skin made the flush around his eyes stand out even more. So he could make such a face too. It was strangely fascinating, and also a relief. Hearing his pleasant heartbeat, she calmed herself and bravely reached out her hand.

“…….”

As her gentle touch caressed his cheek, his arms, which had loosened slightly, tensed again. Hussian had to restrain himself, careful not to hurt her.

“……Even if I stand on tiptoe, I don’t think I’ll reach.”

“…….”

“So Marquis, could you bend down just a little more…….”

The space he’d left for her, so she wouldn’t feel stifled, closed in an instant, even before she could finish her soft request. The firmness she felt through his thin shirt made her body tense up. The warmth of each other’s lips, the sweet sensation she’d never felt before, made her mind hazy.

No matter that it was the mansion’s garden, where outsiders couldn’t enter; it was still open on all sides. She knew she should hurry and end the short kiss, pull away, and fix her crumpled dress, but Audrenette couldn’t move. Not until he gently took her shoulders and slowly increased the distance between them.

With a dazed expression, Audrenette blinked quietly, and Hussian leaned in and kissed her lips once more, then pulled away.

Startled, Audrenette stared at him, and Hussian, uncharacteristically shy, avoided her gaze.

“…….”

“…….”

The subtle atmosphere lingered, and both hesitated for a long time, unsure what to do. Even as she tried to calm herself, the pulse rising beneath her soft skin refused to settle. After quite a while, Hussian reached out again. Audrenette, still trembling, took his hand and continued walking through the garden with him.

Where had the wind of past seasons gone? Now, only the warm spring breeze touched her skin.

That day, as Hussian left the Heden mansion, he shyly caught her waving hand and left a small kiss on the back of her hand.

It had taken so much time to reach this point. Admitting her feelings, understanding his—none of it had been easy.

Now, only two choices remained: for him to confess first, or for her to reveal her heart. She couldn’t see it any other way.

After that day, both were so busy that they barely exchanged even brief messages. But she wasn’t worried or afraid. There was still so much time left for them.

Nearly a month after Hussian left, a letter finally arrived at the mansion, inviting her to visit. Suppressing her excitement, she checked her schedule and wrote her reply on an available day.

She hurried to the front hall, called out to a servant just leaving the mansion, and handed them her reply. Only after did she notice the servant’s puzzled face, but even if it was embarrassing, she didn’t regret it. If it meant seeing him even a little sooner, she could bear such awkwardness.

Dust rose where the horse’s hooves struck the ground. Audrenette watched the carriage fade away with a bright face, then returned inside. Her hastily finished, slightly slanted signature bothered her a little, but her mood stayed light.

From that day, Audrenette couldn’t sleep easily. Some nights she stayed up, longing to see him right away. But she never felt tired. Her days were simply filled with happiness.

Back then, she never imagined—

She would hear such words.

＊＊＊

“…….”

Their relationship had always been too close to call just friends, but a little awkward to define as lovers. She’d hoped it would finally have a proper name.

If only she hadn’t acted that way, maybe she could have accepted things more easily. After doing everything together, to be discarded like this—what was she supposed to do?

Had she made some fatal mistake with him? When? How? No matter how many times she asked herself, she couldn’t guess.

It wasn’t her fault. So why did she keep blaming herself? No matter how many times she tried to pull herself together, memories kept breaking her heart.

Audrenette hugged her pillow, closed her swollen eyes, and wished desperately. If only she could fall asleep. If only she could collapse from exhaustion and stop thinking altogether.

She didn’t want to remember anything. Whatever she recalled would always lead back to him.

＊＊＊

“Rene.”

Without even a light knock, a familiar voice burst into the bedroom and the door swung open.

Even the light streaming in was a struggle, but the voice and quick footsteps that followed chased away what little sleep she’d managed to hold onto.

Audrenette grumbled, showing her displeasure. After finally falling asleep, that careless behavior made her relive everything as she wished for more sleep. She sighed.

Not only that, she’d cried herself to sleep without drinking any water, so her head throbbed and her mouth was dry.

“I heard you’re sick. What’s wrong? Is it bad?”

The questions came non-stop, as if the answers didn’t matter. Audrenette let out a long sigh. She barely had the energy to speak.

If she didn’t answer, maybe he’d leave. But Rox didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so. After fussing over her, he timidly asked in a nervous voice,

“……You’re not dead, are you?”

He couldn’t hide the mischief in his tone.

“Rox, please be quiet.”

Unable to hold back, Audrenette sat up and snapped irritably. Of course, with no strength in her body, her voice came out weak and unimpressive. Rox, seeing her sit up, checked her complexion and finally breathed a sigh of relief.