Katarina woke to the pale light of dawn.

She must have fallen asleep at some point.

Today marked three days since she had fled the Lorhast estate in Felden.

After travelling by carriage all day, she was so exhausted by the time she arrived at the inn that she thought she might collapse and fall asleep instantly.

But once she lay down, sleep wouldn’t come.

She had been far too tense.

She had expected to spend the entire night staring into the darkness, but she managed to sleep for a few hours, for which she was grateful.

She still had a long way to go today.

When she pushed herself up from the bed, her head throbbed.

Her eyes were so swollen that she could hardly open them.

When she realized that the familiar warmth was absent from beside her as she woke, tears welled up again.

Every dawn, out of sheer habit, the man who always held her in his arms. When she carefully slipped out of them, a trace of regret would flicker across the face he pretended was still asleep.

‘When in the world did I start loving him?’

It was unfair that every memory that came to mind was sweet and painfully endearing.

Even the moments when he held her close while deceiving her.

He was a man who had held her countless times and knew exactly what she wanted; yet he deceived her.

If he had told her from the outset that he was using contraceptives, would she still have slept with him? No, she might not have climbed into his bed that night, but it would have been only a matter of time.

She had fallen in love with him.

Even as he held her, she wanted him for herself.

A small part of her had thought that if she happened to become pregnant and he called off the wedding, she might have a chance with him.

Katarina buried her face in her hands.

“Ultimately, I was the problem.”

Until she turned twenty, her entire world had consisted of the convent and old books, that was the problem.

The nuns only knew about love between a man and a woman in the most superficial way and always avoided the subject.

They were not people with whom a teenage girl could talk openly about such matters. So her confidants and the object of her romantic fantasies were all found in books.

The love stories in books were always beautiful.

Katarina would read her favorite passages over and over again until the pages wore thin. Without realizing it, she began to expect her own love to be just like that.

But reality was different.

There was no such thing as destined love.

Fendrick would be the subject of a whole chapter of history for his heroic deeds, but Katarina’s name would never be mentioned.

If her love story appeared in a book at all, it would be a single, forgettable line.

Trivial and utterly ordinary.

‘That’s all it ever was. A relationship that ends the moment I sort out my own feelings.’

Seeing how the tears kept coming, she realized that it would take quite some time for those feelings to settle.

Nevertheless, she was grateful that she had already decided where to go after leaving her job as a maid.

This meant she could now leave without overthinking it.

The place she had in mind was a small port village in the west, about four days’ journey from Felden by carriage.

A harbor town would have many outsiders coming and going, so it wouldn’t be unusual for someone without local connections to settle there.

Her vague childhood dream of living in a white house by the sea was the only thing keeping her moving forward.

Even with the money she had, she couldn’t afford to buy a house — or even a small plot of land. However, it would cover her living expenses for a few months.

Although she didn’t have any recommendation letters, she had experience working as a maid, so she could probably find work as a cleaner or helper somewhere.

She had also learnt to play the organ at the convent, so if she was lucky, she might find work as an organist or earn a little money by teaching others.

There were plenty of ways to survive.

‘Yes. Just focus on that.’

Fighting back the tears that were welling up again, she got out of bed. She had to eat something quickly, find a carriage and get to the next village.

Ideally, she would have liked to ride in a freight wagon, but if that wasn’t possible, she was prepared to walk.

She washed her face with cold water for a long time to wipe away the traces of tears, then changed her clothes.

After that, she went downstairs, determined to fill her empty stomach with something — anything — for breakfast.

“Oh, miss. You’re up this early?”

It was so early that she had assumed no one would be around, but the innkeeper was already awake and out front.

“You’re all dressed, too! Are you leaving already? The sun’s barely up.”

“Good morning. Yes, I need to leave early. Before that, I was wondering if I could have some breakfast.”

The innkeeper, who had seemed vaguely uneasy when she mentioned leaving early, brightened at once when Katarina brought up breakfast and pointed to the dining room.

“Of course, you need breakfast if you’re going to endure the road. There’s bread, butter, and ale. You can eat here, or I can bring it up to your room if you’d like.”

“I’ll eat in the dining room. Ah—by any chance, is there somewhere I might be able to catch a ride on a carriage?”

“There’s a place nearby where the stagecoach stops. But where are you headed?”

“Anywhere to the west is fine.”

“West, hm… I’ll go ask if there’s a merchant heading that way. If you’re lucky, you might even get a free ride. Just stay right here for now and have your breakfast.”

With that, the innkeeper hurried out of the building, his steps oddly flustered.

Watching his retreating back, Katarina tilted her head, wondering why he was in such a rush, then headed toward the dining room.

She finished a modest breakfast of bread spread with butter. By that time, the innkeeper still had not returned.

‘I should really get going now.’

She decided she would just go out and look for the stagecoach stop herself.

She picked up the plate, still dusted with crumbs, and was just rising from her seat when a familiar voice came from behind her.

“Did you enjoy your meal?”

A chill ran up her spine.

Frozen in place, Katarina slowly turned around.

Fendrick, eyes bloodshot, was standing in the doorway of the dining room, blocking the exit.

***

Katarina was on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. She forced herself not to retch from motion sickness and stared out the carriage window.

A familiar landscape filled her vision. The enormous building glowing under the evening sky was the Lorhast estate of Felden.

Fendrick extended his hand.

“Get down.”

Katarina glanced at that hand and let out a hollow laugh.

“You’re offering to escort me now? You wouldn’t even let me get down when I begged you for it earlier. What should I do? I’m not a lady who needs to take a gentleman’s hand.”

“Is that so.”

Fendrick lowered the hand without a shift in his expression. Instead, he abruptly leaned into the carriage and lifted Katarina as if she weighed nothing.

“Ah—put me down!”

She struggled, but Fendrick easily hoisted her over his shoulder. He strode into the estate, uncaring whether the servants saw him carrying her as though abducting her.

Katarina was tossed onto Fendrick’s bed.

Arms crossed, Fendrick looked down at her.

“Now, speak.”

His eyes were exactly the same as the day they met — those bright, yellow, beast-like orbs that were unmistakably filled with fury.

But Katarina was no longer the girl who had trembled in his presence and been unable to raise her head.

She met his gaze directly and retorted.

“How dare you ask me that after dragging me back like this?”

The carriage door had been locked from the outside. No matter how much she knocked on it or begged to be let down, it was useless.

The wheels thundered as if they might break apart, and the carriage only stopped when she needed to use the toilet.

Fendrick locked her inside and returned to the estate in under a day.

For some reason, he hadn’t travelled with her in the carriage.

Instead, he rode alongside it on horseback, with the cavalry he had brought with him tightly surrounding the carriage.

She had never imagined that he would come after her so quickly over the departure of just one maid. Nor had she thought he would come in person.

He captured her the instant he found her, forcing her immediately into the carriage. She still had no idea why she had been dragged back.

For this reason, Katarina was furious, too.

“So what exactly do you want me to say now?”

“Don’t I deserve to say something? Or do you have something you want to ask? Speak. Either one.”

Fendrick was giving her a chance.

A chance to make up for leaving him without saying goodbye.

She should not have disappeared from his life without saying goodbye. She should have raged at him, scolded him, cried and blamed him. She should have screamed at him, asking how he could deceive her, and called him a shameless man.

Right in front of his eyes.

As he searched for her, riding through the night, only one thought filled his mind.

‘Was I someone you could cut away from your life that easily?’